baby weight loss in first week

Job Stress Leads To Short Menstrual Cycles

Stress, infertility, and miscarriage all seem to be related especially for women who are on the "career track".
 Here is an interesting study that looked at how job stress can affect the length of your menstrual cycle, which, of course, could affect fertility:

RESULTS

Women whose work was classified as stressful were
twice as likely to experience short cycles as those
working in other jobs (table 2). This relation was also
seen when cycle length was examined as a continuous
variable; stressful work was associated with a decrease
in mean cycle length of almost 1 day...

____________________________________________________

See Also "Short Menstrual Cycles and Fertility (www.getpregnantover40.com)

____________________________________________________
 
...Exposure to stress has a number of known physiologic
consequences (1-3). There are plausible mechanisms
through which stress could alter hormonal profiles
and, in turn, menstrual outcomes (2, 3). The
hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis is activated during
stress and can affect the female reproductive system
(2). Stress can increase the levels of corticotropinreleasing
hormone and glucocorticoids (2). The former
suppresses hypothalamic gonadotropin-releasing hormone
secretion, which stimulates the production of
follicle-stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone,
which activate the ovary to secrete estradiol and progesterone
(3). Glucocorticoids inhibit pituitary luteinizing
hormone and ovarian estrogen and progesterone
secretion (3). High levels of luteinizing hormone and
high peak levels of luteinizing hormone have been
reported to be associated with long menstrual cycles
(30). One possible explanation of work-related stress
and increased risk for short cycle length is that
luteinizing hormone secretion has been inhibited by an
increase in corticotropin-releasing hormone or glucocorticoids.
Menstrual outcomes are important as they may be
intervening mechanisms or markers for other health
outcomes such as fertility, osteoporosis, and breast
cancer (5).
 excerpted from American Journal of Epidemiology

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weight loss during pregnancy when obese

My newborn is not so new anymore (already 6 weeks old!), but I started wearing him in a sling for the first time when he was just 5 days old.

5-day old Little Brother in a woven wrap

I often get asked on what the best way is to wear such a tiny baby. I already wrote previously about how important it is to position your baby in the correct way: with their back arched and their legs spread so their knees are higher than their bottom (froggy legs). This is hard to accomplish in most of the structured carriers (like Ergo), because the babys legs are too small to fit in the carrier properly when they are newborns. The Ergo does have a baby insert, but even there it is quite difficult to get the baby positioned properly. Many people use a Babybjorn for their newborn, but with those it is impossible to attain the recommended position for the baby. So my answer is always that its best to wear your newborn in a wrap. 

Wraps come either stretchy (like the Moby) or woven (like the one Im using in the picture). I like woven wraps better because once you know how to tie them you have more control than with a stretchy wrap. Also, BlueEyes was born in the middle of the summer and where we live a stretchy wrap, with three layers of thick cotton was WAY too hot. Tying a wrap might seem challenging at first, but with a bit of practice its almost like tying your shoe laces. 

Heres a good video (thats not me) of how to do an FWCC (front wrap cross carry) using a woven wrap. I sometimes put a rolled up wash cloth in the top rail of the wrap to add some head support.

And heres a good video (also not me) of how to put your newborn in a stretchy wrap:

 

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weight loss during pregnancy last month

Im always amazed at the number of women who not only get pregnant over 40 naturally, but also women who get pregnant over 50 naturally.  What makes this case remarkable is  the woman in the story got pregnant by surprise at the age of 53, and she was on the pill at the time.  She also admits to a "once in a blue moon" love life!  What are the odds of that?  Her pregnancy had a fairytale ending too.  She carried to term and had a healthy baby after a natural delivery.  
_____________

SEE ALSO: 49 AND PREGNANT (getpregnantover40.com)

_____________

At the time of her pregnancy she also had two grandchildren from her two grown kids.  After delivering her baby, she said her motherly instinct kicked in right a way and her age just was not a factor (except to the doctors who, when finding out her age, automatically assumed she had donor eggs!)

The article also mentions a few other women who had natural pregnancies in their 50s including one at 59 and one at 55!  Researchers from Israel’s Hadassah University Hospital reported at a major European fertility conference that there may be a genetic combination in some women which can  slow aging of the ovaries and protect against cellular damage making older age pregnancies more likely.

from: dailymail

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weight loss after pregnancy over 41

Theres nothing more helpful than a good old app when you are pregnant to give you the all important information on how baby is progressing, what size of fruit or vegetable he or she is and where you can ask, without looking like a total idiot, if you really can eat that cheesecake (though cheesecake-gate is another blog post entirely which you can catch up on here).  I was asked to take a look at a new app called Preggie, which lets you do all of the above and a little bit more. 

Preggie is a free and simple to use app. You download it to your preferred device, then fill in a few details, such as your name, when is baby due and you set up a profile of yourself. 

After youve filled in your information, you immediately get a feed from other pregnant ladies across the country.  Other users upload pictures, questions, status updates and how their pregnancy is progressing.  You can then interact by liking posts, adding your thoughts to threads, uploading your own thoughts and pictures, sending direct messages and following specific users.  

What immediately struck me is the supportive nature of the ladies on the app and the ability to access the app to chat or vent or share a problem, whatever the time of day or night, and be met with supportive comments.  

By including the are where you live, Preggie also lets you connect with women in your local area. Pregnancy can be quite overwhelming and daunting, and I think to know that others feel the same way as you do is very reassuring. I think the location feature of this app is perfect for any pregnant mums who want to find other pregnant mums in their area, want to make new friends, know what groups might be nearby, or even want to compare bump pictures (Im totally guilty of sneakily comparing bump sizes!!!).

As Preggie is just for pregnant mums to be, you know you arent spamming your Facebook timeline or asking people questions who really arent interested about your pregnancy. Everyone is in the same boat, and thats what is so special about this app.  You also receive updates about your pregnancy, and my baby is the size of a corn today if you are interested! 

With any type of social media, you need to be aware of the information you share and apply common sense.  Preggie is strongly monitored which results in a very supportive community for mums-to-be during their pregnancy. 

To try this lovely free app, click on this link to download: Preggie.  

Thanks for reading, 

Preggie asked me to try their app and the above downloadable link is an affiliate link. All opinions are entirely my own and I think Preggie is a lovely little app that is definitely worth taking a look at. 

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weight loss during pregnancy miscarriage

"The terrible twos are a terrible misnomer. 

They imply a finite time frame for behavior that doesnt necessarily have one."

-What to Expect: The Toddler Years, page 446

I dont know how scientific this is, but I really think it is confusing being a two-year old. I dont think they understand why they cant have their cake and eat it too. Yesterday I had a multiples playdate at my house. There were a lot of two-year olds running around and many of them were overwhelmed, including one of mine. He wanted to get down and play, but was intimidated by the noise and the amount of children suddenly appearing in "his" playroom. As I was chatting with another mom, he grabbed my legs and said, "Up! Up!" I picked him up to which he said, "Down! Down!" He wanted to play with the toys on the ground and be held by Momma. After picking him up and putting him down a few times, I told him he had to choose up or down. The poor child looked at the toy, only a few steps out of reach, and looked at his Momma; he couldnt figure out a way to do both.

The things my toddlers are interested in now are so different than the things they were interested in even weeks ago. Their vocabulary is jumping by leaps and bounds. Their dexterity is growing. They are imitating absolutely everything their older brother does (much to his dismay). They imitate everything I do. I catch them feeding the dog-- many times a day-- just because they saw me do it. They want to help with everything and they dont want me to help them do it.

It has to be hard to take so much in. It has to be confusing to suddenly become more aware of the world around you. My last blog post mentioned how I feel about parenting this time around compared to how I felt the first time around (read, "First time mom"). I knew my oldest was hitting age appropriate behaviors, but I felt that he knew better. With C and O, I much more feel they need to be guided towards the appropriate behavior instead of strictly expecting the appropriate behavior. For instance, at two-years old, I would tell my oldest, "You need to sit." He would stand or crouch at the correct spot, say, a park bench, yet I said "sit" so I expected him to sit on his bottom where I told him to. With C and O, not only would it be tiring to enforce that level of obedience as a mother of three children, but they are two! How can I expect a two-year old to sit on the park bench while the other kids are running around with balls, trucks, bubbles, and the like? I expect them to stay near me, standing or sitting. I try to give commands that I know are in the realm of things they can follow.

In many ways, it reminds me of our puppy training classes we took with our dog Louis. The trainer told us to keep him in the "wait" position just past what we knew he could do. If he could sit and wait for 5 whole seconds, keep him in wait for 6 seconds and keep building on it. Our four-year old is capable of sitting on the park bench and waiting until he can go play, but our two-year olds will struggle with it (though our four-year old will struggle with sitting on the park bench if he sees both his brothers are allowed to stand in front of it). I feel like now I try to put them in situations that I know they can do, build on the skills they have.

Their personalities are all so different. Our oldest is a stubborn child, much like his father and mother. One of our toddlers reminds me a lot of him, though D is much more interested in having our approval and attention. C is much more about doing what makes him happy, regardless of how we feel about it. On one hand, that is a good thing (we dont end up in near so many Battle of the Wills) and on the other it is not (if he wants to do something, he wont be happy until hes done it). O is much more happy-go-lucky and mellow. I call him my bohemian baby because he just wants to kick his shoes off and play with his toys. While C is following D around and trying to play with him, O is crawling into my lap with a book. The "Terrible Twos," as they are called, have played out differently with all of them. While D was a breathholder from 6 weeks to 3-years old, weve only had two breathholding episodes from C and none from O.

I think they get called the Terrible Twos for a number of reasons. They come out of nowhere. One week you are loving how excited your toddler is about life and learning new things and the next week you are staring at a writhing, red-faced toddler on the floor of Target wondering where this new behavior has come from. The Terrible Twos also come with a surge of independence. Things that never were a problem before suddenly become knock down drag-out, all-in battles. Transitioning from activity to activity becomes challenging. He wants to be out of his room, but he doesnt want you to lift him over the gate or open the gate or help him in any way. He doesnt want you to brush his teeth or take off his shirt. You want to allow some independence, yet it is hard when they wont allow you to help at all, whatsoever, dont even look at them with a helpful look on your face.

I gave the toddlers ice cream cones the other day. It started melting down their hands, which was very upsetting. Neither toddler could eat another bite until their hands were properly cleaned. They wouldnt let me wipe their hands. They wouldnt hand me their cones so they could wipe their own hands. They wouldnt use their free hand to wipe the dirty hand. We were stuck. It ended up being that I wiped their hands quickly while they flailed in anger, making more of an ice cream mess, upsetting them more, because now instead of some ice cream melting onto their hands, they had ice cream drips on their pants and shirts. By the end of it, I wanted to just throw the ice cream cones away and forget about the whole thing. It was exhausting.

Today we went to the movies. One of the toddlers did pretty well, as I thought he would. The other did horrible. He wanted to grab the seat in front of him. He wanted to drag his blanket in the bucket of popcorn and rip the lids off cups. He didnt want to sit in his seat, or my lap, or stand quietly in the row. He stood and whined and moaned. I tried ignoring him, hoping he would stop, but no. He moaned, like Harry did in When Harry Met Sally. I didnt want to leave my husband with one toddler and our preschooler, in case the toddler cried that I left the theater or acted out later, causing our preschooler to miss the movie. So I took both toddlers out of the theater. The toddler who was behaving well in the theater thought it was fun walking down the stairs with Mommy and fun walking into the lobby with Mommy. The other toddler didnt really know what was going on until we started walking outside toward the car and he lost it. He threw himself on the ground screaming, "Movie! Movie!" He wouldnt use his legs. He kicked and screamed. I tried picking him up and he flailed so hard I thought I would drop him. Im standing on the curb of the movie theater with one toddler holding on to the Hold-On Handle and the other toddler face down on the concrete, my purse stuffed full of diapers and wipes and a tote bag full of their lovies, wondering how on earth I was going to make it to the car.

Its a phase. I know it is a phase. In a recent blog post about toddler twins ("Keep calm and carry on"), I mentioned a woman who was a bit of a Debbie Downer to me about whether it gets easier or harder. I made the point that I dont think it gets easier; it just gets better. My oldest had temper tantrums like this until he was three-years old and then they morphed into a whole new beast: The Three-Year Old. I dont know, maybe three-years old will be easier with these guys. They have different personalities; they have someone to play with whereas my oldest had to entertain himself a lot more. We are hitting another phase with our four-year old as we are dealing with the Terrible Twos. School has let out for the summer and I think it has sunk in that he wont be seeing his preschool teachers again or going back to school with his classmates. It breaks my heart thinking of how much he loved that school and misses being there.

Ive decided Motherhood moves in waves. Some waves you can ride to shore, some throw you under, and some you have to dive through. Were trying to dive through this wave right now. We know it is a big wave, a hard wave that will beat us into the seabed if we let it carry us. We know this isnt the only wave and that there will be more waves someday in the future, bigger waves that are even harder to handle than this one. Just like when you are at the beach, we are taking one wave at a time-- focusing on making it through this one. Some people just want to survive each wave. We want to survive the wave with style. My oldest loves watching surfing. I was thinking last night about this and how when these waves start hitting us, I need to channel my inner surfer, like a surf competition. I Googled "vintage surfing images" and came across this one at Surf for Sanitys blog:

Image courtesy of Surf for Sanity at "Vintage Surfing Book Review-- Jim Heimann"

That picture is so corny; I love it. I want to take all this busyness and turn it into something positive. I want to ride the waves with style. What to Expect: The Toddler Years by Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg, Sandee Hathaway, B.S.N., and Sharon Mazel says on page 45 in the revised and updated 2nd edition regarding "Toddler Negativism:"

Your toddlers negative behavior is not a reflection on you (as a parent) or your child (as a person). All children, usually beginning early in the second year (and occasionally even earlier), go through a negative phase. In some children, its short-lived and half-hearted; in others, petulance is more persistent. Either way, a toddler cant control his compulsion to resist authority any more than he can control teething or growing. His testing of your authority is healthy and normal, a vital form of self-expression, an essential part of ego building, an important step on the road of personhood.

The next paragraph on the subject in What to Expect: The Toddler Years begins with this cheery sentiment, "Knowing that a toddlers negative behavior is healthy and normal, however, doesnt necessarily make it easier to live with." No kidding! Here is a picture of Goofy eating it on a wave; I dont want this to be me (though this is what Ive felt like all week!):

Image courtesy of Pin Pics, pin 9019

Ive also found a lot of comfort talking to other moms who have "been there" or are going through it as well. It is nice to hear about things that help ease the toddlers frustration (consistency and routine) and ways to ease your frustration (baby-sitter and Sam Adams Summer Ale). Ive really started participating a lot more in my local twin mom group just to hear what other moms are doing with their toddlers to get through this phase.

Double Trouble? I posted a blog post recently called "Comments" about things people say to me when I go out with twins. I really do believe in the "give peace a chance" and "live and let live" vibe I put out in that blog post. I posted a blog awhile ago called "We are moms" with the intention of bringing twin moms and singleton moms a little closer together. We all say the wrong thing sometimes. We are all going through this. I love talking about my kids and we are trying to raise polite, well-mannered boys.

Ready for the however? Since weve been going out with our "Terrible Twos Double Trouble," as Ive heard so often lately, Ive been getting a lot of the wrong kind of attention. This afternoon when we were leaving the movie theater, I was struggling to get my two toddlers to the car as one of them was throwing an epic meltdown. While the other was staying close, I still had to keep an eye on him to make sure he held on to the Hold-On Handle as we slowly made our way through the bustling parking lot. Four adults stood within arms length of me and started asking me questions about my twins as we did this. "Oh, twins? How old are they? My sisters son has twins..." I was literally dragging one of my two-year olds along by the back of his sweatshirt. I really, really,really wanted to tell them that if they had any twin questions for me, I would be happy to answer them as they helped carry my bags to the mini van three spots up.

And that outing I mentioned in "Keep calm and carry on?" There was a restaurant full of people at Chick-Fil-A watching this happen and no one held the door for us as we left. No one offered to carry anything to car for me. And several people said, "Oh, twins? I dont know how you do it! My goodness!"

I found the patience when it was two babies that I could control, even if crying in a stroller, but when Im struggling to control my twin toddlers who are having meltdowns, that is not the time to tell me about how you once thought you were going to have twins because your cousins brothers wife did.

I think moms of singletons also hear a lot of comments when going out with their little ones. I heard a lot of random, bizarre, and poorly timed comments going out when I just had D. As I said, he was a breathholder. When he would throw a tantrum in public, people would either avoid me, look at me in a way that read "That will never be my child," or give me unsolicited and sometimes rude advice, "Back in my day..."

Here is a made up conversation that Ive never had while out with one two-year old throwing a temper tantrum:

Stranger: "Single trouble?"

Me: "Yeah... Bud, you have to walk. Right now. One... two..."

Stranger: "My nieces husbands sister has a little boy."

Me: "Oh, really? Thats wonderful. Bud, I mean it, you have to walk."

Stranger: "Yeah. How old is he?"

Me: "Um, hes two. Bud. Use. Your. Legs."

Stranger: "Wow. Two-years old. You have your hands full."

Me: "Yes. Bud, if you dont listen, we will have to leave."

Stranger: "I cant imagine having one. I mean, seriously. How do you keep up with him?"

Me: "Allright, we have to go bye-bye. We do not throw ourselves on the ground and scream."

Stranger: "Wow! How do you keep up with him?"

Me: "Its busy. But I have to go. I think its time for nap. Come on, bud."

Stranger: "[Hollering to spouse] Honey, you have to come look at this! She has a two-year old boy with her."

Me: "Bud, I gave you a warning. Stop throwing. One... two..."

Strangers spouse: "Omigoodness!  A two-year old! Did my wife tell you that my nieces husbands cousin has a little boy?"

Stranger: "I thought it was your nieces husbands sister?"

Strangers spouse: "No, Im certain its his cousin."

Me: "Im sorry, but I have to go. You have a nice day! Bud, we dont throw."

Stranger: "Can we take a picture of your two-year old?"

Me: [Looking at my red-faced, screaming two-year old kicking his legs while throwing french fries out of the stroller seat I just stuffed him into] "Umm, I would prefer not. Come on, bud. We are going."

Stranger: "Okay, just one. Real quick. Honey, where is the camera?"

Me: "Im sorry. Im leaving. Have a good day." [walk away]

Stranger: [to spouse] "Can you imagine having a two-year old boy?"

[Both strangers watch as I struggle to open door while pushing a stroller and shake their heads in disbelief that I have a two-year old.]


Heres to channeling your inner surfer! :)

Image courtesy of Celadon in "Happy Birthday USA"

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rapid weight loss during late pregnancy

  Every day in every way, its getting better and better.

-John Lennon

 

I think Ive cracked the code on what people mean when they knowingly tell you, "It gets easier." For the longest time, Ive wanted to ask these people, "What on earth do you mean by that? Ive heard this since my oldest was born!" Four years and change and here is what I think they mean: survival and self-sufficiency.

Survival: you get through it.

When you have a newborn, you first must learn to feed it. This "gets easier" with practice. Feeding a one-year old can actually be much harder than feeding a newborn (dont freak out, new moms). Newborns dont throw food across the room or refuse to eat something because it is squishy/mushy/crunchy/green. You also pretty much know what a newborn will eat: breast milk or formula. One-year olds demand variety (or, perhaps, the same thing for every meal, turning mealtimes into a battleground). But-- here is the big but-- you have it down by then. You have been feeding this infant for a year and you feel like you can handle it. This is why I think it is survival. I did not feel like "it got easier," necessarily. It was nice not to leave the house with Boppy pillows, bottle warmers, breast pads, and burp cloths. However, I felt like I traded in Mustela for Munchkin: snack containers, leaking sippy cups, sandwich boxes, and a never ending demand for chopped fruits and veggies.

The light at the end of the tunnel: preschool age. We can find food for our four-year old on any menu. We can tell him, "We are finishing our dinner. After dessert we are going home. You need to be a gentleman until then," and he sits. No screaming at the table or that dramatic lean over of the side of the high chair as if he hasnt been fed in years. No throwing everything off his plate onto the floor or dragging in a diaper bag, snack container, sippy cups. Nope. If we are going to a restaurant, I usually put a coloring pad in my purse.

The other side of survival is simply just getting through it. Dealing with a newborns feeding schedule can be rough, then you have the sleep schedule. Once you get that down, you are again focusing on feeding-- starting solids. Once you have solids down, then you are dealing with transitioning to one nap. Then you have a toddler who battles afternoon nap for no apparent reason. Then doesnt like these textures or those textures. Then suddenly you have a two or three year old who wont nap at all, though he really needs a nap. By four oclock in the afternoon, it is one meltdown after another, even though you imposed "quiet time" earlier in the day. Somehow, you just get through it. You take each phase as it comes. And then he is four. He is just fine without a nap and sometimes takes one anyways (oh, those glorious afternoons!). You look back and realize that you arent dealing with the "does he need a nap?" or "is he hungry?" questions all day. You got through it.

Self-sufficiency: it does come.

A newborn cant even hold up his head, let alone feed himself, change himself, bathe himself, entertain himself. Once he gets mobile, he spends every waking hour trying to hurt himself, it seems. Light socket? Lets jab something in it. Bookcase? Im gonna climb it. Oven? Lets figure out how it opens. You worry when he is "too quiet" in the other room; what has he gotten into? With twins, you have two toddlers who throw toys; two toddlers who empty your bookshelves; two toddlers who want to play with big brothers Playmobile pirate set and Legos; two toddlers who dump plates of food off their highchairs. Diapers. Sippy cups. Baths. Changing clothes. Putting on jams. Reading stories. Playing/entertaining. All on your shoulders.

And then the magical age: four. Our fully-potty trained preschooler gets up in the night to use the restroom, washes his hands, turns off the light, and goes back to bed. He is responsible for all areas in the restroom-- no more calling for help on the, um, bigger tasks. He dresses himself every morning, puts on his socks and shoes, and puts his pajamas in the hamper. He picks up his toys. He showers himself. The other day, I moved the laundry while he showered. Oh, the freedom! He got out of the shower, brushed his teeth, hung up his towel, and then put on his pajamas. He can write his name. He can count to thirty. He knows a few sight words. He recognizes some letters and their sounds. He tells jokes and makes us laugh. He has ideas and wants to help fix things. (He keeps the tape in his room so he can fix his toys.) If you had told last year Me that one day my kids would take care of themselves, I would have laughed. The idea seems ludicrous when you are down in the diaper trenches. But it happens.

I call myself a deliberate optimist; Im a pessimist at heart. With every give, there is a take. There is much less hands-on work with four-year olds. Preschoolers are absolutely nothing like infants or toddlers. It is busier, especially with a preschool schedule. He is a little kid now, his own person. My husband is in the STA-21 program and it has been a crazy, busy semester. Maybe the stress of balancing all these different schedules is getting to me, but, really, when does this get easier? Will it be easier when I have three boys preschool age and up involved in outside activities (D currently participates in a sports class and AWANAS)? I dont see how three sports schedules on top of school will be easier, especially throwing in the Navy.

It gets better, thats what I think. I have so much fun laughing with D and hearing his thoughts. We do silly art projects and work on sight words. I love seeing the world from his point of view. We spent thirty minutes in the Lego store today just looking in the little windows at the Lego creations. My friends can tell you that I used to swear that I was a "baby person." I love me some babies. But interacting with my own preschooler-- our child-- has really made me marvel at the things he has to say... I cant get enough of it. In that way, it gets better. Easier, not yet.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

-The Beatles?

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is weight loss good during pregnancy

We moved to South Carolina at the end of August for my husband to go through the pipeline (again). The first class up date for power school, October, my hubby did not get picked up. This week they put out the list of who will be classing up this time and my husbands name was on the list.

This morning when he came home and told me he was classing up, I was very surprised by my disappointment. Weve never been "on hold" like we have been here. He has had to muster twice a week while on hold, but he was home before 8 am every morning. By the time I got out of bed, he had already fed the boys breakfast and was cleaning up the kitchen, even on muster days. That was a definite bonus. By mid-November, I think we started grating on each other though. I really wanted him to class up soon. I told my mom, "If he doesnt class up this time, we are going to kill each other!" We dont have a busy calendar here and so we were all spending a lot of time at home together-- all.day.long. Wonderful for a month or so, but it is now December and we have been doing this since he graduated college in August (granted we did move from North Carolina to South Carolina during that time and he completed indoc, but, still, mostly just spent here at home). It is amazing how irritating little things can become when you spend all day, every day with someone.

Then we went on mini-vacation during Thanksgiving weekend. We spent four days at the beach with no plans, just hanging out as a family, away from our house and the day to day routine. We had so much fun. It was so refreshing coming home after that. And we talked about things we could do if he didnt class up this time... And I started thinking, "Oh, it would be nice if we could do this and that..."

So this morning I realized how much things will change around here. He fed the boys, as usual, this morning. While I got ready, he got the boys ready. While I was out of the house with the boys, he cleaned up the house and did the dishes. It really struck me just how much of a help he has been around here and how petty and silly the little things are. He would get irritated with me taking so long to get ready-- reading and talking on the phone to my sister while getting ready. I would get irritated with him for filling up the hamper after making a trip into his closet or not having the boys clean up their messes as they went. Today, that stuff all seemed silly. He gladly played with the boys while I chatted with my sister this morning, telling me to enjoy my last couple leisurely mornings. (Can I even emphasize how nice it is to have two parents home in the morning???) And when we got home, I noticed all the stuff he did do instead of all the stuff he didnt do and how much I appreciate him doing those things.

As for my feelings now that it has sunk in that hes classing up, Im fine with it. We came here for him to go through the pipeline and now hes started. Im surprised at how stressful it was to find out when he was classing up. For the October class he was told yes and no all the way up to the day school started. The next classes will probably be more of a roller coaster, SOBC and prototype. SOBC is unaccompanied in Connecticut. Prototype is either here or in upstate New York. I think Ill have a Navy wife heart attack if they tell him, "Oh yeah, you are classing up next week for prototype... in upstate New York." But I wont will do my best not to stress out about that until power school is over.

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healthy weight loss during pregnancy

Ready to get their flu shots

To start this off, I am NOT against military clinics. I know many people immediately start looking for the bad when going to a military clinic or automatically assume the doctors arent as good or whatever. We have used three military treatment facilities (MTF) so far in my husbands naval career and two civilian providers, this being our third MTF. I knew what to expect heading back to the MTF. Before moving here, I was very nervous about moving our asthmatic toddler from our last pediatricians office. They were wonderful there and knew his whole history, what his triggers are, what medicines hes been on, etc. They took excellent care of our boys there, especially O, and I was nervous to move right before cold and flu season. (Read "Reactive airways.")

When I walked into the clinic here in South Carolina, I was impressed. It seriously looks like a mini Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. I have been seen quickly both times I went to the clinic, no long wait times. The pharmacy moves right along and they have a drive up window. The staff is great. The lab is quick. They even have an email service that Ive used several times. I have sent my doctor emails that reach her nursing staff. They have replied to my messages promptly, within 30-40 minutes or first thing the next morning if I sent one at the end of business day.

Downside?

It is October 23rd and they still do not have flu vaccines available to dependents.

There are posters all over the clinic advertising the importance of getting a flu vaccine and they still have no definite date on when flu shots will be available to dependents. My PCM even told me, "They say next week, but theyve told us next week every week." So I asked her, "Can we get a referral or prescription and go out in town?" She kind of beat around the bush in the office and I didnt have a place I knew we should go, so I didnt press the issue. She did emphasize before I left how important it is for me to get O his flu shot since his asthma and medical history puts him in a high risk category.

On top of this, South Carolina seems to have very strange laws regarding vaccines for minors. No child under the age of 6 (the age I heard most consistently from pharmacists) can get a vaccine without a prescription from their doctor, meaning no walk-in flu shots. I called Walgreens, Rite Aid, Target, and local urgent cares. Consistently, we were denied flu shots for our two and a half year olds, some said they would be willing to give our five-year old his flu shot. I even offered to pay out of pocket since flu shots are, what, $15 or $20? No, flu shots are $31.99 (times three, since we have three boys), but even paying out of pocket, they still would not give our toddlers the flu shot.

I found a nearby CVS and asked the pharmacist what I had to do to get our boys, including the toddlers, a flu shot there. She said, "Oh, just have your doctor send over a prescription and we can give it to them no problem. We accept Tricare Prime." I went home and messaged my doctor. She sent me back a message this morning denying my request. She told me to take them to the Health Department.

I ended up having to post a thread in a wives group where someone tipped me off about CVSs Minute Clinics. I found our closest Minute Clinic (a little over half an hour away) and we all drove over there this morning. Here is the link to the Humana website with the Minute Clinic information: "Convenient Care May Still Need a Referral." I called Minute Clinic (link to their website: Minute Clinic) and got specific information about the clinic I was going to take the boys too, confirming that they would accept Tricare Prime, that they would administer the vaccine to two and a half year olds, and that they did have childrens flu shots in stock. My husband, being active duty, was already given his flu shot by the Navy and, finding this to be quite the ordeal, I had already gone to Target for my flu shot the week before.

The Minute Clinic has a highly irritating automated answering system. When I finally reached a representative, I was feeling frustrated by this whole process. The guy on the phone was really nice and very helpful. I actually hung up smiling, glad to finally have somewhere to get their flu shots. The woman at the Minute Clinic was an angel, seriously. She was so sweet to our screaming two-year olds and actually managed to give our five-year old his shot without him bursting into tears (he has a fear of shots right now). Getting there was challenging, but CVS made the process as painless as possible. We even got a 20% coupon that we used to buy the boys candy for being so brave. Even our cashier was sweet, telling the boys how good they were.

I am really irritated with how our flu shots were handled at the MTF. I feel like they have basically thrown their hands in the air and said, "Oops! We dont have them yet! Gotta wait!" Come to find out, most of our neighbors do not have their flu shots yet. Ive heard from several people that they find this process so irritating that they dont get them anymore. I have never had this experience with Tricare, at a different MTF, Prime, or Prime Remote. I even asked our doctor if there was an exception for high-risk patients to get their flu shots (me and O) and she said no.

Im still give the MTF a chance. Im switching PCMs, at least for the kids, and seeing if there is a different doctor that we connect with more. Right now, Im just glad that our whole family has their flu shots!

Here is a link to the immunizations page of the health department, by state: "State Health Department Immunizations Websites."
(Without insurance, flu shots are $25 at the Health Department in South Carolina.)

 

Here is a link to an article I really liked about being pro-vaccine: "Im Coming Out... as Pro-Vaccine."

 

My blog post on "RSV and premature babies," outlining Os 4-day stay in the PICU with RSV.

 

My blog post about the "2012-2013 RSV season," when O got the Synagis vaccine.

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As luck would have it, the Navy brought an old friend back into our lives! I love that aspect on military life, the possibility of being stationed with friends again! Our neighbor from Hawaii just moved to South Carolina and now lives basically down the road from us. The last time I saw her, my oldest was about the age of her little 1-year old son. Now I have a 5-year old and 2-year old twins. She has a sweet, bubbly 1-year old who was content snacking on Plum Organic Puffs in a high chair while her and I caught up. As you can imagine, my boys were less than agreeable.

2 and a half is just a straight up hard to manage age. It is difficult to deal with when you have one child. It is even more difficult with two 2 and a half year olds. Even more difficult than that? When you also have an older sibling in the mix. The toddlers want everything their older brother touches. They take his toys, they try to climb in the chair hes sitting on. If hes playing on the floor, they want to climb on his back, wrestle with him. If hes outside, they want to go outside with him. And, of course, he can always get an argument going. They will be sitting at the table and hell walk over and say, "No." Out of the blue. No context. Nothing to do with what they are doing. Just, "No." Immediately their panties get in a knot, "Yes!" they scream. He counters, "No." And so a heated debate ensues, "Yes!" "No." "Yes!" "No." "Yesyesyesyesyesyes!" "Nononononono!"

To quote the Grinch, "Oh, the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE!"

I feel like the boys were so badly behaved during that whole playdate. Im definitely not saying that normally they are extremely well behaved, but things that normally arent such an issue were really difficult. Like, for some reason, our 5-year old started throwing his napkin in the air while sitting at the table eating lunch. He has literally never done that before. I was sitting with my girlfriend in the playroom, chatting, and we heard the loudest clanging coming from the family room. One of the toddlers had filled a bucket with blocks and dumped it upside down all over the floor. There were toys strewn everywhere. The toddlers screeched, "Noooo," when I told them to do something (honestly, so did our 5-year old). Our toddlers normally get tired and grouchy around 1 or 2, signaling naptime. They were behaving like they needed a nap at 12:30 pm! Omigosh, I think I apologized for interrupting our conversation to mediate arguing, screaming children like 10 times. When my husband came home that evening, I told him that it was just embarrassing.

My girlfriend, of course, was super sweet and didnt seem phased at all by our boys behavior. It is times like that that I wish I had a video of how things "normally" are around here, just so I can say, "It really isnt normally like this." Yes, things are normally busy. We normally have some degree of brotherly disagreements. We normally have a couple accidents, someone fell or something broke. We normally end up slightly off schedule or slightly late. We normally eat dinner a smidgen later than I wanted to. The toddlers are normally unpredictable at meal times-- will they eat today? Our 5-year old is normally extremely curious-- which has led to experiments gone awry. But normally it is just the right amount of chaos to keep each day exciting, keep me on my toes, keep things fun. Normally I dont need a referee whistle.

As a mom, it can be hard when your kids dont behave. In this instance, I really wanted them to put their best foot forward. I think I feel most self conscious of their behavior when hanging out with a mom who has younger kids than ours, when they havent "been there" yet. Now that our oldest is 5, some of the behaviors that I disagreed with in older children when he was an infant, I have found are just 5-year old behaviors. Some things I felt we would be strict on, we arent. Some things I thought we would be relaxed about, we arent. Some things I felt were signs of bad parenting, I dont anymore. Some things I felt were signs of good parenting, I dont anymore. It still can be hard when our kids arent being the sweet boys I know they can be, when they dont show the charming sides of themselves that we see. When the only glimpse given to a new (or new to them) friend isnt the glimpse I would have chosen.

This is why Im grateful for the friends in our life. Yeah, my girlfriend was probably a little overwhelmed yesterday. A 1-year old is seriously adorable, especially her sweet little boy. But she was understanding and actually wants to meet up with us again soon! :) Im not just grateful for our non-judgmental mommy friends. I mean all our good friends, our married friends without kids who truly enjoy hanging out with us and who always are exceedingly sweet to our boys (seriously, who wouldnt love people that not only say they love our boys, but who also play with them while I clean up dinner? Yeah. Fabulous). Our adult friends-- single, dating, engaged-- that find our busy family fun. My girlfriends that chat with our kids on the phone, that have special treats for them when we come to visit, that are available when we come to town for a girls night out (I love when my girlfriends love my kids and I love when my girlfriends take me out without my kids! Lol!). I love our friends who also have big families, like the friends I made in North Carolina with kids spaced like ours, twins and a singleton, or families with kids similar ages as ours, like a new friend made here in South Carolina. It is nice to be able to tell someone that the kids went nuts when company came over and they truly relate. Haha! :)

 

And, of course, friends like the gal I met up with yesterday who have littler kids than ours, who are accepting of our boys-- the good, the bad, and the downright toddler tantrums. I know from first hand experience how it feels to hold your sweet, well-behaved infant and watch a toddler have an epic meltdown over, say, a napkin. I know how it feels to think, "I will handle that much differently." I know how it feels to be absolutely surprised when my adorable toddler is face down and red-faced when company comes over or snatching toys at a playdate (or worse, snatching toys and then hitting his friends with those toys). I think that is part of the reason why I feel so self-conscious of the boys behavior in those situations, because I was that gal with the little guy before and I know what I thought on many occasions.

It really has been a humbling experience for me being on the other side of this scenario, the one with more kids, older kids. I hope that I can be the friend to these gals that my friends with more and older kids were to me back then.

What do you do when your kids misbehave?

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Male Factor Fertility and Exercise

As the old saying goes, "everything in moderation".
We know that women shouldnt do high impact and stenuous exercise while they are trying to conceive or already pregnancy.  This holds true for men and exercise as well. Moderate exercisers had the best sperm motility. Read more:

SEE ALSO: MALE FACTOR INFERTILITY AND IMPROVING SPERM COUNT NATURALLY (getpregnantover40.com)

(HealthDay News) — Men who get moderate amounts of exercise have better sperm motility than men who are less or more physically active, a new study finds.

Motility refers to the sperm’s ability to swim and move towards an egg, an important factor in fertility.

The study by researchers at Yamaguchi University in Japan included 215 men who provided semen samples and information about their physical activity levels. The men were divided into three groups: strenuous, moderate or light exercise. Age and body mass index were similar among the three groups.

The moderate-exercise group had the highest average sperm motility and the fewest men with less than 40 percent sperm motility (14.3 percent), while 31 percent of those in the light-exercise group and 27 percent of those in the strenuous-exercise group had less than 40 percent sperm motility.

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With some pillows and a boppy its totally possible to nurse a baby and type on your computer at the same time. However, sometimes being trapped under a nursing and/or sleeping baby is a perfect excuse to watch some tv. Just now I watched this highly recommendable (but not subtitled) homecountry show about the Elfstedentocht in 1997. It nearly made me cry from all the nostalgic feelings. Since 98% of my readers are not from my homecountry, I should probably explain.

The "Elfstedentocht" (eleven cities tour) is an ice-skating event that last happened in 1997. To me that sounds like yesterday, but in reality thats 17 years ago (crap, that makes me feel kinda old). This event is a 200 km (120 mile) skating tour on natural ice in one of the northern provinces in the homecountry. A province so far away that people even speak their own language. Every year the main question during the winter is whether this epic tour is going to take place or not. Only 16.000 people can skate during this event and the other 16 million inhabitants of the homecountry travel to said province to party and encourage the skaters. But with global warming and such, the last time the ice was thick enough to hold this many people was in 1997. So we nostalgically look back and wonder when the next time will be. In the meantime, there are a bunch of "alternative Elfstedentochten" where people skate 120 miles on ice somewhere else in the world and theres a host of other Elfstedentochten, where people use rowing boats, bicycles, motor cycles and what not to complete the same route. Yours truly cycled the tour once and rowed it twice (but with rowing its a relay race, I should add).

The entire internet could not provide me with a clip with English subtitles but heres the 1997 finish. Also, this was the winter fashion in 1997. Also quite interesting.

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post pregnancy weight loss quickly

Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. As you read this I will be somewhere in America on holiday with my husband and daughter.  I thought Id do a quick post as to my plane essentials. I love the anticipation of holidays, so I have been doing alot of YouTube watching and blog reading to find out what products are recommended for travel.  Without further ado, heres my top flight essentials. 

Soap and Glory Sexy Mother Blusher

I had never tried a cream blush before, but I am now converted.  This blush stick has a lovely creamy texture and blends in easily.  I plan to pop this on before we arrive at our destination so my cheeks will have that pinky glow even if my skin is far from glowing naturally. This is such a convenient stick and less messy than carrying my blush powder and brush. 

Deodorant

I will never use anything other than Dove deodorant.  This is a staple. 

Lip balm and hand cream

Obviously. 

Pain relief sachets

As a mum, I always have to be within an arms reach of some kind of pain relief, just in case of sudden fever or pain.  These sachets are fantastic as they contain a single recommended does of paracetamol and ibuprofen. They are the perfect size for popping in your bag and for travel. 

Toothbrush and toothpaste

I am that strange lady that always steals hotel toiletries.  This is a stolen toothbrush from somewhere.  Its perfect for the plane.  Nobody likes fuzzy teeth. 

Origins Drink Up Intensive Overnight Mask

I had read lots of rave reviews of this product so thought I would give it a go. Normally when I travel, no matter how much moisturiser I put on, my skin resembles that of an iguana when I disembark the plane. My plan is to go bare faced for the flight, with just my eyebrows done and some mascara.  I then plan to apply this mask throughout the flight.  The mask is a clear gel, and after only a few minutes of applying it, I find it has sunk into my skin.  Its deeply moisturising and my skin looks healthy and plump after using it. It contains gorgeous ingredients such as apricot kernel, avocado oil and mango butters and it smells delicious. The best bit is you dont have to wash it off as it is absorbed into the skin. 

So thats my plane essentials and Im ready to go! Are there any flight essentials that I have missed? Comments below please! 

P.S Yes there are a few Ive missed.  Hand sanitiser and baby wipes. Yep. Think thats everything. Bye!

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So Im trying my first "link up" and Im not sure if Im doing this right, so please bear with me. I discovered this blog, "Eights on the Move," and she does a Military Monday topic where people link their blogs up to hers and answer the questions posted on the topic. This weeks topic is about Family Planning. Here is the link to her blog to see what other people posted, "Military Monday: Family Planning."

Being a military family influences many aspects of your life. For instance, you never know if your husband will actually be present for your plans. Some plans are fine, like a family movie night that you really wanted to have-- easy enough to cancel or reschedule. Some are frustrating, like family pictures with a professional photographer ("Um, can you Photoshop my husband in...?"). Some are emotional, like your wedding; my husband didnt tell me at the time of our wedding that he did not know until a couple days before our wedding that he would be able to make it. He didnt tell me until afterwards because he thought it would "stress me out." Since he was able to make it, I guess it really doesnt matter either way. I did ask him how I would have felt if he told me two days before the wedding that he couldnt make it... talk about stress!

Other things are just straight up complicated, like planning when to have a baby. If you have been following my blog, you have read about my miscarriage and partial molar pregnancy. We planned on having Baby #4 in North Carolina. My husband had no duty days or underways going through college. We didnt have to deal with a boat schedule. It was the perfect time to have our last baby. You know, until we miscarried and then discovered it was a molar pregnancy and I needed to have weekly and monthly blood tests before we could get cleared to try again...

The wrench was thrown into our plans and it had nothing to do with the Navy.

When is the perfect time to have a baby as a military family?

Honestly, there isnt a perfect time for us. We never feel that our finances are in the right place or that our plans are under control. Ive never felt in shape enough or prepared enough to welcome our newest family member or family members-- definitely didnt feel prepared for twins!

After being a military spouse for almost 7 years now, I have come to the realization that the only certainty with military life is uncertainty. You never know what life will throw at you. And once you have that little person in your life to care for, you still have the other aspects of military life to contend with. Our oldest came down with reseola during one of my husbands underways when we were living in Hawaii. My parents, on the east coast and 6 hours ahead of me, were powerless to help, despite my many tearful phone calls to my mom. He had a fever over 105, projectile vomiting all over my bedroom, and I was frantically getting us to the car to head over to the emergency room in the middle of the night. I did not know at the time that he had a common childhood illness; I just remember thinking, "Please be okay. I do not want to send a Red Cross message to the boat with a horrible message about our son." I was terrified and my husband was out to sea.

We did luck out with our timing for having twins. My husband was picked up in the STA-21 program and sent to North Carolina for 3 years to get his degree in mechanical engineering. Shortly after arriving, we found out I was pregnant with identical twins. I thanked God every night that my husband wouldnt be going underway or standing duty on a boat, that he would be home every.single.night. The pieces fell together perfectly.

This time around, God has His own perfect timing in mind. I really thought it would be perfect to have our last baby at the same OBGyn that we delivered our twins at, that we should have the baby before we moved to South Carolina. It just felt perfect to me. We dont know when the perfect time is now. We have no idea what my husbands schedule will be. First we hear he will be in the October class for power school, then he wont, then he will... I dont know. I dont know how long we will be living in South Carolina. I dont know how long it will take us to get pregnant. I dont know if there are good OBGyns close by who I would trust as much as I did our last OBGyn, especially considering my history (first pregnancy miscarriage, second pregnancy induced early for medical reasons, third pregnancy identical twins, fourth pregnancy a partial molar).

For us, the right decision is to proceed with business as usual. So we dont know my husbands schedule or where we will be living in 9 months. So we dont know when I will get pregnant or if it will be viable. There are so many unknowns that we deliberately put out of mind: What if it takes a long time to get pregnant and he finishes power school, SOBC, and prototype and is back on a boat, deployed? What if we dont like our new OBGyn and they dont do enough monitoring in the first trimester? We may be a military family, but we are still a family-- a husband and wife, following God, raising three boys the best way we can. Times like these are when we need to hand over our concerns to God and trust that it will all work out in the end, which it will. So what if it takes a lot longer to get pregnant this time? So what if he is deployed when I deliver? So what if we have to fight more for first trimester monitoring? We will face those challenges as they come, but not before then.

Want to read more about the things I mentioned in this blog post?

• Check out "In my life," where I give more details on how my sister delivered their one and only while my brother-in-law was deployed.
• To learn more about my miscarriage and partial molar pregnancy, read "3 months down." Here is my blog post just about what a "Molar pregnancy" is.
• Here is information about the "STA-21 Officers Program."

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I had never tried an audio book before, so I was a little apprehensive when Mumsnet Bloggers asked me to listen to Blood on Snow, an audio book, written by Jo Nesbo.  The thought of listening to someone read a book, I dont know, it just didnt really appeal to me.  I am a such a big fan of having something physical to hold and read in front of me. 

The book is read by Patti Smith, and I am not going to lie and say I am completely familiar with her and the whole Punk movement, but I had heard of her.  Her accent reading this book is just amazing to listen to. She has a really husky, thick American accent, and from her first words I was hooked.  I mean its not in many books you read that someones lying on the floor dead and you already know its the books main character, Olav whos the murderer. 

Olav is a hit-man, and this book tells the story of his life, potential targets and loves. I didnt think I would connect with Olav, mainly as hes male...oh, and a killer.  But unbelievably, I quickly got transported into his world and was rooting for the main character.  I literally had no idea where the plot was going, and this became ever apparent as I thought the book was about to end, but I realised I was only half of the way through. 

I want to give nothing away, because the ending is the most incredible ending I think I have read, well, listened to.  Again, you think you know where its all going, but you really do not.  The ending is wrote in such a beautiful and captivating way, that as Patti Smith read the closing scene, I just sat for moments afterwards thinking about what I had actually just heard.  

There is alot of blood, violence and swearing, but I never felt out of my depth with this book.  I felt Jo Nesbo had the right amount of action, but had cleverly interwoven it with breathtaking scenery or attention to character detail that it never felt too much. 

As for an audio book, I would certainly listen to another one again.  I think Patti Smith read the book beautifully and it certainly added another dimension to the book. It was actually a real luxury to relax and put in my headphones and be completely transported into Olavs world.  I cannot recommend this novel enough. You can listen to Patti Smith read the opening excerpt from Jo Nesbos Blood on Snow here, its only a minute long, but I challenge you not to want to hear more! 

Have you read Blood on Snow? Would you ever try an audio book?
Comments always welcome below and thanks for reading, 

I was kindly sent the audio for Blood On Snow by Mumsnet Bloggers, this review is entirely my own thoughts and opinions. 

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Pregnancy Over 40 Is Possible, New Year, New Expectations

I recall going through six years of trying to conceive. The holidays back then were just a way of marking time...another year - no baby.
 January was always such a relief because I could put all the holiday hoopla to rest. I wouldnt have to sit through tiring social get togethers for another year and I could get back into my comfortable routine.

Even though I went through six holiday seasons without a baby, somehow a new year always brought new expectations: this is the year Im going to have a baby. I often wondered if I was a glutton for punishment. What made me think the new year would be any different from all the rest? To make matters worse, one of the years I went through IVF, I got pregnant and found out I miscarried right before Christmas. Theres nothing like having a miscarriage to put you in the holiday spirit. All sarcasm aside, somehow I kept on going. Even though my age, the statistics and my reproductive history were against me, deep down I knew I couldnt quit.

SEE ALSO: PREGNANCY OVER 40 (getpregnantover40.com)

 My baby was somewhere hovering over me and I knew my persistence would pay off. The moral of the story is that the new year can be different. Theres something about putting your past behind you that opens up new possibilities. Instead of seeing the new year as a reminder that youre still not pregnant, see it as a new start. That was then and this is now. Stay away from the naysayers (for me it was the reproductive endocrinologists) - they may derail you from your goal. So when I say Happy New Year, I mean it. Past performance does not predict future results.


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Picture taken by TwinBug Photography at twinbugphotography@yahoo.com

Isnt Navy life crazy?

We had some stress this past week when we found out we could not extend our lease because the homeowners plan to return to the property-- the house we are currently living in. (Check out my blog post "Murphys Law.") My hubby talked to his lieutenant and detailer and we were able to get orders for October. Even better, we have the orders PRINTED and IN HAND so we can set up our move in August before our lease expires. It all came together.

In all honesty, I had a bit of a freak out when I found out that we couldnt extend our lease. It really stressed me out. I kept thinking about how much money it would cost for us to move in-town, as well as the inconvenience. And this would be just weeks or months before we would be moving again! (Confused? Read that blog post I mentioned, "Murphys Law." It will fill you in.)

Not that I freaked out that much-- it was nothing a good cry and a Bones marathon couldnt solve-- but it really made me nervous. I didnt sleep well and I started convincing myself coffee has more nutrients than it really does. I also started fretting about whether or not our oldest would be able to do his 5-year old preschool class next year at his preschool-- if we moved locally, would we be close enough? Would we actually get orders and move out of state? I fretted about the summer camps I already signed him up for and paid for. Should I be seeking refunds? I started thinking about the plans we have already made this summer. Should we let people know we might be cancelling? Will we be cancelling? If we move in-town, could we still do these trips, financially or time-wise?

Okay, maybe I did freak out a lot more than I thought. My mind just started going in a million directions. When I took D to preschool, I would roll down the windows and let the warm spring air roll in. I would turn up the radio... but those thoughts would still creep back in. "Maybe you should keep a look out for houses for rent. Maybe you should contact your realtor. Maybe you should warn D he might not be going to school here in the fall. Maybe you shouldnt have told him he would be going there in the first place."

Living in limbo is so hard. I dont know why it is so hard. I kept telling myself to let it go, that it will all work out, that everything will come together, give it some time... I prayed about it and did my best to hand it over to God. I would feel peace for the rest of the afternoon, but that night as I lay in bed, I would be praying and handing it over to God again!

And then we got our orders-- thank you, God! (Thank you, Navy!) Relief flooded in. I really dont know why living in limbo is so hard. Everything did work out and come together-- perfectly, in fact. We have a plan. I am going to pull our oldest from his 5-year old preschool class here in North Carolina next fall. We are going to start homeschooling then instead. Ive spent the afternoon updating our move notebook. Ive been reading some blogs about what power school will be like. We started re-working our summer plans that were interrupted with the upcoming move. This week Im going to set up our HHG move.

It came together so perfectly that I wish I played it cool like my husband and really handed things over to God. I think I tell myself this every time we move (this is our 3rd PCS), but next time Im not going to stress out so much.

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Hello week 24! Its been quite an interesting week this week as I started a new class of pregnancy yoga that I will never go to ever again, but I will come onto that little drama in a minute.  Lets talk about bump first.  

Health wise Ive felt OK this week. It seems I have some days where I have loads of energy, and then some days I feel like I really havent the energy to do much at all.  But Im just going with the flow and making good use of the good days.  Ive managed to strip the old nursery wallpaper and get some paint samples and the room is slowly starting to take shape (I think).  I still have to sand the walls and then wash them which is my least favourite bit, and I have a feeling I will have to dig deep to find the energy to do that!!!

Baby seems to like doing alot of rolls and he or she also likes to rest a limb poking directly under my ribcage.  Ive been really uncomfortable under my right side for the last few days, so if baby could just move its arm or leg down a little bit, it would be much appreciated!!

This week I decided to try out a new pregnancy yoga class. I first did pregnancy yoga when I was pregnant with my daughter and I loved it.  I found it really relaxing and I even made a few friends at the class. Unfortunately, the lady who ran the classes doesnt any more, so hence why this was a completely new class. 

I walked into this medium sized room and was greeted with about 25 pairs of eyes looking at me!  The instructor seemed nice enough though, and she told me to take a seat on my mat where there was a space.  Immediately I got the vibes that everyone sat in the same place every week, and the only space left for me was up wedged by a cupboard.  Not exactly the most relaxing place to attempt yoga. 

We did some basic yoga moves and then we were asked to lie on our backs and do some sort of thrusting motion raising up and down.  Now, I might not be that up-to-date with current advice, but last time I checked it was a big no-no to lie on your back.  Yet here I was on my back.  

I really wish I had had the courage to sit up and say I wasnt doing the exercises as I wasnt comfortable.  But Im ashamed to say with the twenty or so other women, I just couldnt. Even if they were safe, it was ingrained in my mind that I didnt want to be lying on my back, so the whole time I was thinking, oh my god Im killing my baby, and then Id keep rolling onto my side as though I was secretly resuscitating baby and giving him or her a few good breaths.  

We did some more yoga moves, and I managed to stop hyperventilating that Id suffocated my baby, as Baby Bee gave some good wiggles.  But then, dum dum dum, group work!! 

We were split into groups and we had to talk about some photographs of babies that were handed out. Now each to their own, and Im not judging the other women that were there. But me? I really cant be bothered to sit and chit-chat about babies with ladies I dont know and I certainly dont want a new BFF.  One woman gave her gory labour story, another slagged off health professionals, one lady was very vocal about EVERYTHING and me? I didnt say a word.  (I think they all thought I was very stuck up).  

The truth is, group work really isnt my thing.  And after the lying on my back debacle, I just wanted to get home, see my husband and eat my tea.  I came home anxious not only about the yoga poses, but also wondering if I was normal.  Surely I should want to talk to other mums to be? What if I end up with no friends with a baby thats a similar age to mine? What if I get lonely? Whats wrong with me?  

As usual a chat to my mum reassured me.  Why was I trying to be someone Im not? Why was I being so hard on myself? And quite frankly who cares about group work and a bloody yoga group.  Lifes way too short. 

Sometimes we are so set on being like everybody else, that when we feel something different we worry theres something wrong with us.  But I cant be someone Im not.  If I didnt like it, I didnt like it.  And Im not at school.  So if instead of doing group work with a bunch of strangers Id rather be bouncing on my maternity ball eating chocolate, then so be it.  I am who I am. 

I have lots of lovely friends who will support me.  And come to think of it, Ive only got one new friend who I met antenatally, and the rest are old friends or new people I met along the way after I had had my daughter. 

Needless to say I wont be returning to that group, but I certainly wouldnt judge those that do go.  If thats your thing, go for it.  But for me, I want to be lying on my side, and the only group work I want to be doing is with my husband trying to catch our daughter ready for bath time.  

Thanks for reading, and would love to hear your thoughts.  Anything similar happen to you? Do you like a spot of group-work?  Comments below please!  

Have a great weekend,  

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