post pregnancy weight loss in hindi

There was awhile there that I felt ahead of the game. I felt connected to my purpose for being a stay-at-home mother: to support my children and raise them to be the people that God wants them to be, to raise them in a manner that my husband and I had discussed was important to us, to be the familiar face they see day in and day out as Daddy goes to work or as we move from state to state and Daddy eventually goes back to sea, to teach them lifes little lessons as they naturally pop up during the day, and to enjoy these years that slip by so quickly. I struggled at times, especially when teething babies kept me awake at night for days or weeks or when sickness swept through our house and I felt overwhelmed, overworked, overtired. I struggled when I felt my husband had an easier load than I did (and he felt the same way about me-- the grass is always greener?). One thing that remained consistent then is that I would say, "Im struggling today, right now. This is a phase." I felt it in my heart. I didnt want to miss a moment. I wanted to hold on to each day and pull from it every last memory I could, every sticky hug, every wet kiss, every skinned knee I magically healed with momma powers, every squeal of glee when Daddy walked in the door... I loved it. I loved doing it. I loved being there and experiencing the sour infant breath as a baby slept on my chest. I loved rolling my eyes at the arguments of our oldest, a preschooler too big for his britches; his logic makes me laugh out loud.

Lately... lately Im missing my joy. I catch glimpses and glimmers of my old feelings every now and then. I dont know what it is. I feel like we are always home, always wondering what we should do with our day, always figuring out how to dwindle the long evening hours now that the time has changed and it is too dark (and too mosquito ridden) to play outside. I feel like I miss our old duty station and miss our old friends. I feel like I miss our old calendar that always had something fun to do on it, that sparked our kids imaginations. I feel like we are always telling them to go to the playroom here at our new house. I feel like too many toys find their way around this new house-- maybe it is the open floor plan-- but Im constantly tripping on Legos and Duplos and Matchbox cars; it feels cluttered which makes me feel grumpy. I feel far away from my family.

Most of all, I feel like Im always playing catch up. Im late to nearly everything I have planned lately. It takes me much longer to get around here than Im used to. The roads are strange. The way to get places just feels winding. Everything is a trek. I dont know where to run out and get a good lunch with the boys in tow and so Ive eaten much more drive-through chicken here than I would care to think about. I feel like Im playing catch up with my calendar and catch up with my kids. Instead of focusing them in fun activities, Im breaking up fights and disagreements. Instead of keeping their hands busy, Im sending them to the other room. Instead of listening to them, Im telling them to keep it down.

I need a change! Ive hit the winter blues early. Having a nagging cold doesnt help. Having toddlers in the exceptionally trying toddler phase hasnt helped (read "Revolution #9"). I feel like each day Im looking for a break-- when can I catch a break?-- instead of taking control of the day, praying over various aspects of our day, praying over our kids. I need to go back to the basics and stop struggling through these days.

I re-read a blog post I wrote awhile ago called "Marthas and Marys," written after I read When Mothers Pray: Bringing Gods Power and Blessing to Your Childrens Lives by Cheri Fuller. Thats the mom I want to be again.

It is time for a fresh start.

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baby losing weight in hospital

Picture taken by April McTaggart

Every time we move, I end up missing our last duty station. I really miss our last duty station right now. I keep thinking, "This is not my favorite place to live." Before we moved, everyone kept telling me how awesome it is in South Carolina and how much I will love it here. Now that we are here, I feel like, "Well, we cant do this or that with two two-year olds..." or "In North Carolina, I took all three boys all over the place..."

I think it is totally natural to feel this way. However, I have to keep it in check!

I hated our first duty station. I moved from California to New Hampshire, right on the Maine border, in January. By myself. My husbands submarine was a month late. And I didnt have his boat email address at the time or any idea what an FRG or ombudsman was. I was alone and it was cold. There was an ice storm and our Jeep was encased in literally an inch of ice. There was so much snow and my winter shoes consisted of Converse and stiletto leather boots from Nine West. I wasnt prepared. By the time we moved, I was so over the Noreasters and decked out in Columbia and Ugg Boots. Being from Northern California, I didnt think the summers were "hot," as my local neighbors kept telling me they would be. I was over all of it and ready to get the heck out of there and on our way to Hawaii.

When we arrived in Hawaii, I realized I missed this great coffee shop in New Hampshire. And that the hospital I gave birth to our first son in was really, really nice. And that I loved my midwife. I missed walking along the New Hampshire coast. I missed a lot of really delicious local restaurants. Even more so, I realized I had a really bad attitude the entire time we lived in New Hampshire. I didnt like it there and I didnt want to like it there. Things that were so annoying there at the time were funny after we moved. For instance, our apartment complex plowed the parking lots really early in the morning. This meant that by the time I was ready to leave, there would be a snow drift up to the back of our Jeeps rear window that had somehow iced over. My pregnant self would have to knock on our next door neighbors door to again ask to borrow their snow shovel ("When are you going to buy one of these, dearie?" "I dont know...") to chip the Jeep out so I could drive to my OB appointment. I hated doing that at the time, but it makes me laugh now thinking about it.

I vowed that I wouldnt be such a spoil sport at our next duty stations. They dont have to be my favorite places to live and maybe I wouldnt ever want to live there in "real life," you know, not sent-here-by-the-military life. I loved living in Hawaii, but that was easy. My family used to vacation there and I love the beach. I loved the food. I loved our house and where it was located. I loved my neighbors. I had a harder time when we first moved to North Carolina. I had a hard time making friends. We lived way out in the country when we first moved there and everything was a bit of a drive; we eventually outgrew our living arrangements and felt very cramped at home (read "Across town move"). Then we moved to a house with a great yard, a great playroom, and a great location. We thrived. We loved it there. We loved the grocery stores, how many things there were to do with the kids, how inexpensive everything was. We loved the food. We loved the friends we made and the playdates we had; I loved the twin group and their awesome twice yearly consignment sale. We talk about how we want to go back after my husband retires.

Then we moved to South Carolina. We had a rocky start here, a rough time unpacking. Perhaps that was the problem. But then we settled in and there are so many things that I keep comparing to North Carolina. The grocery store situation here is awful. Everything is a drive, like twenty or thirty minutes. I was nervous about moving our asthmatic toddler and the flu shot situation here really put a bad taste in my mouth (read "2013 flu shots"). There seems to be a lot of areas around here that you should avoid at night (not that we go out a lot at night, but we do like to go get ice cream after dinner). I miss our baby-sitters in North Carolina; we still dont have a regular baby-sitter here and Im nervous leaving our asthmatic toddler with someone new (read "0-2 years old: twin must-haves").

When we moved here, people who had been stationed here before gave us a list of areas that we should move to. We debated for awhile what we wanted to do. Do we want to live out in town near things to do with our kids? Or do we want to live near my husbands work? Since we are living in South Carolina for an undetermined amount of time-- could be six months, could be two years-- we decided that living near my husbands work was the priority (read "STA-21 officers program"). That has been the silver lining. He still hasnt classed up yet, but when he does go in for various jobs, he comes home at lunch, or pops in before his next brief. When he does start school, hell be able to come home for dinner or to help put the kids to bed. I really like that. We have both agreed that if we were ever stationed here for a significant amount of time that we would want to choose a different area to live. For now, being here for my husband to go to through school and with such a young family, I do think we made the right the decision. (It doesnt hurt that we absolutely love our house and our neighborhood!)

So Im going to hang in there. Maybe Im just really missing our old friends and our old list of activities. I really liked the childrens museum in North Carolina and the boys loved going there each week; our oldest loved the camps we sent him to there. Maybe Im missing our grocery stores (we lived near a lot of awesome grocery stores). Maybe Im still settling in here. Whatever it is, Im going to give it some time and look for the best here. I dont want to say that I only have to make it work for two years, maximum, but it is true. We only have a little time here and I want to enjoy it to the fullest. Im going to find activities for our kids and Im going to make friends with my neighbors. Im going to put my best foot forward and, when we move again, Ill have no regrets.

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weight loss and gain during pregnancy

We potty trained our oldest when he was three years old-- hes now five years old-- and I am so ready to have our toddlers potty trained as well. However, my husband and I decided awhile ago that we wouldnt potty train our twin boys until they turned three. What led us to that decision?

When our first was a little guy, I dabbled in potty training. I would put him in underwear at 18-months and let him feel what it was like without a diaper. We brought him to the restroom with us and worked on his "potty vocabulary." We encouraged him to try to use the restroom. We asked him when his diaper was full if he was stinky... on and on. We never really pushed the potty training, but we highly encouraged it.

By the time he turned three, he had decided that potty training was not for him. Diapers were great. I would ask if he wanted to use the potty and he said, "No," every time. In fact, he never used the potty until we actually made him potty train. But, when he was just past three and we made him potty train, he exceeded the readiness list (read "Why not?") and we potty trained him days and nights all at once. Why not do it that way?

Our toddlers have thrown us a curve ball. While our oldest demonstrated zero interest in potty training, our toddlers are super excited about it. They are two and half years old right now and love talking about the potty. They love when their older brother uses the potty. They love when we are in the bathroom, either to use the restroom ourselves or to brush their teeth, take a bath, whatever it is that brings us into the glorious restroom. They have used the restroom multiple times. One of them even told us-- on his own initiative-- that he needed to use the restroom for a larger function than just tinkling. Our oldest would never have done that in a million years. In fact, when asked at the same age, he told me, "Ive got my diaper."

Which brings us to another big difference between our oldest and our two toddlers. While D was also a late talker, when he started talking, he really started talking. Our toddlers are dragging in their vocabulary. Right now they are playing and talking and I can make out about 20% of the words they are saying. When Im involved in what they are doing, not just eavesdropping, I can get that number to 50% or so. They are in the midst of this phase where they throw fits about everything. At the park the other day, one of our toddlers threw an epic meltdown when I told him to stop touching things in the parks public restroom (ew, ew, ew, ew).

There are days when the toddlers shake our resolve regarding putting off potty training. A week or so ago, one of our toddlers was obsessed with the restroom. He told us before he had to go potty, after he went potty, and wanted his diaper changed if it was the slightest bit wet. When we were changing a barely wet diaper for him to run and finish in the potty, we thought, "Should we?" We debated the pros and cons, if we wanted to or not. While we see many pros, the con-- their ability to communicate-- remains the same.

Which leads me back to how we potty trained our oldest. Yes, we made him potty train. He was over three years old and literally demonstrated every bullet on the readiness list (on every readiness list I read). When we kicked off the potty training, we handed the responsibility over to him. He became responsible for telling me the timer went off and it was time to try. He became responsible for going potty before we left the house. He became responsible for telling me he had to go potty when we were out and so we had enough time to get to a restroom. He became responsible when he had accidents after he was potty trained. I dont see the toddlers rising to this occasion. I watch them and wonder, but at the end of it, I dont see them taking this on. I see me pushing two toddlers to try. I see me cleaning up accidents for weeks and weeks with little progress. I see a year or more of over night diapers and just-in-case pull ups and carpet cleaner and extra clothes when we leave the house. That is not how I want to potty train.

And so we wait. We wait and let them build their potty vocabulary. We give them praise and a treat when they ask to use the potty. We change their diapers when they ask and make sure to clean up stinky diapers right away (not that anyone with a nose would be able to tolerate a toddler in a stinky diaper for more than 30 seconds anyways). We are viewing potty training in a different light. Potty training is a process and there is a lot that builds up to it. If we teach them that using the potty is the end goal and the words they need to know before switching to underwear all the time, they will comprehend what their role is much more than throwing it all at them at once. If we teach them to understand "no" and "wait," then they will have more control over themselves when we cant access a bathroom immediately or when we tell them accidents happen but not once you are potty trained.

This is not to say that I do not have a countdown until we get our youngest two kids out of diapers: 5 or 6 months. Now if only we could skip the whole "potty training process" and jump straight to three potty trained kids. :)

(Note: we did allow our oldest a period of leniency when he was working on potty training. It is hard to learn that it takes longer to get to a bathroom when you are at a grocery store than at home or that sometimes Momma doesnt know where a bathroom is and has to find it, like at a big mall. However, once he was potty trained, we told him he needs to make it to a bathroom. Again, we made exceptions after big changes that initiated backsliding, like when he was having problems with a bully at preschool and things such as that.)

Blogs I wrote on potty training our oldest:

"Try to see it my way"

"Why not?"

"Follow-up on potty training"

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