intentional weight loss during pregnancy

Here is my follow-up post on my partial molar pregnancy. All in all, I had the best possible outcome with a molar pregnancy: no complications and my numbers went down quickly.

Things Ive heard a lot of throughout this whole process:

• "At least it happened early in the pregnancy."
• "At least you have 3 healthy boys to focus on."
• "You can try again soon."
• "Im sure those complications wont happen to you; dont worry about it."
• "My friend who miscarried just gave birth to a beautiful baby."

Sometimes it felt like as soon as I talked about the molar pregnancy or answered questions about what a molar pregnancy is, people would rush to assure me that it was all going to be fine or not to worry about it or that we will get pregnant soon. While talking with my doctor, he told me that the chances of me having the more serious complications of a partial molar pregnancy (read "Molar pregnancy") were very low because of how quickly my numbers went to negative, so I also felt that my chances of relapsing were slim to none. Honestly, I dont know what I wanted people to say. And I know that people were just trying to let me know that they love me and want the best for me, that they worry about me and didnt want me to have to go through anything more. I knew that they were trying to give me hope. I guess I liked it best when someone would just say, "Oh, man, Im sorry you are going through this. Ill be praying things keep getting better for you." The comments of "youll get pregnant again soon" felt like people wanted me to stop grieving over the loss of this pregnancy, this baby, and to move on. Sometimes I just felt down about the whole situation and didnt know what I wanted to hear. Whatever people say though, Im still always happier when someone says something to me about it instead of ignoring it. Grief is hard to manage and often made me feel like I was pushing people away.

I had a hard time moving on from this pregnancy loss. We had gone through an unexpected pregnancy loss before (this partial molar pregnancy was my 4th pregnancy; I miscarried our 1st pregnancy as well) and it was hard then. On one hand, having my 3 beautiful boys was an absolute blessing. They did keep me busy and they did remind me of the beauty in life, the fun in the everyday. They relaxed me and kept my hands busy. On the other hand, it was hard to find time to grieve. I didnt feel that I had time to throw myself into the emotions I was feeling and that sometimes I had to push them to the side. Maybe that is why the grieving process took longer. I do also think that the uncertainty of the next couple years played a big role as well (my husband is in the Navy, read "Asthma, STA-21, commissioning, and PCSing-- yikes!"). I kept thinking, "Oh, this was perfect timing to have a baby. What if I get pregnant before he has to leave? What if I get pregnant and we are moving during my due date? What if I dont like my next OBGyn?"

It took me awhile to realize all the pressure I was putting on myself over something that I couldnt change. It was ridiculous. I didnt like hearing from people, "You need to give yourself time to heal," when I told them about this wait period with the blood draws, but I realized I do. I wouldnt be happy if we rushed into the next pregnancy and miscarried. During my mono/di twin pregnancy (read "Identical or fraternal [revised]"), one of my big rules, because it was high risk, was, if I went into premature labor, would I regret an activity/food/drink/etc? If the answer was yes, I didnt do the activity, like take the walk or finish the chore list or eat the cold cuts for lunch. (I hate the no cold cuts during pregnancy rule. Since when is that a thing??) The risk had to outweigh the benefit. For this partial molar pregnancy, the risk of rushing things did not outweigh the benefit. Our timeline of moving and my husbands Navy schedule will sort itself out. And, in all honesty, this timing of our partial molar pregnancy wasnt exactly perfect either. We are moving across state lines in less than a week and my due date for the partial molar pregnancy was September 9th. I would either be super pregnant right now, stressing about all the things that needed to get done for our move, or nursing a newborn, since Ive never made it to my due date, even with our singleton.

The thing that has been getting me down as we get ready to move is never going to my OBGyn again. When we got pregnant this last time, I was very excited that when all was said and done, I would have given birth to 3 kids in the same state, a big feat for a Navy family. I would have also used the same OBGyn for 2 pregnancies. I liked the idea of having the same doctors and saying, "Oh, last time Doctor P was just wonderful; Im so glad he could deliver us this time as well." The only consistency in my history with OBGyns I have is having a pregnancy and a miscarriage at the same practice. My first pregnancy (miscarriage) and my second pregnancy (singleton) was at the same OBGyn practice; my third pregnancy (mono/di twins) and my fourth pregnancy (miscarriage/partial molar) was at the same OBGyn.

Im also dreading passing the due date. My husband says to not worry about it and let it go. I know he means well and I know this whole thing has been hard on him as well (he was sooo worried about me when we got the diagnosis). I just dont seem to be able to. I cant believe how much time has passed. From our first questionable ultrasound at the end of January to now, August. My positive pregnancy test was at the end of 2012-- time is marching forward. It is much easier said than done to not focus on the passage of time. My friends who were pregnant at the same time as me are all giving birth to their babies. Other friends have announced their pregnancies. My heart fills with joy for them; I know many of them have also struggled with infertility, pregnancy loss, and complicated or high risk pregnancies. Im not begrudging any of them. Just seeing their pregnancies come to fruition reminds me of where I "should be" in my pregnancy-- definitely something I have struggled to let go of. There are also smaller things, like commercials on TV that made us laugh when I was pregnant, "Oh, thats going to be us," or whatever we said. Now I see them and am reminded of how excited I was about the pregnancy and how excited our oldest was to be a big brother again.

This update has taken me awhile to write because the feelings were so raw for so long. Now Im honestly at a much better spot. Occasionally my heartstrings are pulled, like with the approaching due date, but the constant longing when I see a pregnant belly has died down. I remember the first couple blood draw appointments, taken at my OBGyn office, were really hard. I would sit in the waiting room and try not to look at the pregnant women checking in or struggling to lower themselves in those waiting room chairs (pregnant bellies are so cumbersome). I remember this one gal who was standing in line with her hand resting on her tummy; I thought the baby was kicking and she was feeling the little movements. I miss feeling that, in spite of how miserable carrying a pregnancy actually was for me. Now I dont feel my cheeks flush when confronted with a pregnant belly and I dont automatically calculate the weeks I "should be" when I look at my calendar. I dont feel on the verge of tears when our oldest asks when we are going to have another baby or tells me how much he wants a little sister; I can easily talk to him and answer his questions.

So now Im cleared to TTC, as many online forums call it (Try To Conceive). Whenever we get pregnant again, I will have close monitoring during the first trimester to make sure that Im not carrying another molar pregnancy. The molar pregnancy is behind us, but, as every woman who has experienced pregnancy loss in one form or another, it will never be forgotten. Two miscarriages, one of them being a molar pregnancy, has definitely made my husband and I nervous when it comes to certainty in our positive pregnancy tests. No, we are not pregnant now, but we recently discussed our feelings going forward. I was surprised to find that both he and I had the same feelings toward our next pregnancy. We are excited to be able to try again, though nervous. Nervous to experience all of this again, nervous at the possibility of miscarrying, nervous at the uncertainty of pregnancy and the heartbreak of loss. I think he feels much more like he doesnt want to get his hopes up whenever we find out we are pregnant again. I feel much more like I dont want to lose another baby. Its funny how men and women view things so differently. Ive learned through this whole thing that sometimes he words things differently than I would and that he views things differently than I do; however, his love is deep and strong and he felt the loss as well. He is my best friend and Im thankful for him everyday.

Heres to hoping!

My other blog posts on my molar pregnancy:

"Miscarriage"

"Molar pregnancy"

"The bake queen"

"3 weeks, 3 months"

"Time wont let me go"

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weight loss during early pregnancy normal

The sage continues. We are now potty training both our toddlers.

You can check out my previous potty training posts here:

• Potty training twins: Part 1 {No plan}
• Potty training twins: Part 2 {The next step}

Weve been potty training one of our toddlers, C, for 22 days now. His twin brother decided this past weekend that he wanted to potty train as well. We are on day 5 of potty training O. The first couple days of potty training both toddlers were crazy. It almost felt like C regressed some when O started potty training. In my previous posts, we were considering potty training C for overnight. We arent exactly sure of the approach we want to take on nights right now. Both toddlers are waking up with somewhat wet diapers-- not really, really wet, but still a little wet. Here are the three options Im considering for potty training them on nights:

1. Training underwear and waterproof training pants.
I feel like this is the most aggressive approach, the one to really get them to potty train overnight. I used these Gerber All in One Waterproof Training Pants with our oldest son, D, when we potty trained him. When wearing the Gerber Training Pants underneath these, they are pretty waterproof. A child can have an accident in these and it will hold really well. I like this combination because it really lets the child feel wet. I feel like pull ups are basically diapers and so there isnt too much incentive for the child not to treat it like a diaper. These Gerber training pants feel like underwear and so they arent comfortable to be wet in. I would also do the mattress trick I mentioned in "Potty training twins: Part 2 {The next step}."
Downside to this option: waking up in the night if they feel wet to change training pants; waking up in the morning to change training pants to regular underwear (which I do now from diapers to underwear).

2. Pull ups
I feel like this might be the easiest option. If I do this, there is a good chance that they will keep sleeping through the night when they use the pull up. In theory, they could also pull up and down the pull up in the morning when they need to use the restroom, perhaps even if they wake up in the night and need to use the restroom. I really feel like, even if I decide to go with the first option, I will probably start with pull ups first and then move to the Gerber training pants after they are even better about waking up dry.
Downside to this option: we go from buying Target diapers at $24.99 for 138 to pull ups at $19.99 for 52. The nice thing about the Gerber training pants is that they are reusable and washable; you have to keep buying pull ups.

3. Diapers
This is what we are doing for nights now. When they wake up in the morning, they run to the restroom and I change them from a diaper to underwear. Sometimes this is at 6:45 am, sometimes at 7:30 am. They sometimes wake up shortly after we put them to bed demanding to use the restroom, but never in the middle of the night. I dont feel they are necessarily learning to potty train nights this way and they throw a fit every evening when we change them into their pajamas and diaper, "I wear underwear, Momma!" The Target brand diapers, while we have generally been happy with them after switching from Pampers, dont have the best Velcro on the side. Once you pull apart the Velcro to allow the child to use the restroom, it doesnt stick back together well. Taking on and off the diaper to allow the child to use the restroom generally means changing his diaper as well, regardless of how dry it may be. Im kind of feeling like we need to do something else than diapers.
Downside to this option: we are almost out of diapers, so I would need to head on over to Target to buy another box of diapers.

We havent made up our mind yet on what we want to do for nights. I mentioned it before, but Im dreading the idea of giving up sleep. At 22-weeks pregnant, the last thing I want to be doing right now is wake up in the middle of the night to change sheets and give quick baths. That is why I think we will switch-- next week (ever the procrastinator)-- from diapers to pull ups, try it out for a week or two, and then move up to the Gerber Training Pants option if it is going well. Otherwise, I think we will linger in pull ups. (This is kind of a big deal for me to be considering pull ups as I swore up and down when potty training our oldest that I would never buy pull ups! Ah, motherhood... you end up eating words so often.)

Before we started potty training O, C really had potty training under his belt. Very, very few accidents. He had reached the "rebellious stage" of potty training: "Okay, Ive got this. Now Im going to see what I can get away with." He wasnt very happy the day he told us that he was going to use his underwear as a diaper and then did-- only to be confronted with consequences instead of treats or "Its okay." We didnt always have a change of clothes with us when we left the house, because he was so reliable. Wed left him with a sitter; wed run errands all day; wed visited friends houses and the like. If he was doing nights, I would have considered him potty trained. And then we started potty training O. The first day of potty training O passed uneventfully. The second day, Cs potty training went out the window. Not sure what happened. O only had one accident, but C had 3 or 4, very surprising to my husband and me because we had started thinking of him as very reliable and trustworthy in underwear. We had mini panic attacks. Are we starting over at square one with C? Are we doing something wrong?

The other problem we had was the treats were well out of hand. Anytime anyone used the bathroom in the house-- myself, my husband, our oldest son, one of the toddlers-- one of the toddlers would leap up and have to use the restroom. They were getting to the point of producing a drop or two just for treats constantly. I wrote in the blog post "Potty training twins: Part 2 {The next step}" that we were out of treats by noon. I was constantly in the bathroom telling the toddlers to stop playing in the sink, stopping playing by the toilet, asking them if they actually had to go potty, perpetually bombarded with demands for "Treats! Momma, treats!" It was ridiculous. If one toddler used the bathroom, the other would as well. So the first toddler would genuinely have to go potty. I would help him in the bathroom, wash his hands, come out and do treats, only for the second toddler to see the first toddler get treats, run to the bathroom, have me help him wash hands, come out and get a treat, for the first toddler to dash back in the bathroom... Constantly, constantly, constantly. Our system wasnt working.

So what does every logical woman do when faced with a tough problem? Call her mother. My mom said we needed to do away with treats for every time they use the restroom-- totally agree. I printed off a sticker chart for both of them, each a table I made on Microsoft Word. The table has 5 rows and 8 columns. The first row lists the days of the week in each column: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and a special column for Week. The next four rows are for stickers. If they go the entire day without an accident in their underwear, they get a sticker and a special treat (O got a cookie his first day without an accident and last night they both had their pick from the leftover Valentines Day candy). If they go the entire week without an accident (a concept they havent grasped yet and we havent fully explained yet-- we will when we actually have a weeks worth of stickers on the chart), they get a very special treat, like a bowl of ice cream or something.

Happy toddlers celebrating getting stickers on their potty training charts

I think it was because we had just started potty training O, but he caught on to this system very quickly. The first day we implemented this (day 3 of Os potty training), he was on board. He went the whole day without an accident. C did not catch on the first day. This was during his potty training regression after we started potty training O, and he deliberately had 2 accidents that day. That evening when we were putting a sticker on Os potty training chart, not intentionally in front of him, just with O to celebrate going a whole day, something with C clicked. The next day, C told me first thing in the morning, "I not have accidents today. I get sticker and treat." O piped in, "Me too!" And they did-- they went all day without any accidents. We spent a long morning/early afternoon picnicking at the park and they had no accidents. (I gave them each a small treat when we got home for being dry the whole time and for using the potty once we got home. They celebrated, "Yay! Dry at park!") They both took a long afternoon nap and were dry the whole time during their nap. When they woke up, we went to dinner and ran an errand all together as a family. I was so glad my hubby was there. When we pulled into the gas station, O yells, "Have to go potty!" He took O in to the bathroom. While he was in there, C says, "Have to go potty, Momma!" I pumped the gas and told C he had to wait. When my husband came out of the gas station, he went back in with C while I buckled O up in the car seat.

I havent entirely taken away treats. I generally give them a treat for performing the larger functions in the restroom. Out of all the accidents they could have in their underwear, pooping is the least pleasant to clean up and so I feel it should be amply rewarded for being done properly in the toilet. They seem satisfied when I tell them they dont get a treat every time they go potty in the toilet. I try to emphasize that they need to do go all day without an accident. Our oldest will always add, "Or if you go poop!" That has produced several small functions in the toilet for which the toddlers demand a treat, "Tiny poop, Momma! Treat!" Overall though, the treat system is far less abused as we are doing it now than when we were freely handing out treats every time either of them used the restroom. I also try to hand out surprise treats so they feel rewarded and noticed during the day for their efforts. I gave a treat yesterday for going the entire park playdate without any accidents. Ive given treats for running errands and using the potty while we are out. I just try to keep them small and casual, not make them feel like they are entitled to a treat every time they do this. After all, potty training really is something they should learn at one point or another to do without praise or compensation. I do ponder how the treat system crumbled so completely having twin toddlers potty training simultaneously. The treat system worked great potty training our singleton and when we were potty training one of our toddlers, but not potty training both of them.

This morning both the toddlers were admiring their sticker charts. They have counted up the stickers they have earned and plan on getting another sticker for today. After using the restroom an hour or two ago, one of the toddlers came in the family room and announced, "No accidents, Momma! Sticker tonight!" Im really starting to feel that some of the darker days of potty training are behind us... well, until we start nights! :)

Im sure other moms feel this way, but I am frequently reminded of Lord of the Flies by William Golding when parenting 3 children. So heres my upbeat potty training quote: “He found himself understanding the wearisomeness of this life, where every path was an improvisation and a considerable part of ones waking life was spent watching ones feet.”

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weight loss during pregnancy pictures

I sat down this morning to write a blog post on our family schedule and why routines work well for us. However, as I was typing our toddlers kept interrupting me with issue after issue.

Whining.

Whining.

Whining.

I eventually felt myself getting more and more frustrated, losing my train of thought and writing long, rambling paragraphs that lead nowhere. I saved the blog post and closed the browser.

I tried switching gears. I reached out to a fellow momma and shared my frustrations, got some support; even texting someone can help get some encouragement. I switched activities. Obviously blogging wasnt going to happen; lets color! Lets start school earlier than usual. Lets do something organized together.

I called our kindergartner back inside to do some school. He got out his school supplies. One of our toddlers started whining, unprovoked. Literally standing in the middle of the room making high-pitched whiny, screeching noises over and over again. I gave him a warning. I invited him to sit with us and to color. He persisted. I walked him to his room and told him whining was unacceptable. He started screaming and hitting the door when I closed it. I took a deep breath and prayed, "God, let me love my kids through you. Let me show them your love."

I went back to the table with the other 2 boys, a toddler and our kindergartner. We said the Pledge of Allegiance. We prayed together. I went back to get the toddler in quiet time and asked if he wanted to join us. He declined and said he was sorry for whining and that he wanted to play in the playroom. He started getting dressed in costumes. I resumed school with the other 2 boys. The toddler at the table finished coloring and said he wanted to do costumes; he cleaned up his markers and went to the playroom. Moments later the first toddler came out of the playroom whining, whining, whining. I instructed him to use his words. He was frustrated; his backpack was broken. I informed him it was upside down and that is why everything was falling out. I offered to help him. He backed away whining. He let out the high pitch screeching whine over and over and so I walked him to his room to collect himself. He whined and whined at the door. I prayed. I went back to school with the other 2. I came back awhile later to ask if he wanted to come out of his room and he threw a toy at the door. I tucked him in for a nap and told him he needed to rest. I came back to do the calendar with the other 2 boys. It went well. We did our thing and then the other toddler started whining-- expressionless, unprovoked whining. Why? I didnt know so I asked him to do his calendar job. He stood motionless whining. I gave him a warning. He whined. I escorted him to his room to rest as well.

I stood outside their door and felt the tears well up in my eyes. What am I doing wrong? Why are they constantly whining and fighting?

Yesterday we had a list of errands to run. On the actual errands, they were obedient and well behaved. They stood in line with me at the Post Office. They waited in the returns line at Costco. But as soon as we got in the car it was constant bickering-- constant bickering. Wild slapping in the direction of their brother, screeching at the top of their lungs, "NO!", yelling, whining, throwing, flailing, moaning...

Im exhausted. This behavior has been going on for over a week. Throw in there some potty training regression and the constant whining and bickering has just about drained me. I put them down to nap and they spend the entire time opening their respective doors bumming, "Can I come out now?" I wake up in the morning to the sounds of the toddlers fussing and fighting and whining and arguing in the hall bathroom. I put them to bed after listening to them fuss and fight and whine and argue all.day.long.

I go through moments where I feel confident and think, "This is a phase. I understand it is a phase. I understand that parenting is hard and that some phases are more enjoyable than other phases. I know their brains are developing. I know they have dealt with big changes from their dad starting prototype and being gone all day. I know we will come out of this okay and to focus on the positives."

And then there are other moments where I cringe at the thought of riding in the car with them and so I dont want to leave the house.

Where I think about how quickly they grow up and how one day they wont be 3-years old anymore, they will be 6-years old and I will wonder where the time went.

Where I hear other moms talk about how the toddler years are their favorite.

Where Im crying in the laundry room and texting my mom because I just dont know what else to do and I feel so alone.

Where I miss our old duty station because I had friends who were going through the same thing with me, who have kids the same age as mine, who invited us over for playdates and park dates and coffee dates.

Where I just hate spending all day long listening to them fight with each other.

Those moments I feel like a horrible parent.

I dont know why our toddlers are behaving this way. I spend a lot of time praying and asking God to extend some grace their way, to blanket me in his love so that I can show them his love, to strengthen me so that I have the energy and patience to be consistent. I read parenting books (my favorites: Keep Calm and Parent On and When Mothers Pray). I meditate on Philippians, my favorite book of the Bible. I hold on to those sweet moments with them in between the fussing and the fits. Yet I struggle because the absolute truth is that I am not enjoying myself.

Since I do not have a large friend base here, Ive been working on keeping myself busy. Ive been focusing a lot on things that I do enjoy doing-- kindergarten with our oldest, taking walks with our infant, reading by myself and with the kids, and cooking. Some of the cooking has been fun to do with the children, even the toddlers. Sometimes it goes downhill quickly and for no reason, like yesterday when one of the toddlers was helping me until he just broke down into a whining mess. Other times they get immense satisfaction from making the meal with me and will channel all their energy into the tasks I give them. I try to have them help me one at a time, stealing moments that I can give them my undivided attention and listen to what they have to say. I try to find tasks that play to their strengths so they can build their self-confidence. Ive also been trying to keep our calendar full, inviting friends on playdates, meeting up with girlfriends, doing things with my family. Having 4 children, homeschooling, and life as a Navy wife tend to keep our calendar full and so the hours of the day tend to slip by quickly anyways; I make my best effort to organize those hours in a way that works well for our boys.

This is one of those phases that I am just holding on and hoping that it passes quickly. It has been one of those phases that no matter what I try doesnt seem to make a big difference in how our day goes or how the toddlers behave. It has been one of those phases that make me wish I lived closer to my family and to my girlfriends.

How do you deal with these kind of phases?

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2 year post pregnancy weight lose

One of my good friends is doing MOPS this year and has been talking to  me about their theme: being brave as a mother. I can think of several times as a mother that I have had to be braver than I thought I could be, the first coming to mind when one of our sons was in the PICU for 4 days with RSV and there was nothing else the doctors could do for him. Since then there have been other things: asthma flare ups, injuries, sickness, late nights, solo parenting... Then there have been other times where the lines arent as clear and Im praying and praying that Im making the right choice: disciplining a 6-year old {very different than disciplining 2 and 3 year olds}, disciplining 3 children, speaking up for my parenting choices to others when Id prefer to stay silent... Last night was a new one for me: having the courage to enjoy the holiday.

It has been 4 years since my husband has been on a submarine-- 3 years of college and now going through the officer pipeline. When we first moved to North Carolina for him to start college, I was so jealous of his time. After coming from a fast attack submarine, I wasnt accustomed to him being around much. I tried to soak in every weekend, every weeknight, every time he could go to lunch with us... I wanted to do everything together and I felt panicked when our plans separated us or when we had too many plans in a weekend, even if we were doing them together. We are both homebodies and I felt like we should be home together, making the most of it.

My husband is the sweetest person I know and so loving. He eventually had a little chat with me about how much time we have together with the STA-21 program and that it is okay to enjoy life, doing things together or apart. I slowly relaxed {slowly}. I still sometimes would feel that panicked feeling in my chest if I was at a Bible Study and he was at home doing nothing {my husband is HOME and I am NOT THERE-- what am I doing here???}. By the time we left North Carolina, doing things separately wasnt a big deal. He started power school and golfed, did wood working; I hung out with girlfriends, worked on my writing. Of course I still have issues when we are too busy-- I know our children want to spend time with both of us together and, since quality time is my love language, I love when we do things as a family.

I suppose the foreshadowing for last nights feelings happened last week when I sat down to figure out our Thanksgiving plans. With shiftwork, I didnt want to be struggling to make Thanksgiving dinner with children underfoot only for him to eat and leave at odd hours. I kept thinking that I wanted to do something more than eating take out or a casserole because it might be our "last Thanksgiving together for awhile." That thought just kept bouncing around in my head. I found a recommended restaurant with traditional Thanksgiving fare that would give us the holiday feel without me stressing over a ginormous meal for just our family. I wanted him to enjoy this Thanksgiving because next year... where will he be next year? On a submarine. Home? Deployed? Underway? We dont know. We dont even know where we will be living next year.

Last night we were getting ready to go trick or treating. My husband was tired from shiftwork. Our children were over excited about a holiday-- dressing up, something new, general excitement. I was a little stressed because one of our boys-- the one who tends to randomly projectile vomit when over excited or after eating junk food-- wasnt eating his dinner and I didnt want him binging on candy later without "real food" in his stomach. The baby needed to be fed. All 3 older boys were covered in dirt and sand from head to foot after playing outside before dinner and I needed to give them baths before costumes. It was a busy start to the holiday, but one to be expected with 4 children. My poor husband-- who is genuinely tired from shiftwork-- pulls me aside and says he doesnt want to trick or treat long because he really wants to go to bed early. The panic hit my chest, "We have to trick or treat! We need to do this with the boys. They want to do it with you. We are going to do it as a family." He says he knows, but he doesnt want to be out all night. {Funny conversation in hindsight-- we set out with a 6-year old who falls asleep standing up at 8 pm, two 3-year olds who hadnt napped, an infant who wanted to eat, and my husband who is on rotating shiftwork.} We agreed to hit a few houses in our neighborhood, coming home in time for the kids bedtime.

I kept thinking as we were trick or treating, "Enjoy this night. Next year youll be doing this alone. Next year-- if hes home-- hell be on 3 section duty days, but hell probably be underway or deployed. If were lucky hell be home on shiftwork. Make the most of tonight." Thinking like that is so paralyzing. I knew I wanted us to stick together-- no breaking off and trick or treating with neighbors. We are doing this together, dammit. I felt that panic hitting my chest. Should I let our oldest go trick or treat with his friends? I mean, that is part of normal life, right? But hes only 6-years old, its fine if we tell him no and have him go with us. I know my husband wanted to do this with all his boys, so it is good we said no, right? Ugh. Yes? No? Panic rising again-- he wont be home next year! Enjoy this year!

For me, this became a courageous parenting moment. I realized that my fears that we wouldnt be together next year {the unknown future} were taking over my ability to enjoy and live in this moment {the present}. And while I wasnt walking around telling our children, "You must enjoy this time with your father. He will probably be underway next Halloween," I wasnt exactly letting them spread their wings and just be. I had expectations of the evening that I wanted met. How is that fun for a kid? Trying to fit into a box his mom has made for the day? While I was thinking all that, I also realized that I dont want to teach my children to think this way. I dont want to train them to have those panicked feelings of making the most, clinging on so tight that they cant see what is in front of them. I know they will have struggles as military children, but why should I compound that by teaching them new things to be afraid of? To dread? Teaching them to regret how they spent a holiday-- time they spent-- before theyve even had a chance to experience the day? My love language is quality time. Regret and anxiety are not quality time.

Remember Finding Nemo? Marlin tells Dory regarding his son Nemo, "I promised Id never let anything happen to him." Dory replies, "Hmm, thats a funny thing to promise... you cant never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little [Nemo]."

And as I write this blog post, we are watching The Croods. Eep says to her father, "You have to stop worrying about us." Her father replies, "Its my job to worry! We have to follow the rules." Eep goes on to say, "The rules dont work out here." Eeps father interjects, "The rules kept us alive!" to which Eep replies, "That wasnt living! That was just... not dying."

Last night when it looked like our night was going to go downhill before 7 pm-- fussy baby, cold family, tired husband-- I felt myself getting upset, "This isnt how I want tonight to go!" But when does life ever happen exactly how we want it to? I took a deep breath and let it go. I let go of my expectations for the evening, the panic that we have to make the most of tonight because of the unknowns of next Halloween, the desire for tonight to be perfect. When I did that, the evening was perfect. The boys sprinted from house to house (we were glad that we stuck together as a family in the end). We dropped the stroller off and held the baby, warming up my husband and actually putting the fussy baby to sleep. We ended up back home before 7:30 pm, letting the boys eat some of their Halloween candy while passing out candy to the last few trick or treaters. The kids were in bed on time; my husband was in bed before 8:30 pm. It all ended up working out and even I enjoyed myself once I let go, once I stopped clinging to everything so tight.

I curled up next to my hubby with my book last night as I fed our baby happy. Who knows where we will be living next Halloween or if my husband will be home. I do know that if hes underway, hell be thinking of this Halloween and how our boys kept taking off as fast as their legs could carry them from house to house. How we had a hard time keeping track of our Captain America and Buzz Lightyear, but our Big Al {Alabama Crimson Tides elephant mascot} was easy to spot. How baby #4 calmed as soon as he was picked up by his daddy and promptly fell asleep on his shoulder. How my husband spent the rest of the evening with one hand free, the other holding the baby, but how all the baby needed right then was his daddy. How the boys screamed with delight when we told them they could eat all the candy they wanted last night and how they compared and shared all their treats-- without us asking. How they fell asleep not 10 minutes after we put them to bed. Who could ask for a better Halloween?

Now, while it took a lot of courage to let go on Halloween, it was fairly easy to remember with all the Elsas wandering the neighborhood. I will have a much harder time when Thanksgiving and Christmas come around. Hopefully I can breathe in, breathe out, and enjoy those days for what they are as well.

Do you find it hard to live in the present as a military family?

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Our 2-year olds wrestling on a hotel room couch last PCS ;)

I wrote a blog post before titled, "PCSing tips from a Navy wife and mother of three." We have a PCS coming up in the next couple months and so I wanted to write another blog post about how we start preparing several months before an upcoming PCS.

Move Notebook?

The most important aspect to a smooth PCS is organizing all your paperwork which is why the move notebook is so important. I wrote a blog post called "Write it all down" where I explain how I organize our move notebook. The other day I spent the morning getting our move notebook ready for our next move: throwing out and filing paperwork from our last PCS, printing off new note taking pages, adding sections for our new kitten and baby #4. Move notebook: ready.

Donating HHG?

The next step {and one you can never start too early-- seriously} is going through your household goods (HHG). One of the difficult aspects of being a Navy family is you never know where your next PCS will be. We will find out roughly 2 weeks before we PCS where we are going. I dont want to donate our winter coats because 1.) I dont know where our next move will be and 2.) I dont know where we are going after that. When we lived in Hawaii, our hall closet was stuffed with winter jackets from living in New Hampshire/Maine. Our storage unit in North Carolina was lined with boogie boards from Hawaii, that we then used here in South Carolina. I know everyone manages their HHG differently, but, man, I hate rebuying things every time we PCS. So, while keeping in mind that while we might not need our boogie boards/swim suits or scarves/winter coats at our next PCS, I still follow a few rules when combing through our HHG:

• When you last lived in that climate, did you actually use those items?
  I just went through my closet and found a whole bin of hideous scarves and hats. I never wore them in New Hampshire, I never wore them on the cold days in North Carolina, and I definitely dont plan on wearing them in the future. Some things that never were in style will definitely never be in style again. If you find beach toys that you never took to the beach when you lived 10 minutes from it, get rid of them.
• Follow the rules of fashion: if you havent worn them in 2 seasons, out they go.
  If you have gone through 2 seasons with your fall wardrobe and havent pulled out an entire drawer of sweaters, pare them down. If you have skipped over certain items for 2 seasons, you will never wear that item again. If you need help going through your closet with a critical eye, I highly recommend Tim Gunns Guide to Quality, Taste, and Style. Tim Gunn has all the answers.
• Most important question: how easy is that item to replace?
  Being a moving military family, this is the most important question to me when looking at an item and weighing whether it should stay or go. I dont like donating items that I immediately need to replace when arriving from a PCS (moving is expensive enough already without creating expenses). My husband hates one of the end tables in our family room. I agree with him that it isnt a quality piece of furniture. However, I do not want to move to our next house missing end tables; I need somewhere to put my coffee. That is an item that I would keep and replace... eventually {probably never-- haha!}. Our winter jackets also fall in that category. My husband and I both have very nice winter jackets; our childrens winter jackets have all only seen a season or two, meaning our younger sons have quality hand-me-down jackets. It would cost more for me to throw them all out then keep them and hand them down to our younger children. Several things that didnt make the cut: surplus outdoor toys, a large quantity of toys from our playroom, a whole bin of spare picture frames, cookbooks that I rarely-- if ever-- use, etc.

Going through your HHG is something that takes time. We did spend the couple weeks after baby #4 was born going through every drawer and closet in our house, tossing out the junk, organizing all our paper files. That was very productive, but, since then, we have gone through even more stuff. We keep a donate box in our garage so that we can continuously add to it. Yesterday alone I found literally 20 pounds of things to donate in our office, a room that we have already combed through. I look at it this way: when you first walk into a room like our playroom, it is hard to discern what we truly need to keep. The first wave is the most obvious for removing junk. The second wave is when we start picking through and really organizing. The third wave we can go through with a fine tooth comb and eliminate almost all of the junk.

Use up your liquids

 

This is a really helpful blog post on PCSing, "Army Wife Network: PCS Guide." It states:

Be aware that most moving companies will not transport candles, batteries, live plants, and liquids.  They will however pack non-perishables.  If you have any of these items you will have to make other arrangements to get them to your new home or give them away.

Sounds simple enough, but take a close look at how many liquids you have in your home, starting in the kitchen: oils, condiments, vinegars, alcohol, dressings, jars of pickled products, etc. Move to the bathroom: lotions, hair products, shave products, bath and body products, etc. Move to the garage: paint, finishes, aerosol cans, gas, cleaning products, etc. This is obviously not a process that you should start the week before you pack out.

Some people get really frustrated that those items wont be packed out. I agree.. It is hard to throw those all away each and every time you move. On the flip side, how would you feel PCSing from Hawaii and having your household goods packed in a crate with someone elses household goods and one of their boxes exploded, leaking 409 all over your couch for 2 months? Or a bottle of olive oil saturating a box of books? When we left Hawaii, one of our movers left a bag of individually wrapped chocolates on our couch. 3 months later when our couch was delivered to North Carolina in July, we had an epic mess on our hand that literally coated our small living room in our apartment. (The chocolate had coated the couch and the paper that the couch was wrapped in, spreading all over the carpet, the couch cushions... It was a mess.) So I understand why these items arent moved. I also am excited when some of these items accidentally do get packed and survive in one piece-- "Score! A box of household cleaners that I dont need to go out and buy!"

I 100% agree with passing out things you cant move to your friends-- freezer items, cleaning products, hair products, any and everything. I believe in paying it forward. I believe in donating things you dont need anymore or cant use. I also believe in cutting down on waste and using what you own. It is still so frustrating throwing out so much waste every time we move. No matter what we pass out to friends, we still end up with waste each and every time. Some moves it cant be helped. We found out we were moving in 2 months when we left Hawaii, fast forwarding our move date by over a year. My husband was underway while I was setting up our move and we had a lot of ducks to get in a row for the STA-21 program. Im not sure we used up much of our perishables before we moved. I remember boxes of cleaning products I handed out and throwing away so much food, even after passing out so much food.

Here are my tips on using up your liquids:

• Take inventory
  What items do you own that actually cannot be moved? Check your freezer. Check your pantry. Check your bathrooms. Check your garage. Figure out what you have and what you need to use up. Write a list if it helps. Figure out how to use up the cleaning products you own and, if you run out before your PCS, buy multi-purpose cleaning products that will be easier to consume before your move date. Make meals that use your perishables.
• Start early
  I have found that, for our family, the last month before we move is not a good time for us to use up our products. We are busy cleaning. Our friends want to go out to eat with us. I am spending time setting up the move, confirming dates, refiguring everything when I get a call that the pack out is moved by a week or two, etc. That last month never goes as planned and our freezer suffers for it. Plan early-- start 3 months ahead truly consuming what you already own. Make it a goal. With 3 months before you move, pull out those perishable items from your pantry that must be consumed-- condiments, dressings, etc-- and get creative. In your bathrooms, set out the liquids that cannot move and start using them! Make a point of using these things.
• Figure out what you wont use
  Despite our best efforts, there will still be things that we will not use. For instance, my husband has lots of finishes and paints in our garage. He will not be completing any more woodworking projects before we move. I have lots of shampoos and conditioners that I will most likely not use. Make a game plan for those items. Since I plan on visiting my parents, I know that I can bring our unopened condiments, bath and body products, etc, to their house and I know what will get used there. For the other things, we plan on passing those things off to our friends, especially in the last month when it is obvious we will not be using them. A big note is do not wait to hand it all out the week before you PCS. As well-meaning as people are, everyone is busy. You may have a free afternoon to hand out your household cleaners and bath and beauty products, but your friend has school pick up/drop off and doctors appointments. Dont wait until the last minute when your only option is to throw it away.

Make reservations

 

Im not sure how well it comes across in my blog, but Im a planner. I like making lists, schedules, keeping notes, hanging reminders. I like having a game plan. PCSing can be really hard because moving plans are contingent on all the other parts of the move: the pack out date, when HHG are picked up, etc. If you have a moment, Ill take you on a little walk through my over-planning mind.

• Set up the outgoing hotel:
  
  I am a huge fan of booking directly through companies. I never use third party sites, such as Travelocity or Kayak or whatever. My favorite hotel companies for PCSing are Marriot and Hyatt {both have military rates}. As soon as I have an idea of when we might possibly have a good chance of maybe PCSing, I book our hotel. Why? Because I familiarize myself with the hotels cancellation policy. Marriot and Hyatt give you 24 hours before your check-in time to cancel a reservation.
  
  How do I make this work for me? Lets say that I think we are PCSing at the end of November (which we arent). I would go on the computer now, compare rates, book an outgoing hotel reservation for 2 weeks at the hotel of my choice, and then continue to monitor hotel prices. When PCSing with pets and children, sometimes it costs far less to stay at a hotel that does not accept pets and board the animals than it does to stay at a hotel with a pet deposit and a pet fee each night; sometimes it isnt. It also takes some planning to figure out if it would be more convenient to board the animals or keep them with us-- where is the pet boarder located in relation to our hotel and home? How much will it cost to board our pet? What is the pet fee/pet deposit at our hotel?
  
  I also like to call local military hotels, such as Navy Lodge or any hotels on base. Many of those hotels have deposits that you pay when you make the reservation, but they also usually have a similar cancellation policy as the larger chain hotels. I like to check out those hotels because they are usually less expensive, generally centrally located, and often pet friendly. The downside to the military hotels is that they are quite often just hotel rooms whereas with a Residence Inn I can get a 2-bedroom suite that comfortably accommodates the whole family or a Hyatt Place room with somewhat divided spaces that works well for a short stay.
  
  And here is why I never use third party sites: as the move gets closer, I adjust our reservation when our dates become firmer. I never cut down the length of our stay. I always make sure to make our reservation at least 2-3 days past when I think I will need it. {When PCSing with a family, dont make it more difficult by setting it up so you have to change rooms in the middle of a hotel stay.} I carefully mark my calendar as to where I have made reservations and the cancellation dates. This makes it much easier for me to guarantee lower fares, comfortable accommodations during a PCS, and a convenient location {I like an included breakfast, lunch and dinner within walking distance, and centrally located to the other aspects of our move}. With third party sites, they often do not allow cancellations or adjusting the stay. It is often very difficult to do this as well, resulting in long phone calls through automated systems (my nemesis).
  
  It is much easier to book our outgoing hotel in advance. I generally have to wait until the month before our PCS to book our incoming hotel. We do not like to stay at our home once our pack out begins because it is often dangerous keeping track of the kids with moving boxes, etc. Our outgoing hotel begins the day of our pack out and ends when we leave town, usually right after our final walk through. {I love when we can book our final walk through in the evening the night before we check out of our hotel-- that is perfect PCS timing.} The incoming hotel is contingent on when we are actually moving to our next duty station-- when our household goods will be delivered, my husbands report date, etc. That I have to wait on until we have a firmer idea of when things will take place, but I book that as soon as we have an inkling as well.

 

HANG IN THERE

?

 

I hear a lot as we get ready to move that "it will all work out." We had a really crappy situation when PCSing from North Carolina to South Carolina (read "Living on borrowed time"), but it worked out. It always does. Its stressful to not know where the next move is or when exactly we are moving or being able to look up housing at our next place {my fingers are itching to start searching Zillow}. For now Im content channeling my energy into these tasks. Eventually the  move will hit and Ill earn more PCSing gray hairs. For now there is no stress-- no dates to keep track of, nothing broken in a move, no overbooked hotels, no missing POAs, no housing wait lists... Just a looming move.

 

What are your pre-PCSing tips? How do you get ready for an upcoming PCS?

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"Live a little, be a gypsy get around.
Get your feet up off the ground.
Live a little, get around."
-Paul McCartney, Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey

We are less than a week away from PCSing from North Carolina to South Carolina. I dont know why this move out of all the other moves weve done is so dang stressful. Ive moved from the west coast to the Northeast by myself as a newlywed. Ive moved from the Northeast to Hawaii by myself with a newborn. I even signed our lease for our apartment here in North Carolina by myself with a toddler and a power of attorney. And here we are, three years later moving one state down with my husband to help on both ends and Im having an absolute panic attack.

Every time we are about to move, I envision it going like the last scene in Thirteen Going on Thirty with Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo.

Image courtesy of The Blue Craftsman

?

They are adorable. The pink house, the couch in the lawn, cuddling on it and laughing... Ive never had the movers put my couch on the lawn and give us a moment on it to cuddle and laugh. Even if they did, I would probably be too stressed out about how they were packing our artwork to take advantage of the movie moment anyways.

Recently Chopped aired an episode where the contestants had to create dishes using "wasted" ingredients (view episode at FoodNetwork.com). I feel like that has been our breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for the past couple weeks, with a minor interlude when all both our familys came to town for my husbands commissioning. Last night for dinner we had frozen blueberry waffles, a cold tomato salad, and pimento scrambled eggs. We discovered 32 eggs in our garage refrigerator and so tonight we are either having a frittata or omelets, probably with the same pimento, yellow pepper, onion, and tomato filling. Im giving the kids Greek yogurt with nearly all their meals (how did we acquire so much Greek yogurt???). Thankfully we are driving to South Carolina so all our pantry ingredients can be transported in our car instead of thrown out or given away like when we moved from Hawaii. Re-buying all your oils and vinegars is annoying and it feels absolutely wasteful throwing out all your cleaning products and pantry items.

Oh, moving. You are just messing with my head. Our house here in North Carolina was perfect for the kids, considering it is a ranch-style home with a playroom and fenced in backyard. The storage space here was horrible. I feel like our things are shoved in musty closets or jumbled in bins. I keep thinking, "Do I want this room packed this way?" Im so worried we will have small boxes of books and other things from every room. I dont want to get overly OCD, but I want all my books packed together so I can figure out what I want to do with them on the other end. Ive never lived in a home laid out like this where Ive had to put bookcases in every corner of every room. Aside from books, we have often joked about how weve taken advantage of our vertical storage; we now need to have everything on the upper shelves and on top of cabinets taken down to easily be within reach of the movers-- all the coffee cups and rarely used kitchen appliances. We need to have everything that cant be lifted off the walls taken down for the movers (the television, artwork). And have I mentioned we have toddler twins and a five-year old in the mix? They are fascinated with absolutely everything weve taken down.

The to-do list feels like it is never ending, especially when considering all the things we need to do in one day before we turn the keys back over (cleaning the house, carpet cleaning, etc). I know that it isnt. I know we will get it done. I know that we will get through this week and it wont be as bad as Im thinking in my head.

Right now I have bags of our pantry items lining the wall in our family room, a gated area we dont let our toddlers into unsupervised. I have winter jackets hanging in door ways as I sort through long forgotten closets. Our playroom is absolutely trashed, between me combing through toys we no longer need and our toddlers entertaining themselves while I work. Our master bedroom is piled with laundry, to-do lists, and items weve stashed away out of the toddlers reach for one reason or another. I feel like Im constantly stepping over a pile or telling the boys to stop touching something.

I think a lot of things are adding to my stress level, things I need to let go of. I feel like weve had a break from military life these last three years due to the STA-21 program (read "STA-21 Officers Program"). Im nervous about heading back into that with three kids, especially now that weve decided to go career Navy. This has felt like a glimpse into civilian life and it is nice. Im slightly envious of my friends who are settling into these houses that they plan on staying in until their children are grown, who are picking neighborhoods based on school districts all the way up to high school, when currently their oldest is four-years old. It tugs at my heart to see my oldest saying good-bye to friends that he has come to love dearly (read this recent article by Military Spouse Magazine, "Lessons About Saying Good-bye from a Five-Year Old Military Child"). I dont want to say good-bye. I dont want to leave this area. I love my friends. I love this area. I could see us here. I could see my kids grow up here.

But it is time. It is time to say close this chapter. It is time to face the mess in my house and check off my to-do list. It is time to start looking into kids programs in our new area in South Carolina. It is time to start posting in Navy wife forums asking if anyone else will live near us. It is time to spread new roots, to make new friends, to let our friends here in North Carolina know how much we have loved them and our friendships with them. It is time to start the cycle all over again of "Making friends," like the blog I posted in September of 2011. This is a hard thing to do every few years as a military family. A friend asked me at lunch this past week if it is easier now since Ive done it so many times before. The answer is no. It is hard to open your heart at each duty station and let people in. It is hard to connect and love someone and say good-bye. Im determined to embrace each duty station with open arms, knowing there is eventually an end, either with us moving away or our military friends moving away. It is something that I will probably always struggle with because sometimes it feels exhausting (read, "Making the best"). Even with the challenges, right now I love this life. I love living new places. I love settling into a new home and redecorating. I love having a reason to go through all our boxes every couple years and constantly being reminded of our treasures. Who else has a reason to open keepsake boxes every one to three years? I love finding my engagement ring box, baby books, and mementos of our good times. I love the people I meet and exploring new areas. I love feeling like this life is an adventure that Im embarking on with my best friend and our beautiful children.

And duties of this life call. Time to get back to packing! Forget Tuesday afternoon, laundry is never ending...

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Organizing my books

 
We have successfully PCSd! This is my first blog post in South Carolina. So far I absolutely love our house. This is the biggest kitchen we have ever had! I cant believe that I actually have unused space in my kitchen cupboards. When I was showing the empty cupboard to my husband, he says, "Well, there is no reason to go out and fill it either." I think he was trying to tell me that I dont need anymore kitchen gadgets. Since Im fairly certain there is a Pampered Chef consultant in my neighborhood, I personally do not think that cupboard will stay empty long. ;)

We moved into a four bedroom house and decided before we got here that we would have a playroom, a guest room, and bunk beds in one bedroom, the boys room. In fact, we were so certain of this decision that we took advantage of a sale at Pottery Barn Kids and bought a bunk bed and a single bed in preparation (military families: be sure to ask for the military discount at Pottery Barn! They apply it on top of sales!). The boys room idea is working great so far. Our oldest loves being on the top bunk. We put a shelf up there for all his special things and his little brothers are not allowed up there (or even on the ladder). The rule is going well for the time being.

Enough about the house. How was PCSing with three kids, including 2-year old twins?

This was actually an awesome move. I am so glad this was our first move with three kids. My husband was home on both ends; during our past moves he would only be home for the pack out and usually not both days of the pack out. We had three days of pack out this time and we had a direct move! Our HHGs were loaded onto a truck in North Carolina and the lead packer drove the same truck down to South Carolina and unloaded our HHGs there. The lead packer was excellent. We told them which of our high value items we wanted to watch him pack; we only told him once and he came to get me to say he was about to pack them up. Weve had barely anything to claim. The crew that unloaded our HHGs in South Carolina was very nice. I tend to be surprised at how much furniture they are taking off the truck, "Where would you like this bookcase, maam?" "Omigosh... I totally forgot about that bookcase... We are going to have to rearrange all the furniture in this room..." Instead of the usual barely concealed eye rolling that Ive received from moving crews in the past, these guys would say, "Sounds good. Tell us where you want it." They didnt rush me to make up my mind about where I wanted furniture and they unloaded our goods in a timely manner. I was very impressed with how quickly they unloaded our HHGs. When we moved from Hawaii to North Carolina with far less things (we only had one child then moved into a two-bedroom apartment), the movers took well into the night to unload our things, despite my attempts to get them to hurry along the process. But there were a lot of problems with that move.


This was our first time using move.mil. I really hated filling out all the move information online. I did not understand why I had to go through the whole process on move.mil only to then give all the same information to our Transportation Office over the phone and then again to a move coordinator. We were also in a remote location in North Carolina; our closest Transportation Office was about an hour away. I really wanted to just go into an office and get the whole thing over with-- no more trying to get a hold of someone just to get a small question answered. I really felt like I was the only one who cared about getting the ball rolling on our move; the gal I spoke with at the Transportation Office was exceedingly disagreeable. However, once everything was squared away, we were assigned a move representative who was fabulous. I mean, absolutely wonderful to work with. It was so nice having a phone number and extension for one person who I could call whenever I had a question. She got back to me in a timely manner and if she didnt have the answer right away, she would call me back the same day with the answer. I loved that. The only ridiculous aspect of having a move coordinator is when there were discrepancies, like she had the wrong move date in our paperwork for some reason. When I told her the correct move date, she had to call the local contracted moving company to verify the move date that I had given her and then call me back to tell me she sent me an email verifying the correct date. It felt like a bit of a production. Whenever I wanted to complain about it though I realized she was the one doing the verifying and not me-- which I liked.

With three children-- a five-year old and two-year old twins-- we decided that we wanted to move to a hotel the first day of the pack out, not even deal with attempting to somewhat baby proof a house rapidly filling with boxes. Even better, local friends of ours volunteered to take our oldest son for most of our pack out. They picked him up the second day of our pack out and kept him at their house until the day we left North Carolina, a total of three days. We found a Hyatt Place that accepted dogs since we also had our small dog Louis with us. Originally we had reserved a 2 bedroom suite at the Residence Inn, but our move date was bumped up by a week and there was a price jump between the two weeks that was far more than we wanted to pay per night. So we stayed at the Hyatt Place, which is basically like a really large hotel room. There is a half partition between the 2 queen beds and the couch area. The space was comfortable once our oldest went to stay with his friends. That first night when all five us and the dog slept in there we were feeling awfully cramped. My husband slept on the couch that night and I slept in a queen bed with our oldest while the two toddlers shared the other queen bed. Without a five-year old bouncing around in the room touching everything ("Whats this little fridge for? Can I drink this? Why is the television like that? What does this button do? Louis, fetch, boy! Fetch! Lets jump from bed to bed!"), I easily entertained the two-year olds with the Duplo blocks I had brought with us and the Llama Llama stories. I also was able to get them to nap without their older brother keeping them up. I originally questioned whether I wanted him staying so long away from us during the move time-- like I wanted the whole family together-- but in the end I was extremely grateful that they had volunteered. It really did make things easier.

During the pack out days, we dropped the kids off at drop-in childcare. We kept them there from about 9 am to 2 pm each day of the pack out. The last day of the pack out, when our stuff was gone and we were starting to get the house prepped to hand the keys over, we dropped them off again for an hour and a half in the evening. It is amazing what you can get done in an hour and a half without two toddlers clinging to your legs. I picked them up in the afternoon and went back to the hotel room with them to attempt to get them to nap, or at least to enforce a quiet time. My husband was in charge of the pack out, watching the movers pack our things and keeping track of what was put in the parts box. I picked up lunch for each of the three days. The first day we had picked up a sandwich platter from Costco along with a fruit bowl. The second day we served the leftover sandwich platter and my husband and I had take out since there wasnt enough for us too. The third day we picked up one of those family meals from KFC that has a big bucket of chicken. We made sure to have bottles of water every day for the movers.

The North Carolina end of the move went smoothly. We had lots of help from friends and knew where restaurants were and what resources we had, like the drop-in childcare. The South Carolina end was tricky. Our kids were with us from start to finish. The third day of our pack out was on a Friday. Saturday we had our house cleaned and did the final walk through, turning over the keys. Sunday we drove to South Carolina. Monday morning we got the keys to our new place and had our HHGs delivered (Im telling you, direct moves are awesome!). The kids were bouncing off the walls the entire time we were in the housing office. My husband and I were really worried how it would go when our HHGs were delivered since we had nowhere for them to nap and werent sure how they would behave. Surprisingly, they did great. The movers were friendly and let me know when they were about to bring in something big and heavy. We also were able to quickly get outside toys off the truck which kept them very entertained in the driveway. Late in the afternoon we found both packnplays and set them up in one of the bathrooms for a nap. The movers were quiet outside the bathroom door and we were able to get them to take a power nap.

We have friends who are also living in South Carolina. They brought us over a platter of enchiladas and a delicious bunt cake the day our HHGs were delivered. My husband and I decided to eat it on Tuesday night since we had errands to run Monday after the movers left. We got a quick bite to eat Monday evening and then drove the boys to Costco at the fussiest time of day to do a "quick trip." Again, they did surprisingly well. We were expecting full on temper tantrums the whole time, but I think everything was so new and exciting that they were too distracted to misbehave. We did get in and out of there as fast as we could though! Tuesday we got to the house and set up the boys room right away. I had brought all the sheets for our beds with us so we wouldnt have problems finding the sheets in South Carolina and also so I wouldnt have to wash them before putting them on the bed. Once there room was set up, my husband got to work in the garage and I got to work in the house. It was great smelling those enchiladas baking in our oven that night for dinner! We were so happy to be checked out of our hotel and finally be home, even if home was a house full of boxes! All in all, we spent six days in a hotel, four days in North Carolina and two days in South Carolina.

Our oldest sleeping through our HHG delivery

It took us eight days to get our house out of boxes. Eight days of waking up and starting before 7 am and finishing around 2 am. I know where the Costco, Sams Club, and Target is here. Ive been to Target many times already. My husband has worked tirelessly to get our garage organized. I think that was a bigger project than getting the house together. We spent many evenings and mealtimes hanging pictures, times when the boys were either strapped in their high chairs or in their room in bed. With kids, you unpack the house by order of priority: the boys room so they can sleep in a baby-proofed space, their playroom so they have somewhere safe to play, the kitchen so you can cook their meals, the bathrooms so the family can get ready for the day, the closets, the laundry room, and the living room. Next comes the guest room. The office barely makes it on the list and has become a catch-all for the random box or two we still need to unpack and the things we need to organize (why on earth do I have so much art supplies?!). The last couple things we have to do are small: we are waiting on the couch we ordered to be delivered, Im getting some things framed for our living room, and Im painting canvases for the boys room. These things will eventually get done and Im not worried about them. Our office may never get done. That is a project Im definitely putting off for some long, dreary day this winter. :)

While there were many factors that got us unpacked so quickly this time, I always like to give myself a deadline of when I will get the house unpacked. Im worried that if I dont, my whole house will end up like our office, an unfinished project with random bits and pieces stacked in corners. I dont want to live in a house, even for a short amount of time, that doesnt feel like home. Ive written before about how up in the air our schedule is here (read "Asthma, STA-21, commissioning, and PCSing-- yikes!"). We could be in South Carolina anywhere from 6 months to 2 years, though we shouldnt be here much longer than that. On top of wanting our current house to feel like home, my husband and I agree that we dont want to start having "garage boxes," as we call them. When the movers are unloading the truck, you tend to give them an area to put boxes you are unsure of where they go, like if a box is marked storage or whatever, you tell them, "Oh, just put that in the garage. Well go through it later." But the later never comes and the next time you move, you have these random garage boxes that never got opened. During our in-town moves in North Carolina (read "Across town move"), we ended up with a couple garage boxes. I opened them all up before we PCSd to South Carolina and was surprised at what I found. One of them was a donate box, another full of puzzles and games that Id been looking for. I really would like to put off accumulating garage boxes for as long as possible! Im sure it is inevitable we will have some with such a large family, but we are fighting the uphill battle for as long as we can.

I plan on writing a blog post about moving with our five-year old. The two-year olds have done great. They have had the expected amount of tantrums from their routines being totally thrown off and their parents completely occupied with unpacking the house. They have enjoyed tasks like shoving the moving paper into empty boxes. They have really enjoyed climbing in empty boxes and pretending they are racecars. Our oldest misses North Carolina a lot. He misses his friends and is feeling unsure about the new place. We are trying to set up familiar routines here to help him feel a little more in control here. I have absolutely loved our new community here. Our neighbors are wonderful. Not only have they watched our boys when I needed childcare in a bind, but weve also already had two playdates in the short 12 days that weve been here. One of our neighbors has even been picking our oldest up when they go for family walks in the evening. I was so worried about making friends when we moved here because of the challenge I had doing so at our last duty station (read "Making friends"). This moving experience has really made me fall in love with the military community all over again; my husband and I have felt so incredibly blessed by our neighbors here.

Now, I would attach some of the good pictures that I took with our Sony Cybershot... but all the cables are still packed in the office boxes...

Things that were extremely helpful during this move:

-Our move notebook (read "Write it all down")

-A clipboard with a pad of paper, like the Greenroom recycled clipboard from Target

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The year is not over yet, but I have loved homeschooling 5-year old preschool. Yesterday I worked on our curriculum for kindergarten and Im even more excited for next year. We kept D back a year (a fellow homeschooling mother of boys calls this "red shirting" and not keeping them back-- love it!). Our sons birthday is at the end of the summer so he would either be youngest or oldest kid in his class. We decided he could use another year before we started him in kindergarten. Next year we will start our first "real" year of homeschooling: kindergarten.

For us, the emphasis for preschool has been on character and community. Weve been focusing on waiting your turn and taking turns, not interrupting, helping others, thinking of others before yourself, listening and following instructions, and following the rules even without direct supervision. Most of this can be taught in everyday life, especially since he has two younger brothers. We apply these lessons as he helps cook, clean, and run errands. When there is an aspect we feel needs special attention, we take the time to teach that lesson, such as following instructions while cooking and patiently waiting for the job he has to do (not rushing through it and making mistakes).

Of course we also do school. Ive been following Ruth Beechicks method for reading and writing, The Three Rs. We do some sort of writing every day. Usually it is informal, but a couple times a week I have him copy a complete sentence. Weve been reading chapters of Who Was Martin Luther King Jr? by Bonnie Bader. After we read a chapter, I have him copy a sentence down from that chapter, a sentence of my choosing that I feel summarizes that chapter or teaches something important about Martin Luther King Jr. Often he copies words in his notebook that have something to do with that days theme or activities, like when we were working on colors with his toddler brothers, he wrote down things that were red (strawberries, apples, Clifford). Sometimes the only writing he does that day is on a treasure map he drew or a card for a friend or family member he made. We do a lot of reading as a family anyways, Look and Find books, childrens books, books on a topic that interests him. One of their favorite books is Birds of North Carolina by Tim Ohr. We bought it when we lived in North Carolina and had lots of trees and birds in our backyard. There we would sit in our sunroom and name the birds we saw. This book was a Costco find that I bought on a whim (need to get one for South Carolina now that weve moved!). We also have a large coffee table book on John Deere tractors that they love. It gives the history of John Deer and facts on each model; we read that book a lot. That book was a used book store find that cost hardly anything. Now that we are working on reading, Ive scoured the used book stores childrens section for easy readers (Curious George, Berenstain Bears, Clifford, etc). We usually work together on reading during his brothers naptime when we have uninterrupted time together. I love that time, curled up on the couch together working on reading a book (and then I love when we are done for the time being and not spending 10 minutes on one word-- haha!).

Math hasnt been difficult for us to incorporate in our homeschool. I actually bought Saxon Math K: An Incremental Development (Home Study Teachers Edition). I bought this at a homeschool consignment store in North Carolina-- best place ever! I did not buy the meeting book or the kit, which includes all the materials needed for the curriculum. I bought the materials on Amazon, like the linking cubes and such. I bought some of them before we started and some of them after we started when I realized I actually needed for the lessons. I also did not follow this book to a T. I mostly used it as a guidebook. D really likes math and it comes naturally to him. We tend to do a lot of math with him in everyday life, not just with counting bears, but with word problems and having him help solve things. For instance, "If Mommy and your brothers drive in the van and Daddy and you ride in the Jeep, how many people are in the van? How many in the Jeep? How many all together?" "I made 10 cookies and there are 3 boys to eat the cookies. How many cookies does everyone get? How many cookies are leftover?" "How many drinks do I need to buy at Chick-Fil-A so we all get a drink? If we want a milkshake after we drink our lemonades, how many drinks will I buy total?" I used the Saxon Math Teachers Edition much more as an inspiration for a more structured lesson if I need it. I do not use the calendar plan laid out in it; we have a hanging pocket calendar we use instead. We also play math guided games: Chutes and Ladders, ThinkFun Math Dice Jr, Sorry. He seriously loves math and loves when we do anything that has even the slightest mathematical slant. A favorite game of his? Measuring things in the house with a tape measure. I make it a math game. "If the chair is 20 inches across, how many inches across would it be if there were 2 more inches? How about 2 less inches?" I really did like the Saxon Math book; so much so that I bought the Level 1 Home Study Teachers Edition to use his kindergarten year-- again, just the teachers edition, not the complete kit.

There are other subjects that we do regularly. I keep track of everything in the Homeschoolers Journal. We try to remember to do our calendar everyday and we usually do. Before I got the pocket calendar, we crossed off days on a wall calendar. My neighbor and I have big plans to make an adorable felt calendar! Im very excited about that. Everyday at breakfast we read from the One Year Childrens Bible. The boys love their Bible story and pull it down while I get their breakfast plates on the table. I like how short the stories are so I can actually read to both our preschooler and our toddlers without losing their interest. We also do a Bible verse with our preschooler. I do not have him learn a verse a week, just more on his pace. He must learn it word for word, but when hes ready to learn the next part, I teach it to him. He just learned Isaiah 9:6 and now we are working on John 3:16. We also talk a lot about the Navy, since their dad is a submariner. The toddlers are very interested in submarines, ships, and boats. Our preschooler is very interested in how the submarine works. They all love that there is a submarine in Despicable Me 2.

And part of our homeschooling plan is teaching that everyone needs to help out around the house. He feeds the dog every morning and changes the dogs water. They all bring their dishes to the kitchen sink or kitchen counter (depending on the dish-- I bet they could break their Corelle bowls chucking them in the sink). They have to pick up shared living spaces throughout the day, when they change activities. I do not require either the toddlers or our preschooler to move all the toys from the family room to where it necessarily goes in the playroom, unless Im having our preschooler pick up toys that he got out and a mess he made (like his puzzles or his craft stuff). That is too much of a task for the toddlers to grasp (keep picking up toys in the family room and put them away where they go-- they get distracted). After they bring the toys to the playroom, I sit in there and help put them away or direct where they go. They all help with housecleaning, tidying shared spaces, dusting, sweeping, wiping down counters. This Rubbermaid Dual Action Microfiber Flip Mop has made it so easy for our preschooler to help with the floors. The toddlers dust with dusting cloths and they help clean either with paper towels or rags sprayed with vinegar water. They all help fold laundry. Surprisingly, they actually can all help, not the kind of help children often give that is in no way helpful. The toddlers can fold rags, towels, and pillow cases quite well. Their shirts and things are often folded by them in interesting and unique ways, but when they get a bee in their bonnet to fold a load of laundry, who am I to stop them? Our preschooler can fold just about anything; he gets frustrated when I drop a big load of laundry in front of him and will hum and haw. Once he gets going he is fine. The smaller loads he handles with no complaint. I really, really, really make an effort not to complain about house chores in front of them. They do, after all, have to get done one way or another, so it might as well be cheerfully. I have Philippians 2:14 hanging in their playroom, "Do everything without grumbling or arguing."

As for socializing... We do lots of playdates and activities, some structured (held a paper airplane contest), some not (park picnics or childrens museum trips). There are neighborhood kids to play with at home and homeschooling families that weve really been connecting with since weve moved here. And we are looking into our homeschooling co-op options for next year, joining one of those in the next couple weeks. Hes part of organized sports and, most recently, a preschool piano class. The best thing about homeschooling preschool is that our schedule is open and we are available for playdates and get-togethers that are held during the day. Ive been really excited looking at the co-op options for next year and the homeschool families weve connected with. The other thing Im really excited about is that my hubbys schedule is going to a little crazy next year and homeschooling is going to give us the flexibility to spend as much time as possible with him! I know we havent started the kindergarten year yet or had baby #4 yet, but I loved homeschooling preschool this year and I think kindergarten is going to be even more fun. :)

Picture taken by A McTaggart

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Previous potty training posts:

• Potty training twins: Part 1 {No plan}
• Potty training twins: Part 2 {The next step}
• Potty training twins: Part 3 {Treats}

Not gonna lie... Today was a horrible potty training day.

Which makes me want to write a blog post about how wonderful potty training is going for us-- no sarcasm, in all honesty.

When I talk to people about potty training, everyone has a different view on it. A girlfriend of mine sent her boys to a potty training boot camp (never heard of those before, but, HECK YES, and WHERE IS THE ONE NEAR ME?). I have friends that swear by the three day method-- cover your furniture and let them roam naked for three days and suddenly you have potty trained kids. I have friends that do things slowly, never officially "potty train," just switch to pull ups, let them dabble in underwear, let things ride, and one day their pull ups are dry and they are wetting their beds-- no mess, just potty trained kids.

Whats my view? To me, potty training is a process. A long, long process. Not always hard work and not always messy, but still a process. Potty training, to me, answers this one question: am I involved in the bathroom process? If the answer is "yes" then they are still potty training.

Potty training means continually making forward progress towards the end goal of not being in the bathroom with my children-- not having to wash their hands, clean them up, fasten their pants, or watch the clock and wonder if they have gone potty lately. For instance, I can let our oldest use a public bathroom by himself (though I always wait outside the door for him-- yeah, Im "that" mom). When he comes out of the restroom, I know he washed his hands and dressed himself properly. In comparison, with our toddlers, although they dont have accidents when we leave the house anymore, Im dragging them to the restroom when we arrive at our next errand; Im dragging them to the bathroom before we leave the store; the whole time we are at a playdate Im closely watching them to make sure there are no signs of them needing to use the restroom. Also, just in case, I have a diaper bag fully loaded with plastic bags, clean underwear, and changes of clothes (including socks). When I leave them with our baby-sitter, I give her a heads up about when they last went potty.

Are they driving their potty training? Yeah. They really are. The only time I get on their case about using the restroom is when I would be mortified if they had an accident, like when Im at a girlfriends house and they are sitting on her couch watching a movie or on a playdate at a new friends house. Or when I really dont want them having an accident, like heading out on a longer car ride or when Im making a big Costco run. At home, they are in charge of potty training. Even when we are out, they are the ones telling me when they actually have to go potty. I just cant help but stress about the possibility of accidents because I am their mother a.k.a. the one who has to 1. clean up the accident and 2. apologize for the accident.

So why was today such a horrible potty training day? Because they dont have accidents anymore. They have "on purposes." This morning there was a debacle in the restroom. A toddler removed himself from the toilet before he was all the way clean and ended up making a mess of both the porcelain chair and the floor next to it. Apparently his brothers found this quite amusing and the other toddler decided to recreate this hilarious scene in the playroom later in the afternoon; much to his dismay, his mother did not find it nearly so amusing and he found himself in trouble. The original toddler, attempting to relive his earlier popularity, made his way to the restroom a few short hours after the playroom incident and dramatically reenacted the mornings fiasco. While his brothers could not suppress their giggles, he found he had far less sympathy from his mother the second time around. Actually, all three boys were quickly disciplined and assured this sort of behavior was not welcome in their home. It was an upsetting afternoon for the toddlers-- who seemed shocked they were punished for their antics-- and an unpleasant afternoon for myself-- as I was the one cleaning up the mess.

How is this forward progress?

Hmm, not entirely sure. The only positive outcome from today is that the toddlers now know that under no circumstances do I think using their underwear as diapers is funny or acceptable or okay or "an accident."

What I do know is that they understand what they are supposed to do. Their attempt at humor showed me that they know what is socially expected of them and this was their way of going against the grain.

I dont believe in holding their failures over their head. We forgive and move on in this family. After they were properly reprimanded for their indiscretions, we moved forward. However, when I put them to bed tonight, I gently reminded them that tomorrow is a new day and that tomorrow "we" are going to use the potty all day and when "we" use the potty all day and have no "accidents" then we get a sticker (for more on "we" read Honest Toddlers post, "We").

They seem on board with this plan. My husband and I have taken away all treats during the day except for the big kahuna-- no accidents all day. Weve started pull ups at night, still no idea when we will actually potty train overnight.

My last view on potty training is that there is no right or wrong way. I do believe potty training requires forward motion. Sometimes you realize you are pushing it when your child isnt ready (read, "Try to see it my way") and you need to shelve the potty training plan for the time being. When we first potty trained our first child, we had no idea how we wanted to do it. I researched so much and came up with a plan. Then we rolled up our sleeves and got to work potty training him only to realize that it was a team effort: he needed to be just as on board as we were (read "Why not?" and "Follow up on potty training"). Along the way, we changed tactics. We did what worked. This time around, when one of our twin toddlers demanded to be potty trained, we thought, yeah, lets just potty train both toddlers at the same time, only to discover the other toddler was not ready (read "Potty training twins: Part 1 {No plan}"). Before we knew it, the reluctant toddler was ready to potty train and the treat system we were doing with just one toddler didnt work potty training 2 toddlers at the same time. We changed tactics. The point is, all along the way, we reevaluated and readjusted. We tried things out and tweaked what didnt work. On top of that, the way we went about potty training one toddler wasnt the way we went about potty training his twin brother (one is far more motivated by the desire to potty train and the other by the treats and praise).

Even more so, the things we are doing with our toddlers may not be the things you do with your toddlers. I dont think we are necessarily doing it the best or easiest way for everyone in every circumstance. Im doing it the best and easiest way for me, a stay-at-home mother 23-weeks pregnant homeschooling a preschooler with almost 3-year old twin toddlers demanding to be potty trained at the same time. This is in no way how I potty trained the first time around and probably wont be how I potty train when baby #4 is ready to potty train. I am writing about our experience potty training twins because when I start potty training, I like to read about what other people did and I like when I can glean things I hadnt thought of from other peoples experiences.

So when I say that we are now on day 28 potty training our first toddler ready to potty train and day 11 potty training his twin brother, no, I dont mean that this whole time has been full of accidents. I definitely have not been setting alarm clocks or watching them closely this whole time (actually setting the alarm clock never worked for them, though we did that with their older brother). Save for today, they are not wandering our house having accidents (I would be a total mess if that were the case-- todays stress required a decadent risotto for dinner in order to put it all behind me). Potty training is working out the kinks of everyday life and trusting they will use the bathroom on their own, holding it when need be and using the restroom when they know there wont be another one for awhile. I know which situations are harder for each of the toddlers to deal with-- one has a hard time shortly after we get home from a long day of errands (not sure why when he uses the restroom just fine the whole time we are gone?) and the other just after he wakes up from afternoon nap (dry the whole nap, wakes up groggy and this is the most likely time for him to have an accident). Yes, I stress under new scenarios (friends houses) or when my hands are tied (pushing a huge cart at Costco when Im there alone with the boys), but this time around, with both of the toddlers wanting to be potty trained and pushing for it, has been hands down 100% easier than the first time around when my husband and I were the driving force behind potty training our oldest.

I am sure there will be at least one more blog post on this, definitely when we actually potty train nights (right now we are doing pull ups at night).

Happy potty training, friends. May the force be with you.

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