post pregnancy weight loss journey

Pregnancy Over 40, Spring and Fertility

Since spring has sprung and, along with it (at least where I live), some very nice weather, I thought Id share an article that connects spring with everything from elevated moods to increased fertility. Read more:

Scientists know that when seasons change, the retina — the part of the eye connected to the brain by the optic nerve — naturally reacts to variations in the amount of daylight. This triggers hormonal changes.

Particularly important is the adjustment in melatonin, a hormone that affects our mood and how we sleep. As a result of light changes, the body naturally produces less melatonin during spring, causing a lift in mood, a reduced desire to sleep, an increase in sexual appetite and a need to eat less.

SEE ALSO: BEE POLLEN FOR FERTILITY (getpregnantover40.com)

New findings published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, by researchers at the University of Massachusetts medical school, have also proved that activity levels rise as the days get longer. After analysing the exercise habits and food intakes of almost 600 men and women over a year, Professor Yunsheng Ma found that most subjects gained up to 2lb (1kg) in winter; they ate lots of carbohydrate and exercised little. Come spring, however, activity levels soared and calorie intake dropped. It seemed that the only reason for this was the change in season.

This is partly a psychological effect but also physical. Evolutionary biologists believe that our bodies are programmed to be more active as the hormone mix changes with more light. Released from the chemical messages that make us withdraw in winter, the body feels energised, ready to hunt for food and to give birth.

Spring is also the time, supposedly, when a young man’s thoughts turn to sex. And it is true that men are more fertile at this time of year than any other. Ironically, though, this is because levels of actual sexual activity seem to drop in spring. The less sex men have, the more they save up their sperm and the greater their sperm count when they do have sex.

Professor Michael Smolensky, a chronobiologist from the University of Texas specialising in the relationship of biology to the rhythms of hours, days and months, says that statistics indicate that sexual activity in human beings is much greater in autumn,. “When we look at couples who have kept sex diaries and single males who have kept their own data, sexual activity is rather low in spring,” Smolensky says.

This fits with studies that have shown conclusively that levels of testosterone, the male sex hormone, are higher in late summer and early autumn than spring, so that’s when men have the greatest sex drive and when conception rates are high.

But sperm counts do peak in March, April and May. Smolensky says: “In sexually active males, sperm count is affected by two factors, environmental temperature and sexual activity. When men are sexually active, sperm count goes down; when they’re not sexually active, they’re not using it, so it goes up.” That could explain Smolensky’s findings that there are more unplanned babies conceived during spring than any other time of year. There are more sperm around, so despite less sex, one’s more likely to hit the mark.

Spring not only improves our mood and energy levels, it can protect our teeth and bones. On the first few sunny days of spring many people feel the urge to take off those winter togs and do a bit of prancing in the sunshine. This is in response to the fact that for several months our bodies have been starved of vitamin D, essential for healthy bones and teeth. And we make it only when our skins are exposed to sunlight. We’re craving a top-up. 
  (www.timesonline.co.uk)

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intentional weight loss during pregnancy

Here is my follow-up post on my partial molar pregnancy. All in all, I had the best possible outcome with a molar pregnancy: no complications and my numbers went down quickly.

Things Ive heard a lot of throughout this whole process:

• "At least it happened early in the pregnancy."
• "At least you have 3 healthy boys to focus on."
• "You can try again soon."
• "Im sure those complications wont happen to you; dont worry about it."
• "My friend who miscarried just gave birth to a beautiful baby."

Sometimes it felt like as soon as I talked about the molar pregnancy or answered questions about what a molar pregnancy is, people would rush to assure me that it was all going to be fine or not to worry about it or that we will get pregnant soon. While talking with my doctor, he told me that the chances of me having the more serious complications of a partial molar pregnancy (read "Molar pregnancy") were very low because of how quickly my numbers went to negative, so I also felt that my chances of relapsing were slim to none. Honestly, I dont know what I wanted people to say. And I know that people were just trying to let me know that they love me and want the best for me, that they worry about me and didnt want me to have to go through anything more. I knew that they were trying to give me hope. I guess I liked it best when someone would just say, "Oh, man, Im sorry you are going through this. Ill be praying things keep getting better for you." The comments of "youll get pregnant again soon" felt like people wanted me to stop grieving over the loss of this pregnancy, this baby, and to move on. Sometimes I just felt down about the whole situation and didnt know what I wanted to hear. Whatever people say though, Im still always happier when someone says something to me about it instead of ignoring it. Grief is hard to manage and often made me feel like I was pushing people away.

I had a hard time moving on from this pregnancy loss. We had gone through an unexpected pregnancy loss before (this partial molar pregnancy was my 4th pregnancy; I miscarried our 1st pregnancy as well) and it was hard then. On one hand, having my 3 beautiful boys was an absolute blessing. They did keep me busy and they did remind me of the beauty in life, the fun in the everyday. They relaxed me and kept my hands busy. On the other hand, it was hard to find time to grieve. I didnt feel that I had time to throw myself into the emotions I was feeling and that sometimes I had to push them to the side. Maybe that is why the grieving process took longer. I do also think that the uncertainty of the next couple years played a big role as well (my husband is in the Navy, read "Asthma, STA-21, commissioning, and PCSing-- yikes!"). I kept thinking, "Oh, this was perfect timing to have a baby. What if I get pregnant before he has to leave? What if I get pregnant and we are moving during my due date? What if I dont like my next OBGyn?"

It took me awhile to realize all the pressure I was putting on myself over something that I couldnt change. It was ridiculous. I didnt like hearing from people, "You need to give yourself time to heal," when I told them about this wait period with the blood draws, but I realized I do. I wouldnt be happy if we rushed into the next pregnancy and miscarried. During my mono/di twin pregnancy (read "Identical or fraternal [revised]"), one of my big rules, because it was high risk, was, if I went into premature labor, would I regret an activity/food/drink/etc? If the answer was yes, I didnt do the activity, like take the walk or finish the chore list or eat the cold cuts for lunch. (I hate the no cold cuts during pregnancy rule. Since when is that a thing??) The risk had to outweigh the benefit. For this partial molar pregnancy, the risk of rushing things did not outweigh the benefit. Our timeline of moving and my husbands Navy schedule will sort itself out. And, in all honesty, this timing of our partial molar pregnancy wasnt exactly perfect either. We are moving across state lines in less than a week and my due date for the partial molar pregnancy was September 9th. I would either be super pregnant right now, stressing about all the things that needed to get done for our move, or nursing a newborn, since Ive never made it to my due date, even with our singleton.

The thing that has been getting me down as we get ready to move is never going to my OBGyn again. When we got pregnant this last time, I was very excited that when all was said and done, I would have given birth to 3 kids in the same state, a big feat for a Navy family. I would have also used the same OBGyn for 2 pregnancies. I liked the idea of having the same doctors and saying, "Oh, last time Doctor P was just wonderful; Im so glad he could deliver us this time as well." The only consistency in my history with OBGyns I have is having a pregnancy and a miscarriage at the same practice. My first pregnancy (miscarriage) and my second pregnancy (singleton) was at the same OBGyn practice; my third pregnancy (mono/di twins) and my fourth pregnancy (miscarriage/partial molar) was at the same OBGyn.

Im also dreading passing the due date. My husband says to not worry about it and let it go. I know he means well and I know this whole thing has been hard on him as well (he was sooo worried about me when we got the diagnosis). I just dont seem to be able to. I cant believe how much time has passed. From our first questionable ultrasound at the end of January to now, August. My positive pregnancy test was at the end of 2012-- time is marching forward. It is much easier said than done to not focus on the passage of time. My friends who were pregnant at the same time as me are all giving birth to their babies. Other friends have announced their pregnancies. My heart fills with joy for them; I know many of them have also struggled with infertility, pregnancy loss, and complicated or high risk pregnancies. Im not begrudging any of them. Just seeing their pregnancies come to fruition reminds me of where I "should be" in my pregnancy-- definitely something I have struggled to let go of. There are also smaller things, like commercials on TV that made us laugh when I was pregnant, "Oh, thats going to be us," or whatever we said. Now I see them and am reminded of how excited I was about the pregnancy and how excited our oldest was to be a big brother again.

This update has taken me awhile to write because the feelings were so raw for so long. Now Im honestly at a much better spot. Occasionally my heartstrings are pulled, like with the approaching due date, but the constant longing when I see a pregnant belly has died down. I remember the first couple blood draw appointments, taken at my OBGyn office, were really hard. I would sit in the waiting room and try not to look at the pregnant women checking in or struggling to lower themselves in those waiting room chairs (pregnant bellies are so cumbersome). I remember this one gal who was standing in line with her hand resting on her tummy; I thought the baby was kicking and she was feeling the little movements. I miss feeling that, in spite of how miserable carrying a pregnancy actually was for me. Now I dont feel my cheeks flush when confronted with a pregnant belly and I dont automatically calculate the weeks I "should be" when I look at my calendar. I dont feel on the verge of tears when our oldest asks when we are going to have another baby or tells me how much he wants a little sister; I can easily talk to him and answer his questions.

So now Im cleared to TTC, as many online forums call it (Try To Conceive). Whenever we get pregnant again, I will have close monitoring during the first trimester to make sure that Im not carrying another molar pregnancy. The molar pregnancy is behind us, but, as every woman who has experienced pregnancy loss in one form or another, it will never be forgotten. Two miscarriages, one of them being a molar pregnancy, has definitely made my husband and I nervous when it comes to certainty in our positive pregnancy tests. No, we are not pregnant now, but we recently discussed our feelings going forward. I was surprised to find that both he and I had the same feelings toward our next pregnancy. We are excited to be able to try again, though nervous. Nervous to experience all of this again, nervous at the possibility of miscarrying, nervous at the uncertainty of pregnancy and the heartbreak of loss. I think he feels much more like he doesnt want to get his hopes up whenever we find out we are pregnant again. I feel much more like I dont want to lose another baby. Its funny how men and women view things so differently. Ive learned through this whole thing that sometimes he words things differently than I would and that he views things differently than I do; however, his love is deep and strong and he felt the loss as well. He is my best friend and Im thankful for him everyday.

Heres to hoping!

My other blog posts on my molar pregnancy:

"Miscarriage"

"Molar pregnancy"

"The bake queen"

"3 weeks, 3 months"

"Time wont let me go"

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post baby weight loss journey

Pregnancy Over 40, The Light/Dark Connection

I frequently write about the importance of sleep and paying attention to the balance between light and dark on your bodys cycle.
 This article does a good job of explaining the importance of light during the day and the earths natural rhythms. Read more:

When you are in sync with the earths natural rhythms and cycles you can boost your fertility. If you work against natures rhythms as many of us do, then you may be harming your delicate fertility balance.

Your biological clock is intimately linked to your reproductive system by utilizing the same hormones that trigger ovulation and sperm maturation. Therefore both women and men are affected by respecting or ignoring their natural rhythms.

See Also: Inositol and Egg Quality(www.getpregnantover40.com)

Importance of Bright Light

Getting adequate sunlight or other full spectrum light during the day is key to optimum fertility for many reasons. Vitamin D is created in our bodies when we are exposed to sunlight and Vitamin D deficiencies have been linked to infertility.

Adequate sunlight also helps regulate circadian rhythms which allow you to sleep better at night. Regular exposure to the sun also helps you maintain a strong immune system which is necessary to maintain a healthy pregnancy. Women who get more sunlight also have consistent and stronger menstrual cycles.

Finally, bright light prevents your body from overproducing melatonin which suppresses fertility. This might explain why it is easier for women to conceive in southern regions and during the summer months. 
from: 
Boost Your Fertility While You Sleep by Sheryl Lyon

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weight loss during pregnancy pictures

I sat down this morning to write a blog post on our family schedule and why routines work well for us. However, as I was typing our toddlers kept interrupting me with issue after issue.

Whining.

Whining.

Whining.

I eventually felt myself getting more and more frustrated, losing my train of thought and writing long, rambling paragraphs that lead nowhere. I saved the blog post and closed the browser.

I tried switching gears. I reached out to a fellow momma and shared my frustrations, got some support; even texting someone can help get some encouragement. I switched activities. Obviously blogging wasnt going to happen; lets color! Lets start school earlier than usual. Lets do something organized together.

I called our kindergartner back inside to do some school. He got out his school supplies. One of our toddlers started whining, unprovoked. Literally standing in the middle of the room making high-pitched whiny, screeching noises over and over again. I gave him a warning. I invited him to sit with us and to color. He persisted. I walked him to his room and told him whining was unacceptable. He started screaming and hitting the door when I closed it. I took a deep breath and prayed, "God, let me love my kids through you. Let me show them your love."

I went back to the table with the other 2 boys, a toddler and our kindergartner. We said the Pledge of Allegiance. We prayed together. I went back to get the toddler in quiet time and asked if he wanted to join us. He declined and said he was sorry for whining and that he wanted to play in the playroom. He started getting dressed in costumes. I resumed school with the other 2 boys. The toddler at the table finished coloring and said he wanted to do costumes; he cleaned up his markers and went to the playroom. Moments later the first toddler came out of the playroom whining, whining, whining. I instructed him to use his words. He was frustrated; his backpack was broken. I informed him it was upside down and that is why everything was falling out. I offered to help him. He backed away whining. He let out the high pitch screeching whine over and over and so I walked him to his room to collect himself. He whined and whined at the door. I prayed. I went back to school with the other 2. I came back awhile later to ask if he wanted to come out of his room and he threw a toy at the door. I tucked him in for a nap and told him he needed to rest. I came back to do the calendar with the other 2 boys. It went well. We did our thing and then the other toddler started whining-- expressionless, unprovoked whining. Why? I didnt know so I asked him to do his calendar job. He stood motionless whining. I gave him a warning. He whined. I escorted him to his room to rest as well.

I stood outside their door and felt the tears well up in my eyes. What am I doing wrong? Why are they constantly whining and fighting?

Yesterday we had a list of errands to run. On the actual errands, they were obedient and well behaved. They stood in line with me at the Post Office. They waited in the returns line at Costco. But as soon as we got in the car it was constant bickering-- constant bickering. Wild slapping in the direction of their brother, screeching at the top of their lungs, "NO!", yelling, whining, throwing, flailing, moaning...

Im exhausted. This behavior has been going on for over a week. Throw in there some potty training regression and the constant whining and bickering has just about drained me. I put them down to nap and they spend the entire time opening their respective doors bumming, "Can I come out now?" I wake up in the morning to the sounds of the toddlers fussing and fighting and whining and arguing in the hall bathroom. I put them to bed after listening to them fuss and fight and whine and argue all.day.long.

I go through moments where I feel confident and think, "This is a phase. I understand it is a phase. I understand that parenting is hard and that some phases are more enjoyable than other phases. I know their brains are developing. I know they have dealt with big changes from their dad starting prototype and being gone all day. I know we will come out of this okay and to focus on the positives."

And then there are other moments where I cringe at the thought of riding in the car with them and so I dont want to leave the house.

Where I think about how quickly they grow up and how one day they wont be 3-years old anymore, they will be 6-years old and I will wonder where the time went.

Where I hear other moms talk about how the toddler years are their favorite.

Where Im crying in the laundry room and texting my mom because I just dont know what else to do and I feel so alone.

Where I miss our old duty station because I had friends who were going through the same thing with me, who have kids the same age as mine, who invited us over for playdates and park dates and coffee dates.

Where I just hate spending all day long listening to them fight with each other.

Those moments I feel like a horrible parent.

I dont know why our toddlers are behaving this way. I spend a lot of time praying and asking God to extend some grace their way, to blanket me in his love so that I can show them his love, to strengthen me so that I have the energy and patience to be consistent. I read parenting books (my favorites: Keep Calm and Parent On and When Mothers Pray). I meditate on Philippians, my favorite book of the Bible. I hold on to those sweet moments with them in between the fussing and the fits. Yet I struggle because the absolute truth is that I am not enjoying myself.

Since I do not have a large friend base here, Ive been working on keeping myself busy. Ive been focusing a lot on things that I do enjoy doing-- kindergarten with our oldest, taking walks with our infant, reading by myself and with the kids, and cooking. Some of the cooking has been fun to do with the children, even the toddlers. Sometimes it goes downhill quickly and for no reason, like yesterday when one of the toddlers was helping me until he just broke down into a whining mess. Other times they get immense satisfaction from making the meal with me and will channel all their energy into the tasks I give them. I try to have them help me one at a time, stealing moments that I can give them my undivided attention and listen to what they have to say. I try to find tasks that play to their strengths so they can build their self-confidence. Ive also been trying to keep our calendar full, inviting friends on playdates, meeting up with girlfriends, doing things with my family. Having 4 children, homeschooling, and life as a Navy wife tend to keep our calendar full and so the hours of the day tend to slip by quickly anyways; I make my best effort to organize those hours in a way that works well for our boys.

This is one of those phases that I am just holding on and hoping that it passes quickly. It has been one of those phases that no matter what I try doesnt seem to make a big difference in how our day goes or how the toddlers behave. It has been one of those phases that make me wish I lived closer to my family and to my girlfriends.

How do you deal with these kind of phases?

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weight loss during pregnancy is it safe

"Live a little, be a gypsy get around.
Get your feet up off the ground.
Live a little, get around."
-Paul McCartney, Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey

We are less than a week away from PCSing from North Carolina to South Carolina. I dont know why this move out of all the other moves weve done is so dang stressful. Ive moved from the west coast to the Northeast by myself as a newlywed. Ive moved from the Northeast to Hawaii by myself with a newborn. I even signed our lease for our apartment here in North Carolina by myself with a toddler and a power of attorney. And here we are, three years later moving one state down with my husband to help on both ends and Im having an absolute panic attack.

Every time we are about to move, I envision it going like the last scene in Thirteen Going on Thirty with Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo.

Image courtesy of The Blue Craftsman

?

They are adorable. The pink house, the couch in the lawn, cuddling on it and laughing... Ive never had the movers put my couch on the lawn and give us a moment on it to cuddle and laugh. Even if they did, I would probably be too stressed out about how they were packing our artwork to take advantage of the movie moment anyways.

Recently Chopped aired an episode where the contestants had to create dishes using "wasted" ingredients (view episode at FoodNetwork.com). I feel like that has been our breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for the past couple weeks, with a minor interlude when all both our familys came to town for my husbands commissioning. Last night for dinner we had frozen blueberry waffles, a cold tomato salad, and pimento scrambled eggs. We discovered 32 eggs in our garage refrigerator and so tonight we are either having a frittata or omelets, probably with the same pimento, yellow pepper, onion, and tomato filling. Im giving the kids Greek yogurt with nearly all their meals (how did we acquire so much Greek yogurt???). Thankfully we are driving to South Carolina so all our pantry ingredients can be transported in our car instead of thrown out or given away like when we moved from Hawaii. Re-buying all your oils and vinegars is annoying and it feels absolutely wasteful throwing out all your cleaning products and pantry items.

Oh, moving. You are just messing with my head. Our house here in North Carolina was perfect for the kids, considering it is a ranch-style home with a playroom and fenced in backyard. The storage space here was horrible. I feel like our things are shoved in musty closets or jumbled in bins. I keep thinking, "Do I want this room packed this way?" Im so worried we will have small boxes of books and other things from every room. I dont want to get overly OCD, but I want all my books packed together so I can figure out what I want to do with them on the other end. Ive never lived in a home laid out like this where Ive had to put bookcases in every corner of every room. Aside from books, we have often joked about how weve taken advantage of our vertical storage; we now need to have everything on the upper shelves and on top of cabinets taken down to easily be within reach of the movers-- all the coffee cups and rarely used kitchen appliances. We need to have everything that cant be lifted off the walls taken down for the movers (the television, artwork). And have I mentioned we have toddler twins and a five-year old in the mix? They are fascinated with absolutely everything weve taken down.

The to-do list feels like it is never ending, especially when considering all the things we need to do in one day before we turn the keys back over (cleaning the house, carpet cleaning, etc). I know that it isnt. I know we will get it done. I know that we will get through this week and it wont be as bad as Im thinking in my head.

Right now I have bags of our pantry items lining the wall in our family room, a gated area we dont let our toddlers into unsupervised. I have winter jackets hanging in door ways as I sort through long forgotten closets. Our playroom is absolutely trashed, between me combing through toys we no longer need and our toddlers entertaining themselves while I work. Our master bedroom is piled with laundry, to-do lists, and items weve stashed away out of the toddlers reach for one reason or another. I feel like Im constantly stepping over a pile or telling the boys to stop touching something.

I think a lot of things are adding to my stress level, things I need to let go of. I feel like weve had a break from military life these last three years due to the STA-21 program (read "STA-21 Officers Program"). Im nervous about heading back into that with three kids, especially now that weve decided to go career Navy. This has felt like a glimpse into civilian life and it is nice. Im slightly envious of my friends who are settling into these houses that they plan on staying in until their children are grown, who are picking neighborhoods based on school districts all the way up to high school, when currently their oldest is four-years old. It tugs at my heart to see my oldest saying good-bye to friends that he has come to love dearly (read this recent article by Military Spouse Magazine, "Lessons About Saying Good-bye from a Five-Year Old Military Child"). I dont want to say good-bye. I dont want to leave this area. I love my friends. I love this area. I could see us here. I could see my kids grow up here.

But it is time. It is time to say close this chapter. It is time to face the mess in my house and check off my to-do list. It is time to start looking into kids programs in our new area in South Carolina. It is time to start posting in Navy wife forums asking if anyone else will live near us. It is time to spread new roots, to make new friends, to let our friends here in North Carolina know how much we have loved them and our friendships with them. It is time to start the cycle all over again of "Making friends," like the blog I posted in September of 2011. This is a hard thing to do every few years as a military family. A friend asked me at lunch this past week if it is easier now since Ive done it so many times before. The answer is no. It is hard to open your heart at each duty station and let people in. It is hard to connect and love someone and say good-bye. Im determined to embrace each duty station with open arms, knowing there is eventually an end, either with us moving away or our military friends moving away. It is something that I will probably always struggle with because sometimes it feels exhausting (read, "Making the best"). Even with the challenges, right now I love this life. I love living new places. I love settling into a new home and redecorating. I love having a reason to go through all our boxes every couple years and constantly being reminded of our treasures. Who else has a reason to open keepsake boxes every one to three years? I love finding my engagement ring box, baby books, and mementos of our good times. I love the people I meet and exploring new areas. I love feeling like this life is an adventure that Im embarking on with my best friend and our beautiful children.

And duties of this life call. Time to get back to packing! Forget Tuesday afternoon, laundry is never ending...

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weight loss and gain during pregnancy

We potty trained our oldest when he was three years old-- hes now five years old-- and I am so ready to have our toddlers potty trained as well. However, my husband and I decided awhile ago that we wouldnt potty train our twin boys until they turned three. What led us to that decision?

When our first was a little guy, I dabbled in potty training. I would put him in underwear at 18-months and let him feel what it was like without a diaper. We brought him to the restroom with us and worked on his "potty vocabulary." We encouraged him to try to use the restroom. We asked him when his diaper was full if he was stinky... on and on. We never really pushed the potty training, but we highly encouraged it.

By the time he turned three, he had decided that potty training was not for him. Diapers were great. I would ask if he wanted to use the potty and he said, "No," every time. In fact, he never used the potty until we actually made him potty train. But, when he was just past three and we made him potty train, he exceeded the readiness list (read "Why not?") and we potty trained him days and nights all at once. Why not do it that way?

Our toddlers have thrown us a curve ball. While our oldest demonstrated zero interest in potty training, our toddlers are super excited about it. They are two and half years old right now and love talking about the potty. They love when their older brother uses the potty. They love when we are in the bathroom, either to use the restroom ourselves or to brush their teeth, take a bath, whatever it is that brings us into the glorious restroom. They have used the restroom multiple times. One of them even told us-- on his own initiative-- that he needed to use the restroom for a larger function than just tinkling. Our oldest would never have done that in a million years. In fact, when asked at the same age, he told me, "Ive got my diaper."

Which brings us to another big difference between our oldest and our two toddlers. While D was also a late talker, when he started talking, he really started talking. Our toddlers are dragging in their vocabulary. Right now they are playing and talking and I can make out about 20% of the words they are saying. When Im involved in what they are doing, not just eavesdropping, I can get that number to 50% or so. They are in the midst of this phase where they throw fits about everything. At the park the other day, one of our toddlers threw an epic meltdown when I told him to stop touching things in the parks public restroom (ew, ew, ew, ew).

There are days when the toddlers shake our resolve regarding putting off potty training. A week or so ago, one of our toddlers was obsessed with the restroom. He told us before he had to go potty, after he went potty, and wanted his diaper changed if it was the slightest bit wet. When we were changing a barely wet diaper for him to run and finish in the potty, we thought, "Should we?" We debated the pros and cons, if we wanted to or not. While we see many pros, the con-- their ability to communicate-- remains the same.

Which leads me back to how we potty trained our oldest. Yes, we made him potty train. He was over three years old and literally demonstrated every bullet on the readiness list (on every readiness list I read). When we kicked off the potty training, we handed the responsibility over to him. He became responsible for telling me the timer went off and it was time to try. He became responsible for going potty before we left the house. He became responsible for telling me he had to go potty when we were out and so we had enough time to get to a restroom. He became responsible when he had accidents after he was potty trained. I dont see the toddlers rising to this occasion. I watch them and wonder, but at the end of it, I dont see them taking this on. I see me pushing two toddlers to try. I see me cleaning up accidents for weeks and weeks with little progress. I see a year or more of over night diapers and just-in-case pull ups and carpet cleaner and extra clothes when we leave the house. That is not how I want to potty train.

And so we wait. We wait and let them build their potty vocabulary. We give them praise and a treat when they ask to use the potty. We change their diapers when they ask and make sure to clean up stinky diapers right away (not that anyone with a nose would be able to tolerate a toddler in a stinky diaper for more than 30 seconds anyways). We are viewing potty training in a different light. Potty training is a process and there is a lot that builds up to it. If we teach them that using the potty is the end goal and the words they need to know before switching to underwear all the time, they will comprehend what their role is much more than throwing it all at them at once. If we teach them to understand "no" and "wait," then they will have more control over themselves when we cant access a bathroom immediately or when we tell them accidents happen but not once you are potty trained.

This is not to say that I do not have a countdown until we get our youngest two kids out of diapers: 5 or 6 months. Now if only we could skip the whole "potty training process" and jump straight to three potty trained kids. :)

(Note: we did allow our oldest a period of leniency when he was working on potty training. It is hard to learn that it takes longer to get to a bathroom when you are at a grocery store than at home or that sometimes Momma doesnt know where a bathroom is and has to find it, like at a big mall. However, once he was potty trained, we told him he needs to make it to a bathroom. Again, we made exceptions after big changes that initiated backsliding, like when he was having problems with a bully at preschool and things such as that.)

Blogs I wrote on potty training our oldest:

"Try to see it my way"

"Why not?"

"Follow-up on potty training"

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We moved to South Carolina at the end of August for my husband to go through the pipeline (again). The first class up date for power school, October, my hubby did not get picked up. This week they put out the list of who will be classing up this time and my husbands name was on the list.

This morning when he came home and told me he was classing up, I was very surprised by my disappointment. Weve never been "on hold" like we have been here. He has had to muster twice a week while on hold, but he was home before 8 am every morning. By the time I got out of bed, he had already fed the boys breakfast and was cleaning up the kitchen, even on muster days. That was a definite bonus. By mid-November, I think we started grating on each other though. I really wanted him to class up soon. I told my mom, "If he doesnt class up this time, we are going to kill each other!" We dont have a busy calendar here and so we were all spending a lot of time at home together-- all.day.long. Wonderful for a month or so, but it is now December and we have been doing this since he graduated college in August (granted we did move from North Carolina to South Carolina during that time and he completed indoc, but, still, mostly just spent here at home). It is amazing how irritating little things can become when you spend all day, every day with someone.

Then we went on mini-vacation during Thanksgiving weekend. We spent four days at the beach with no plans, just hanging out as a family, away from our house and the day to day routine. We had so much fun. It was so refreshing coming home after that. And we talked about things we could do if he didnt class up this time... And I started thinking, "Oh, it would be nice if we could do this and that..."

So this morning I realized how much things will change around here. He fed the boys, as usual, this morning. While I got ready, he got the boys ready. While I was out of the house with the boys, he cleaned up the house and did the dishes. It really struck me just how much of a help he has been around here and how petty and silly the little things are. He would get irritated with me taking so long to get ready-- reading and talking on the phone to my sister while getting ready. I would get irritated with him for filling up the hamper after making a trip into his closet or not having the boys clean up their messes as they went. Today, that stuff all seemed silly. He gladly played with the boys while I chatted with my sister this morning, telling me to enjoy my last couple leisurely mornings. (Can I even emphasize how nice it is to have two parents home in the morning???) And when we got home, I noticed all the stuff he did do instead of all the stuff he didnt do and how much I appreciate him doing those things.

As for my feelings now that it has sunk in that hes classing up, Im fine with it. We came here for him to go through the pipeline and now hes started. Im surprised at how stressful it was to find out when he was classing up. For the October class he was told yes and no all the way up to the day school started. The next classes will probably be more of a roller coaster, SOBC and prototype. SOBC is unaccompanied in Connecticut. Prototype is either here or in upstate New York. I think Ill have a Navy wife heart attack if they tell him, "Oh yeah, you are classing up next week for prototype... in upstate New York." But I wont will do my best not to stress out about that until power school is over.

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weight loss journey after pregnancy

Woman Conceives Naturally at 47

Heres another one!
 Heres another story of a woman who got pregnant by surprise at the age of 47.  So all you "youngsters" in your early 40s, it certainly happens!  Read more:

SEE ALSO: 49 AND PREGNANT (getpregnantover40.com)

From the article:

Becoming pregnant at age 47 wasnt a worry for Robin Brussel. "I enjoyed every minute of being pregnant," she said.
Still, it was a surprise. "I thought I was going through pre-menopause," she said. "It just happened."
Brussel, now 48, gave birth in December to a 6-pound, 10-ounce boy named Noah she carried for 39 weeks. He was a cesarean birth, as were her four older children, ages 18 to 28. Noah was the first child born to her and her husband, Mark Brussel, 56. Theyve been married nearly four years.
 from St. Louis Today

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The year is not over yet, but I have loved homeschooling 5-year old preschool. Yesterday I worked on our curriculum for kindergarten and Im even more excited for next year. We kept D back a year (a fellow homeschooling mother of boys calls this "red shirting" and not keeping them back-- love it!). Our sons birthday is at the end of the summer so he would either be youngest or oldest kid in his class. We decided he could use another year before we started him in kindergarten. Next year we will start our first "real" year of homeschooling: kindergarten.

For us, the emphasis for preschool has been on character and community. Weve been focusing on waiting your turn and taking turns, not interrupting, helping others, thinking of others before yourself, listening and following instructions, and following the rules even without direct supervision. Most of this can be taught in everyday life, especially since he has two younger brothers. We apply these lessons as he helps cook, clean, and run errands. When there is an aspect we feel needs special attention, we take the time to teach that lesson, such as following instructions while cooking and patiently waiting for the job he has to do (not rushing through it and making mistakes).

Of course we also do school. Ive been following Ruth Beechicks method for reading and writing, The Three Rs. We do some sort of writing every day. Usually it is informal, but a couple times a week I have him copy a complete sentence. Weve been reading chapters of Who Was Martin Luther King Jr? by Bonnie Bader. After we read a chapter, I have him copy a sentence down from that chapter, a sentence of my choosing that I feel summarizes that chapter or teaches something important about Martin Luther King Jr. Often he copies words in his notebook that have something to do with that days theme or activities, like when we were working on colors with his toddler brothers, he wrote down things that were red (strawberries, apples, Clifford). Sometimes the only writing he does that day is on a treasure map he drew or a card for a friend or family member he made. We do a lot of reading as a family anyways, Look and Find books, childrens books, books on a topic that interests him. One of their favorite books is Birds of North Carolina by Tim Ohr. We bought it when we lived in North Carolina and had lots of trees and birds in our backyard. There we would sit in our sunroom and name the birds we saw. This book was a Costco find that I bought on a whim (need to get one for South Carolina now that weve moved!). We also have a large coffee table book on John Deere tractors that they love. It gives the history of John Deer and facts on each model; we read that book a lot. That book was a used book store find that cost hardly anything. Now that we are working on reading, Ive scoured the used book stores childrens section for easy readers (Curious George, Berenstain Bears, Clifford, etc). We usually work together on reading during his brothers naptime when we have uninterrupted time together. I love that time, curled up on the couch together working on reading a book (and then I love when we are done for the time being and not spending 10 minutes on one word-- haha!).

Math hasnt been difficult for us to incorporate in our homeschool. I actually bought Saxon Math K: An Incremental Development (Home Study Teachers Edition). I bought this at a homeschool consignment store in North Carolina-- best place ever! I did not buy the meeting book or the kit, which includes all the materials needed for the curriculum. I bought the materials on Amazon, like the linking cubes and such. I bought some of them before we started and some of them after we started when I realized I actually needed for the lessons. I also did not follow this book to a T. I mostly used it as a guidebook. D really likes math and it comes naturally to him. We tend to do a lot of math with him in everyday life, not just with counting bears, but with word problems and having him help solve things. For instance, "If Mommy and your brothers drive in the van and Daddy and you ride in the Jeep, how many people are in the van? How many in the Jeep? How many all together?" "I made 10 cookies and there are 3 boys to eat the cookies. How many cookies does everyone get? How many cookies are leftover?" "How many drinks do I need to buy at Chick-Fil-A so we all get a drink? If we want a milkshake after we drink our lemonades, how many drinks will I buy total?" I used the Saxon Math Teachers Edition much more as an inspiration for a more structured lesson if I need it. I do not use the calendar plan laid out in it; we have a hanging pocket calendar we use instead. We also play math guided games: Chutes and Ladders, ThinkFun Math Dice Jr, Sorry. He seriously loves math and loves when we do anything that has even the slightest mathematical slant. A favorite game of his? Measuring things in the house with a tape measure. I make it a math game. "If the chair is 20 inches across, how many inches across would it be if there were 2 more inches? How about 2 less inches?" I really did like the Saxon Math book; so much so that I bought the Level 1 Home Study Teachers Edition to use his kindergarten year-- again, just the teachers edition, not the complete kit.

There are other subjects that we do regularly. I keep track of everything in the Homeschoolers Journal. We try to remember to do our calendar everyday and we usually do. Before I got the pocket calendar, we crossed off days on a wall calendar. My neighbor and I have big plans to make an adorable felt calendar! Im very excited about that. Everyday at breakfast we read from the One Year Childrens Bible. The boys love their Bible story and pull it down while I get their breakfast plates on the table. I like how short the stories are so I can actually read to both our preschooler and our toddlers without losing their interest. We also do a Bible verse with our preschooler. I do not have him learn a verse a week, just more on his pace. He must learn it word for word, but when hes ready to learn the next part, I teach it to him. He just learned Isaiah 9:6 and now we are working on John 3:16. We also talk a lot about the Navy, since their dad is a submariner. The toddlers are very interested in submarines, ships, and boats. Our preschooler is very interested in how the submarine works. They all love that there is a submarine in Despicable Me 2.

And part of our homeschooling plan is teaching that everyone needs to help out around the house. He feeds the dog every morning and changes the dogs water. They all bring their dishes to the kitchen sink or kitchen counter (depending on the dish-- I bet they could break their Corelle bowls chucking them in the sink). They have to pick up shared living spaces throughout the day, when they change activities. I do not require either the toddlers or our preschooler to move all the toys from the family room to where it necessarily goes in the playroom, unless Im having our preschooler pick up toys that he got out and a mess he made (like his puzzles or his craft stuff). That is too much of a task for the toddlers to grasp (keep picking up toys in the family room and put them away where they go-- they get distracted). After they bring the toys to the playroom, I sit in there and help put them away or direct where they go. They all help with housecleaning, tidying shared spaces, dusting, sweeping, wiping down counters. This Rubbermaid Dual Action Microfiber Flip Mop has made it so easy for our preschooler to help with the floors. The toddlers dust with dusting cloths and they help clean either with paper towels or rags sprayed with vinegar water. They all help fold laundry. Surprisingly, they actually can all help, not the kind of help children often give that is in no way helpful. The toddlers can fold rags, towels, and pillow cases quite well. Their shirts and things are often folded by them in interesting and unique ways, but when they get a bee in their bonnet to fold a load of laundry, who am I to stop them? Our preschooler can fold just about anything; he gets frustrated when I drop a big load of laundry in front of him and will hum and haw. Once he gets going he is fine. The smaller loads he handles with no complaint. I really, really, really make an effort not to complain about house chores in front of them. They do, after all, have to get done one way or another, so it might as well be cheerfully. I have Philippians 2:14 hanging in their playroom, "Do everything without grumbling or arguing."

As for socializing... We do lots of playdates and activities, some structured (held a paper airplane contest), some not (park picnics or childrens museum trips). There are neighborhood kids to play with at home and homeschooling families that weve really been connecting with since weve moved here. And we are looking into our homeschooling co-op options for next year, joining one of those in the next couple weeks. Hes part of organized sports and, most recently, a preschool piano class. The best thing about homeschooling preschool is that our schedule is open and we are available for playdates and get-togethers that are held during the day. Ive been really excited looking at the co-op options for next year and the homeschool families weve connected with. The other thing Im really excited about is that my hubbys schedule is going to a little crazy next year and homeschooling is going to give us the flexibility to spend as much time as possible with him! I know we havent started the kindergarten year yet or had baby #4 yet, but I loved homeschooling preschool this year and I think kindergarten is going to be even more fun. :)

Picture taken by A McTaggart

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Picture taken by TwinBug Photography at twinbugphotography@yahoo.com

Isnt Navy life crazy?

We had some stress this past week when we found out we could not extend our lease because the homeowners plan to return to the property-- the house we are currently living in. (Check out my blog post "Murphys Law.") My hubby talked to his lieutenant and detailer and we were able to get orders for October. Even better, we have the orders PRINTED and IN HAND so we can set up our move in August before our lease expires. It all came together.

In all honesty, I had a bit of a freak out when I found out that we couldnt extend our lease. It really stressed me out. I kept thinking about how much money it would cost for us to move in-town, as well as the inconvenience. And this would be just weeks or months before we would be moving again! (Confused? Read that blog post I mentioned, "Murphys Law." It will fill you in.)

Not that I freaked out that much-- it was nothing a good cry and a Bones marathon couldnt solve-- but it really made me nervous. I didnt sleep well and I started convincing myself coffee has more nutrients than it really does. I also started fretting about whether or not our oldest would be able to do his 5-year old preschool class next year at his preschool-- if we moved locally, would we be close enough? Would we actually get orders and move out of state? I fretted about the summer camps I already signed him up for and paid for. Should I be seeking refunds? I started thinking about the plans we have already made this summer. Should we let people know we might be cancelling? Will we be cancelling? If we move in-town, could we still do these trips, financially or time-wise?

Okay, maybe I did freak out a lot more than I thought. My mind just started going in a million directions. When I took D to preschool, I would roll down the windows and let the warm spring air roll in. I would turn up the radio... but those thoughts would still creep back in. "Maybe you should keep a look out for houses for rent. Maybe you should contact your realtor. Maybe you should warn D he might not be going to school here in the fall. Maybe you shouldnt have told him he would be going there in the first place."

Living in limbo is so hard. I dont know why it is so hard. I kept telling myself to let it go, that it will all work out, that everything will come together, give it some time... I prayed about it and did my best to hand it over to God. I would feel peace for the rest of the afternoon, but that night as I lay in bed, I would be praying and handing it over to God again!

And then we got our orders-- thank you, God! (Thank you, Navy!) Relief flooded in. I really dont know why living in limbo is so hard. Everything did work out and come together-- perfectly, in fact. We have a plan. I am going to pull our oldest from his 5-year old preschool class here in North Carolina next fall. We are going to start homeschooling then instead. Ive spent the afternoon updating our move notebook. Ive been reading some blogs about what power school will be like. We started re-working our summer plans that were interrupted with the upcoming move. This week Im going to set up our HHG move.

It came together so perfectly that I wish I played it cool like my husband and really handed things over to God. I think I tell myself this every time we move (this is our 3rd PCS), but next time Im not going to stress out so much.

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I love vinegar water. My mom used it as a cleaner when we were growing up and so the smell brings back memories of my childhood home. Ive always kept a spray bottle of vinegar water in our home. I have used it for a bunch of small cleaning tasks, but it hasnt been until our most recent move that I have started using it for all my cleaning needs. (Probably because up until we moved to South Carolina I had a housekeeper... read "Domestic goddess"). I want to say what prompted our shift to vinegar water is how environmentally friendly it is, but thats not true. What prompted the switch is how easy it is to make and how inexpensive it is.

What kind of cleaning products did I used to use? I used to use the Swiffer Wet Jet, but you have to buy the Swiffer Wet Jet Cleaner Refills and the Swiffer Wet Jet Spray Mop Cleaner Pad Refills, not to mention have the Swiffer Wet Jet Mop. I also had the Swiffer Dust Mop (needs the Swiffer Sweeper Dry Sweeping Cloths). We had the Swiffer Duster (needs the Swiffer Duster Refills) and the Clorox Toilet Wand with Storage Caddy (needs the Clorox Toilet Wand Refills). Plus we relied a lot on Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. The most offensive of all these cleaners (save for the waste from all these other cleaners) was my Clorox Bleach. We had these cleaners as well: Clorox Anywhere Hard Surface Cleaner, Soft Scrub, and Windex.

When we moved to South Carolina and I started doing all our house cleaning, I couldnt believe how much waste was leaving our house each week. I switched from all the Swiffer products to the O Cedar ProMist System, using vinegar water as the cleaning solution. I also bought the O Cedar Dual Action Dust Mop. I bought these at Target and picked up a couple extra cleaning cloths for them at the same time-- no throwing out, just wash and reuse. I switched from all the other cleaners to Method cleaners.

I still felt like I had a lot of waste and chemicals. Our toddlers are at the age where they want to "help" with everything and imitate everything they see Momma doing. Childproof locks and off-limit areas dont always prevent them from finding cleaners that should be well out of their reach. So I threw out almost all our harsh chemicals and switched almost exclusively to vinegar water. I kept some Method cleaners and put them in a box up on a high shelf in our laundry room. But there were cleaners I just couldnt bear to part with: our Clorox Toilet Wands and my Clorox Bleach.

Switching to vinegar water prompted a huge shift in our thinking. I buy a ginormous jug of distilled vinegar and mix this with water in a spray bottle. I use the vinegar water to clean our bathrooms (including the shower and outside of the toilet), the kitchen, our floors, our highchairs, and for detailing our vehicle (car seat buckles, car toys, center consoles, cup holders-- not the leather or our WeatherTech Floor Mats). I even use it as a dusting solution: spray a little on a dust cloth and send my toddlers to work dusting our house. I love that I can leave this cleaner under our kitchen sink and bathroom sinks with no worries. Not that I want our toddlers wandering around our house spraying everything down with vinegar water, but it cant hurt them! Even better, I never run out. Spray bottle empty? Grab one of my giant jugs of vinegar and fill it up right then and there. I love that convenience. No more shopping lists with dust mop refills, Clorox Wipes, on and on and on. No more gearing myself up for a cleaning day only to find out that I am out of bathroom cleaner.

(Dont care for the scent of vinegar? Try My Merry Messy Lifes recipe for Homemade Citrus-Infused Vinegar.)

I started thinking about how wonderful it would be for all our household cleaners to be this convenient. What if I could mix up laundry detergent whenever I ran out? What if I could make our own hand soap refills? What if whenever I ran out of something, I just needed to make a quick trip to our laundry room to whip up a new batch? Also, what if all these cleaners were environmentally friendly and non-toxic? What if I started saving money doing all this? I spent a lot of time Googling. I didnt want to switch from my beloved Tide Pods to something equally as horrible for the environment and my kids (OxiClean). I wanted to find ingredients I could use across the board for my cleaners.

Then I stumbled across my new favorite blog: "My Merry Messy Life," specifically her Green and Natural Cleaning Recipes and Buying Guide. Yesterday my husband and I started buying our materials for making our own household cleaners.

Whole Foods
Dr. Bronners Organic Castile Soap Citrus Orange, 32 oz. $15.99
Dr. Bronners Organic Castile Soap Lavender, 32 oz. $15.99
Dr. Bronners Organic Castile Soap Peppermint, 32 oz. $9.99 (on sale)
Now Essential Oils Lemongrass, 1 oz. $6.99
Now Essential Oils Lavender, 1 oz. $11.99

Total: $63.95

Ace Hardware

Arm and Hammer Super Washing Soda, 55 oz. $4.29

20 Mule Team Borax, 76 oz. $5.49

Total: $9.78

Target

(3) 1 Gallon Rubbermaid MixerMate Pitchers, $3.99 each

Total: $11.97

Amazon

3-pack of 24 oz. spray bottles $8.26

Now Essential Oils Tea Tree Oil, 4 oz. $18.00
Toilet brush with holder $12.00
Glycerin Vegetable Kosher, 32 oz. $13.47
Total: $59.72

Costco
Hydrogen Peroxide, 64 oz. $1.99

Grand Total: $215.68

Lowes does not carry Super Washing Soda or Borax, but the gal at Whole Foods recommended we try Ace Hardware (where she said they for sure carried it) or Wal Mart (where she thought they might carry it). We went with Ace Hardware where we could for sure buy it. We then went to Target; they carried Borax for about $1.50 less than Ace Hardware but didnt have Super Washing Soda. My husband feels Wal Mart probably carries both for less. Also, some of the ingredients that we bought in store are less expensive on Amazon. We wanted to make everything today, so we went with the in-store option, but next time I buy I will make sure to go with the less expensive option. The reason I bought 3 different kinds of Dr. Bronners Organic Castile Soap is to give myself some variety when making my various cleaners, same with the lavender and lemongrass essential oils. The tea tree oil was purchased for its antibacterial properties.

What are we making with these ingredients?

All these recipes are from My Merry Messy Life:

• Homemade Laundry Detergent
  (already made 2 gallons and am currently washing my second load of laundry in it!)
• Homemade Natural Fabric Stain Remover
• Homemade Toilet Bowler Cleaner (non-toxic)
• Homemade All Natural Foaming Hand Soap
• Homemade Dishwashing Detergent
• Homemade Moisturizing Baby Shampoo and Body Wash

I am really excited about her uses for hydrogen peroxide. I cannot wait to get rid of our bleach. And our Clorox Toilet Wands. We have already phased out our Clorox Wipes. I use a rag sprayed with vinegar water instead and havent looked back. Maybe one day I will make Homemade Reusable Disinfecting Wipes, but for now our system is working great. The only cleaner I havent been able to replace yet is Windex. The Method window cleaner is streaky-- not too bad for bathroom mirrors but horrible for the windshields in our vehicles.

My husband is super excited about the economics of switching to our own homemade cleaners. Yes, we spent all this money up front, but to make the homemade laundry detergent I used 1/2 cup of the Borax, 1/2 cup of the Super Washing Soda, 3/4 cup of the lavender Dr. Bronners Organic Castile Soap, and a little over 20 drops from the lavender essential oil. I hardly put a dent in our supplies and it made 2 gallons of laundry detergent! If you read My Merry Messy Lifes posts with the recipes, she includes the math of how much it cost her per ounce to make and how much it costs per ounce to buy the conventional products. Also, all the ingredients we bought are used in all these other recipes. While my husband keeps a close eye on the bottom line for our family budget, I focus on convenience. Being pregnant with our fourth and a stay-at-home homeschooling mom, I like when things are easy. It took roughly 10 minutes from start to finish to make the laundry detergent; how much easier can it get? I can tell you that was 100% easier than dragging all the kids to Costco! For once, my husband and I are in firm agreement on something-- homemade is the way to go for us! :)

The last point that my husband and I love about all these homemade cleaners is that they are non-toxic. While, thankfully, our children have never eaten anything life threatening, we have needed to call poison control several times in our 5-years of parenting. It is such a comfort to know that we have safe products in our home, the reason why my mom used vinegar water as my siblings and I grew up. I know that Borax raises eyebrows on the "green" blogs, but I have done some reading and for now we are using it. I like that My Messy Life includes links for more information on Borax and I also found this blog post helpful when making our decision: Crunchy Bettys post, "Getting to the Bottom of Borax: Is it Safe or Not?" Of course there is a lot you can read Googling the topic, but I found those 2 posts to be very informative.

UPDATE ON HOUSEHOLD CLEANERS:

I have been getting a lot of questions about our homemade household cleaners. Here are a few:

1. What do you do about the vinegar smell?

First of all, the vinegar smell doesnt bother me, at all. I dont really measure the vinegar and water when mixing it into a spray pump or our floor mop. For the spray mop, I do put in more vinegar than for just our everyday spray pump (read the above post to find out what I use the vinegar water to clean). I find the vinegar smell dissipates quickly and, as I said, it doesnt bother me.

If it bothers you, check out these recipes for citrus smelling vinegar: My Merry Messy Lifes Homemade Citrus Infused Vinegar or The Busy Moms Homemade All-Purpose Citrus Spray.

2. I like the idea of making my own non-toxic, biodegradable cleaners, but do they actually, you know, clean?

Short answer: yes, they do. I would suggest researching some of the properties you are unsure of, like vinegar, baking soda, super washing soda, citric acid, or borax. My Merry Messy Life has really turned me on to Dr. Bronners Organic Castile Soap. Our homemade foaming handsoap is way better than the store bought foaming handsoap refills. I have very dry skin (genetics and washing my hands all the time with potty training twins!) and the homemade foaming handsoap is so moisturizing!

3. Okay, but what about the laundry detergent? How does that clean?

My Merry Messy Lifes laundry detergent recommends 1/3 cup detergent per load. I have been using:

• a little less than 1/3 on very small loads
• 1/3 cup on small/normal loads
• a heavy 1/3 cup on normal loads
• a really heavy 1/3 cup for large/normal loads
• 2/3 cup on large loads.

When I was shopping for ingredients, the gal at Whole Foods told me that many of her homemade laundry detergents made her clothes dingy. I have had a similar experience with previously sampled homemade laundry detergents and store bought biodegradable detergents, so I upped the borax in my detergent (heavy 1/2 cup compared to the 1/2 cup called for in the recipe). Ive also been careful to separate our laundry into brights (color), whites, and darks; washing like colors together has really been working. Ive also been much more proactive about stains, rinsing them out when the boys take their clothes off to change into pajamas and not letting dirty clothes sit in the hamper. Big changes around here! Ive actually been staying on top of our laundry. ;)

As a former Tide Pod user, I have not noticed a difference between our laundry washed with Tide Pods and our laundry washed with our homemade cleaners and neither has my husband.

4. How long does it take to make your own detergent and cleaning products? I dont think I would be able to stay on top of that.

Im a homeschooling stay-at-home mother to a preschooler and toddler twins with our fourth baby on the way, not to mention a Navy wife. I thrive on convenient. The detergent seriously took 10 minutes start to finish, including set up and clean up. Making vinegar water requires popping open my jug of vinegar, pouring it into my spray bottle or floor mop, and pouring water on top. I have a funnel for making the other cleaners and all my cleaning materials are kept in the same bin in my laundry room. I grab my Pyrex mixing cup, my funnel, and whip up my next batch. Sound easy? It is. If you compare it to a shopping trip with kids, it is almost perfect (it would be even better if magic cleaning elves popped out of the homemade cleaners and did the actual cleaning!).

5. How much did all this cost?

I love that on all the homemade cleaner recipes My Merry Messy Life includes a price breakdown when comparing her formerly used store bought cleaning products with her homemade cleaning products. Check out her price breakdowns! We essentially started from scratch when we started making our own cleaning products. I had to buy a toilet brush because I didnt own one; we had always used Clorox Toilet Wands. I also bought gallon jugs to hold our detergent since we only used Tide Pods before. I think My Merry Messy Life reuses her old laundry detergent jugs. We have hardly put a dent in the supplies I listed in the above blog post.

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Now that my husband has completed power school, I have been wanting to write a blog post on the experience from my perspective. I have found that the blog "(Very) Unofficial Submarine Officer Pipeline Rundown" has been useful during our trek through the pipeline.

My husband went through power school and prototype when he first joined the Navy, before I met him. This was his second time going through power school, last time enlisted, this time officer. I think he had an idea of what to expect from power school, but I had no idea... The blog post "Navy Nuclear Power School Rundown" helped some and from conversations with my husband I knew there would be long hours studying. However, living something is very different than hearing about it.

So what can you expect from power school?

First of all, there are some long, long, long, long hours. Long hours with no cell phones since they cannot bring their cell phones into the school house. If you have to get a hold of him, you call the duty phone and, if it is after school hours, you better know where he studies or they may or may not find him for you in a timely manner.

The other hard thing is that the school hours are not actually very long. Some days start earlier, like the PT days, but for the most part the school hours were fairly reasonable, like 7 am to 3:30 pm/4:30 pm. What makes the day so long is all the study hours. Some guys are required to study a certain amount of hours each week; some have goals of where they want to rank in the class and so they study an insane amount of time to reach that goal; some study and study and study just so they feel comfortable with the material and confident for the next test; some put more time in on certain days so that they can put in less time on other days. All of this was hard for me because it took us awhile to figure out a schedule that worked for us. When my husband felt done studying, he wanted to leave school and come home to relax and take a break. He would come home unexpectedly, play outside with the kids, stay for dinner, and then want to leave when he was ready to head back-- except I was pregnant and the kids were all riled up from playing with Daddy, the kitchen was covered in dinner dishes, and bath time was still 2 hours away! I also really disliked when he would come home for a break, head back in for awhile, and then come home shortly after I put the kids to bed. I loved having some one on one time with him, but, man, the days were so long and I could really have used his help putting the boys down instead of him showing up half hour after they were sleeping! It took us awhile, but we eventually found a schedule that worked for us. I completely understood that sometimes he just needed a break from studying and he completely understood how frustrating it was for him to come home each night just after I had put all the kids to bed by myself. Since my husband is a more of a morning person, he started waking up early and studying before school when he was freshest, finishing his homework after school, and then coming home for the evening. On days when felt he needed to study more, he would bathe the kids and put them in pajamas while I cleaned up the kitchen. That way I just needed to read stories before putting the kids to bed. It was a routine that worked for us. There were also a lot of times that he needed to study on the weekends. Figuring out a time on the weekends took us awhile too. We thought we would like getting studying out of the way early in the day, but it ended up working out that I was waking up by myself with the kids 7 days a week and feeling burnt out. If he had a lot of studying he needed to do, he would wake up early and go in. If he just needed to study some, he would head in after breakfast so we could all eat together and have some face time with him. Going in for 4 hours on a weekend morning after breakfast worked better for us than going in for 4 hours before we woke up. It really did take us awhile to figure out what worked best for us.

The other thing that was different for us is that we were more of the exception at power school. A lot of people in his class were newly married or dating. There were a handful of people with kids and most of them had 1, maybe 2, kids. Often, if 2 kids, they were pregnant with the second. I was pregnant with our 4th child and my husband was STA-21. Sometimes I felt awkward making friends and getting together with other couples was a bit challenging at first. When we were invited to our first backyard barbecue with friends of ours that were newly married, we were so excited and nervous. We really wanted it to go well so we would be "accepted" by these couples-- amazingly enough, it went awesome! The kids were so well behaved. We hung out at their house until just after 9 pm-- big for our boys that fall asleep at 8 pm on the dot. My husband and I high fived each other as we walked home that night! Turns out we didnt have anything to worry about. Once the ice was broken, we easily made friends with other couples in the class. However, I have noticed that the other people in his class-- dating, newly married, single-- really have explored the area much more than we have. When he was gone in class all day long, my pregnant self was tired by the time he came home and really looking forward to a quiet, family dinner at home, not battling traffic to try a hole in the wall downtown. When he had time off on the weekends, we eventually took advantage of nearby beaches and found some family restaurants, but often he was catching up on time that he had missed during his busy week-- playing basketball with the boys, working on his woodworking projects, golfing with our oldest, movie nights with me, Costco trips... So, like the guy said in the (Very) Unofficial Submarine Officer Pipeline Rundown, "Being one of the few married guys in my particular class, I didnt get out much. But most of my fellow classmates went out quite a bit."

Since my husband was STA-21, we had just come from him going through college. I thought getting a mechanical engineering degree in 3 years with a family-- having twins during finals week to boot-- would help prepare us for power school. On some level, yes, it did. I know my husbands study style and I know that studying is important for him. However, it was nice when he was in college to have the option for him to study at home. There is no option for him to study at home in power school since all the materials are classified and must be locked up each night at the school house. Power school was very different than college. It was a fast, intense, whirlwind. I was immensely looking forward to his graduation and I know he was too. He was mentally exhausted by the time power school was over and I was well over the power school schedule.

Another question for me was the power school graduation. I didnt know how formal it would be, if I could bring the kids, yadda yadda. It turned out to be just the right degree of formal. I probably could have managed the toddlers there, but I was very grateful that we had a baby-sitter to watch them, especially since I was exceedingly pregnant by that point. We all got to dress nice. They made it very family friendly, inviting people to approach the stage when your sailors class was called so you could take pictures. It was outdoors, so people were wandering the back with their children. They had restrooms and snacks. My husband insisted that he wanted me to go-- I was planning on staying home since I was so pregnant-- and I was glad I listened to him and went. I had worried I would be uncomfortable on the chairs for that long, but the ceremony clipped right along. I got some great pictures of him graduating. I had a snack. I could take our oldest to the restroom. If you are wondering what to wear to the graduation, think Easter Sunday without all the pastels. :)

All in all, I am glad power school is over. It was only 6 months, but the school was exhausting for my husband and for us. There were some bonuses, like if I gave him warning, he could plan on coming home early to watch the kids so I could make an appointment-- things like that.

Now that power school is over, we have prototype and SOBC to look forward to!

How was your experience going through power school as a Navy spouse?

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Ive received several emails and Facebook comments lately regarding homeschooling preschool. I wrote a post called "Homeschooling 5-year old preschool." I feel 5-year old preschool was different from his previous years of preschool because he was technically old enough to be a kindergartner, but we decided against doing kindergarten that year. Instead we did another year of preschool with him, just with a more focused direction; he is a child that loves order, structure, and routine.

When considering preschool, there are many different schools of thought. Some really focus on early learning and some focus on play based learning and some on "unschooling." I dont like labels, so I will just describe our thinking when it comes to preschool. I think preschool should be fun. I think it should be play based learning. I think that preschool should focus on character building and how to interact with others. I think it should build a childs confidence and get them excited about learning. Preschool should incorporate the fundamentals of learning-- ABCs, 123s, shapes-- in a fun, play based environment. I referenced this article in my last post on kindergarten, Simple Homeschools "The truth about preschool." That article entirely sums up my thoughts on preschool.

When our oldest was 4-years old we put him in a church preschool program. At that time, our twins were keeping me very busy and I felt like I needed him in something that helped him with his desire for a routine. The program was great. I was surprised, however, at how hard it was to find a preschool program that didnt have a curriculum or focus on subjects. One preschool even had math worksheets-- excessive! We eventually found a program that worked for us-- play based, focusing on character development, interacting with others, and fostering their independence. It was a great program for him and I got a lot of great ideas from it for how I want to homeschool. I really loved how the teachers merged play with learning. When we moved from North Carolina, I was sad to leave the school because I was planning on having him attend their 5-year old preschool program.

One thing that I do not miss about preschool is the preschool schedule. (Yes, I wrote a whole blog post on it, "Preschool schedule.") After we moved last year and were doing 5-year old preschool, we had a lot of hits to our daily routine and by the end of the year we didnt have too much of a daily routine. I had several things on our schedule each week, like a park playdate and storytime, but the middle of the day was often chaotic. Mealtimes slipped into snacktimes; naptimes became movie times on the coach while I napped. The joys of my husbands power school schedule and pregnancy! By the beginning of the summer I was ready to have my body back (being pregnant in the south in the summer is not ideal) and ready for a regular routine. I debated over the summer if I should try to sign the boys up for drop-off camps over the summer, but not knowing if my husband was going to start prototype early in the summer (he didnt) and the unknowns of our routine once baby #4 came prevented me from committing to any day camps. The memory of how inconvenient pick ups and drops were in our day for his 4-year old preschool year is still fresh in my mind. Ive loved that homeschooling happens at our kitchen table, sometimes in pajamas and sometimes over pancakes-- no interruptions to our schedule!

So the big question: what are we doing for preschool this year? What materials are we using for preschool?

To answer the first question, we are doing what we normally do for preschool this year-- life as usual. I didnt have our oldest in a preschool program at 3-years old. I dont plan on putting our toddlers in a preschool program this year. Our big plan for preschool this year is to incorporate their learning in our daily life. I do involve them in some of our homeschool day. If you read the blog post, "Homeschooling kindergarten," I explain that I have all 3 boys say the Pledge of Allegiance, pray for our day, listen to our Bible story, read a poem together and act it out, and do the calendar each day. They are involved in that because that is what Im doing with their older brother for kindergarten. To answer the second question, I have not bought them any special preschool materials and dont use any curriculum with them, not even the Saxon Math book that I used for 5-year old preschool and no special books.

This year with the toddlers we are really focusing on independence. If they want to wear socks, they must put them on. I will help them if they are truly stuck, but they must try first. We problem solve. "If your sock isnt going when you pull it on that way, why not try a different way?" We focus on cleaning up the mess they make. "That was really fun to play with the cars and trucks. Now we get to put them away! How about you start on the cars and then do the trucks?" I help them break down the mess in their mind so they are able to tackle it-- clean up the cars, then clean up the trucks. Once the big toys are put away, they are able to pick up all the smaller action figures quite easily. I involve them in making lunch and baked goods. We work on taking our time and doing things right, "Can you carefully pour the sugar in the mixing bowl?" We work on them following directions, even when it is hard, "Before you go outside, lets get the family room tidied up, please." A big one that has been challenging for all 3 of them is assisting others, which teaches sympathy. "Your brother is sad. Why dont you go ask him what is bothering him and see if you can help?" "I think your brother is having a hard time cleaning up his mess. Why dont you go see what you do can to help him?" Most of the time I hear, "But I didnt make that mess!" Im really surprised at how they have responded to this last one. Im hearing them more and more slow down to help each other out, "Whats wrong, brother?" and I love their sense of pride and camaraderie once the job is done, "I helped him put away his blocks! We were a team!" "He helped me! Thank you, brother!" We put a lot of emphasis on waiting your turn. "Excuse me, your brother wasnt done telling his story. Lets let him finish and then I would love to hear what you have to say." I love Emma Jenners book, Keep Calm and Parent On, for setting expectations on our kids.

The other things we are learning through our everyday life-- shapes, ABCs, and 123s. We read about them in our stories before nap and before bed. We talk about them as we do art, make cookies, go to the park. We talk about colors. We do puzzles. We do all this stuff for fun. We just play and I bring in the learning, drawing their attention to something they are naturally connecting. "My blanket is the same color as a fire truck." Well, what color is the fire truck?

I mentioned in my blog post "Homeschooling kindergarten" that later this year I will have them start memorizing memory verses. This is something that we have been doing with our oldest since he was 3-years old. We used the verses he was learning at AWANAS, which we have not been able to fit into our schedule last year or this year, and discussed them throughout the day. I love memorizing Bible verses with the kids because I feel that it teaches lots of things. We write the verse down and will point to it as we say it-- it teaches words have meaning. When they see the memory verse card, they often start recognizing letters, "Thats an A, Momma!" They see the letters outside of their alphabet books and puzzles and start looking for them everywhere, "Momma, I see another A!" I also love that it helps them learn to retain things I teach them. The other thing about memory verses is that choosing key verses helps teach them things about their own behavior and Gods character. We learn to forgive because God forgives. We learn to examine our own actions, was I being fair to my brother? We learn to say Im sorry without prompting from a parent. Right now we talk about their older brothers memory verses and we use various phrases when dealing with conflict with each other, "Was that a kind thing to do to your brother? Do you think that made him feel happy or sad?" "How do you think we could show your dad we love him when he comes home?"

Next year our toddlers will do another year of preschool. They will be 4-years old at the beginning of the year and turn 5-years old during the year. I will probably start some of the methods that I used doing 5-year old preschool with their older brother. We will do letters of the week or colors of the week. Preschoolers love show and tell. During Red Week, Ill have them show and tell us about something red. During "A" week, Ill have them show and tell us about something that starts with an A. Ill probably use our Saxon Math K book again. Ive liked Saxon Math because the scripts are there to help explain something if you want them. I also like that it completely explains a certain activity, like introducing them to money or manipulating linking cubes or using counting bears. I like the Math K book because it was a great resource for me to find ideas for an activity if I needed help coming up with some sort of lesson for the day. I could open up Saxon Math K, read a lesson that involved counting bears, pull out the counting bears and say, "Okay, lets play with these for awhile." Then I could guide the play in a way that taught the lesson. That is how I most often used the book-- getting ideas, reading the scripts, and then applying it in a way that fit our preschool technique.

I really like unit studies for preschool. One unit study we did last year was on water. We just talked a lot about water. What happens if we get water really hot? What happens if we get water really cold? What letters are in the word water? What makes letter makes a "whu-" sound? Where do we find water? What animals live in water? Lets read books that have water in them. What movies have water in it? What do we call water that comes from the sky? What is water good for? On and on and on... So many fun experiments and lessons you can do in a unit study. Library trips. Movies. Books. Unit studies are great too because it really lets the preschoolers imagination run wild and lets them ask questions and find answers. (Unit studies are also a great way to include kids of different ages!)

How do you keep preschool fun?

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