pregnancy weight loss after miscarriage

Before LL came along my three year old daughter was my little partner in crime.  Ive been lucky enough that since she was born Ive been able to have a career break from work. This has meant me and my daughter have been pretty much inseparable.  We have done everything together.  The good times of spontaneous picnics, girls shopping trips and farm visits, and (lets not wear rose tinted glasses here) even the not so good times, like when she spilt a whole jug of milk down me in the middle of Marks and Spencer or when she tantrum rolled herself down an aisle in Sainsburys. 

Before LL came, in those last few weeks of my pregnancy, I really treasured every moment. I knew things were about to change.  But what nobody told me is how our relationship would change, or the guilt Id feel as my role changed.  

In these first few weeks of having LL, my time has been almost entirely consumed with caring for a newborn.  With breastfeeding, changing and caring for this little bundle 24/7. And I guess that is how it should be.  Ive included my eldest in all the things youre meant to, like reading to her whilst Im feeding, including her to help care for LL.  But still, theres been a change.  

Its not me she calls for if she needs something now. Its not me she gets into the car and sits nicely for.  Its her Daddy. I feel like Im suddenly second best.  

And I know this is good.  My husband tells me its nice to finally be that person for a change, instead of it always being me.  And I know this is completely normal.  But that doesnt stop me feeling guilty when she asks for Daddy when Im stood right next to her.  Or when I tell her to wait a minute for the hundredth time as LL has just been sick everywhere again.

I know I cant do everything.  I know Im not superwoman.  But that doesnt stop me from wanting to be.  I guess I have to adjust to being a mum of two.  I just wish someone had forewarned me of this guilt I feel.  

I think the transition from three to four just takes time for us all, I just hope my eldest always knows how much I love her, even if its not just us two girls anymore when Daddy goes to work.  Its something even more special now, its us three girls.  The three musketeers.  

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weight lost during twin pregnancy

Motherhood teaches you a lot about yourself, about character flaws you didnt realize you had previously. For one, Ive had to develop a thicker skin. I know, more than once, I had to consciously not take it personally that our son decided to say "Dada" before "Momma." Ironically, when he said "Dada," he wasnt even spending anytime with Daddy. Daddy was out to sea! As a logically thinking parent, it is wonderful that your son is saying Daddy. As a tired woman balancing a toddler, the Navy, and living away from family, why cant your son recognize all the hard work you put in and say "Momma"? Not only have I needed to put small things like that in perspective, but the larger things have forced me to thicken my skin and stand my ground as well.

We recently went to parent orientation at my sons preschool. The teacher explained that on the first day, the students will be given a card to write their name on that will sit on the front of their desk. My heart sank. My four-year old should already know how to write his name? She went on to explain that many students do not yet know how to write, which is perfectly normal, and that by the end of the year each of the preschoolers will be able to write their name. I saw other moms smile and nod, content that their children-- who may or may not know how to write-- will be able to write their name at the end of the year. Where was my mind still? "Why havent I taught him to write his name yet?" I am in the midst of reading The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling by Debra Bell. In Chapter 3 on page 39, she writes as she realizes the fact that she had yet to teach her daughter cursive in third grade, "I was almost hyperventilating over the panic attack that ensued-- if I could forget cursive, what other venal or mortal oversight was I capable of? Would my daughter ever recover? What doors were now swinging shut because of her mothers incompetence?"

And it happens with our 16-month olds as well. Now that they are toddlers, there are expectations on their development from seemingly everyone we meet. "You have beautiful boys! What words do they say?" "They are darling. I remember my son at that age loved rectangles." "How sweet! Twins? My sisters toddler twins love counting everything."

Ive written before about "Mommy guilt." I dont feel like Mommy guilt really covers the depth of the feelings you get when you are faced with a parenting situation you arent sure of. Should my child already know how to count to thirty? Should he know how to write his name? One of my 16-month olds says sit, shoes, and Momma. The other only says Momma, though I think Ive heard him say, "Up, Momma," once. And possibly "ay" for "eight." Should my 16-month olds have a better vocabulary? Should the know to hold still for diaper changes? Should the be able to put a puzzle piece in its proper place?

Other times, there are restraints on you that you cant control, such as finances. I absolutely love our stroller. I have written several blogs mentioning how much I love our stroller and give glowing reviews of our stroller when stopped out in public. We only own that stroller because of the generosity of my family. My granny and my parents purchased a large portion of the stroller and we bought accessories for it along the way. But we were on our own for carseats. Every mom seems to own Britax carseats. They receive glowing reviews. However, I cannot afford a $229 infant carrier. For my oldest, we bought a Chicco travel system. Our travel system was about $300, at the time. This came with a stroller, a carseat base, and an infant carrier. The price online, now, is $349.00. When he outgrew his infant carrier, I bought the best convertible carseat that we could afford for him, a $160 Safety 1st Alpha Omega Convertible Carseat. I felt great about our carseat choices with him. I talked to my "mom friends" to see what they recommended. I talked to our pediatrician, bought the seats and moved on with my life. When I had twins, I spent much more time researching carseats. We were still confident in our choice of the Chicco infant carriers. We purchased a second one at an online baby sale on Target.com. It was about $130 for the carseat and carseat base. When it came time to buy convertible carseats, what was the best convertible carseat? A $344 Britax Boulevard? And what about the high-end Clek Foonf selling for $474 at our favorite baby boutique? Ive never even heard of that thing, but was it better? We were always happy with our Alpha Omega for our oldest. He was actually still using his Alpha Omega Safety 1st carseat when we were carseat shopping for our twins, meaning we needed two new convertible carseats (not that you would neccesarily want to hand down a convertible carseat used by a toddler for almost two years). And buying a used carseat isnt something that we are comfortable with. Even our "reasonably priced" Safety 1st Alpha Omega carseats tallied $320 when buying two, on top of our monthly double diaper bill and expensive formula. All this input and I even began doubting whether or not I had bought the best for our oldest! It was exhausting. Finally I threw the extra input out the window, followed our budget and my gut, and bought the Safety 1st Alpha Omega Convertible Carseats at our wholesale store for $80 a piece with a coupon. Fabulous. $160 for two carseats. And a carseat that I was satisfied with for two years with our oldest son!

A couple months ago our oldest approached the 45-lb mark. We had a dilemma: he was over the 40-lb weight limit for his five-point harness. I consulted with several of our friends as to what they thought. We received input from a few friends that he needed to remain in a five-point harness. Several other of our friends with kids Ds age or older felt we were at the point to put him in a belt-positioning booster seat, especially since he was almost four-years old. This is when we started hearing all this information about new laws in North Carolina regarding the five-point harness and belt-positioning boosters. Friends told us, "Children need to stay in a five-point harness until five-years old or 80 lbs..." My husband and I were floored at the input and seriously felt like horrible parents that we were considering to move him to a belt-positioning booster. Do we really need to buy another five-point harness carseat for our three and a half year old? Carseats with upper-weight limits between 80 to 100 lbs are expensive! So we consulted our pediatrician and researched the North Carolina state laws and what was recommended by AAA (our go-to for child carseat safety). North Carolinas BuckleupNC.org website clearly states its laws did not change. I quote, "The NC Child Passenger Safety Law has not changed." It goes on to say:

A properly used child restraint device (CRD) is required if the child is less than 8 years old AND weighs less than 80 pounds. Most parents and other care givers will be able to comply by using belt-positioning booster seats for children between 40 and 80 pounds. The child must be within the weight range for the child restraint/booster seat and it must meet Federal standards in effect at time of manufacture.

HealthyChildren.org discloses the AAP update recommendations regarding forward-facing carseats and belt-positioning boosters:

Children should transition from a rear-facing seat to a forward-facing seat with a harness, until they reach the maximum weight or height for that seat. Then a booster will make sure the vehicle’s lap-and-shoulder belt fit properly. The shoulder belt should lie across the middle of the chest and shoulder, not near the neck or face. The lap belt should fit low and snug on the hips and upper thighs, not across the belly. Most children will need a booster seat until they have reached 4 feet 9 inches tall and are between 8 and 12 years old

The article also quotes Dennis Durbin, MD, FAAP:

Parents often look forward to transitioning from one stage to the next, but these transitions should generally be delayed until they’re necessary, when the child fully outgrows the limits for his or her current stage... For larger children, a forward-facing seat with a harness is safer than a booster, and a belt-positioning booster seat provides better protection than a seat belt alone until the seat belt fits correctly.

The AAA Carseat Saftey How-To Guide states, "It is safest to keep your child in a forward-facing seat with a harness until he or she reaches the seat’s maximum height or weight (40 to 65 pounds) limits." Regarding belt-positioning boosters, it says, "Children can use a booster seat when they have outgrown the weight or height limit of their forward-facing harnesses, which will be between 40 and 65 pounds."

Finally, our pediatrician confirmed that our son was ready for a belt-positioning booster. With all of these facts supporting us to move our three and a half year old son who had outgrown the weight limits of his convertible carseat, we still felt like horrible parents because of the well-meaning comments of people telling us he needed to stay in a five-point harness. There was this lingering question in our minds, "Are we making the right decision?" We found no state laws requiring him to stay in a five-point harness until he was five-- not one. I couldnt even find anything mentioning a recommendation specifically mentioning five-years old. The carseat displays in every store tell us upper-weight limit or 40-lbs for a belt-positioning booster. Our pediatrician knew of no new law and told us we could move him at the upper-weight limit of his convertible carseat (which he exceeded). Mommy guilt ate away as I buckled him into his belt-positioning booster, which cost us much less than a new five-point harness carseat with a higher weight limit. On top of that, I again doubted whether we bought the right convertible carseats for our twins.

Why? Why cant I research and make a good purchase in our price range? Why cant I consult with our pediatrician and make a grounded decision? Why do the comments from people, even well-meaning comments, take root in our mommy minds and make us doubt our decisions? Of course our childrens safety is a priority. We always double-check their restraints when we buckle them in (or when someone else buckles them in). It just is silly that Mommy guilt can gnaw away at me internally when logically I know I made a right decision. Why, as moms, do we allow guilt to take over when we know--we know deep down to the core of our being-- that we are making the right decision? And we know that we cannot do everything. Yes, I know that I am not required to teach my preschooler how to write before he actually attends his first day of preschool while managing a household and also parenting toddler twins while I balance my own interests and those of my husband. But it still bothers me that there may be other kids in his class who can write and D cant. And I still feel embarrassed around our friends who told us to keep him in a five-point harness, that we bought a belt-positioning booster instead. And I still feel the need to explain that, oftentimes, twins are delayed, consecutive children are delayed, boys are delayed, and they were five-weeks early. What?! My twins are 16-months old and I am already willing to give them a label of "delayed" to a total stranger just to justify why the only word they consistently use is "Momma"? And I still feel the need to explain why we ended up using formula instead of breastfeeding, even though we are long past that phase.

I dont think Mommy guilt is ever healthy. No, we shouldnt ever bury our heads in the sand and blaze our own trail. We need to support each other and hear each others input. As mothers we need to fully understand that what works for us, may not work for someone else, or, conversely, what works for someone else may not work for you. There are some things that we cannot change. A child needs to remain rear-facing until the age of 2 or until they reach the upper-weight limit of their rear-facing carseat. To quote AAA Carseat Safety: A How to Guide:

The rear-facing position supports a child’s head, neck and spine and helps reduce stress to the neck and spinal cord in a crash. Children should ride in a vehicle’s back seat in rear-facing safety seats from birth until age 2, or until they reach their convertible seat’s upper weight limit, which should be around 35 pounds. Be sure both age and weight requirements are met before a child is moved to a forward-facing seat.

Other things, like our decision to follow the law and allow our oldest to move to a belt-positioning booster instead of buying another five-point harness with a higher weight limit, is our personal decision. It really is crazy how the devil can sneak in your head and gnaw away at your resolve. Moms are especially weak to the "what-ifs" that plague our consciousness. Good thing my next read is Every Thought Captive: Battling the Toxic Beliefs That Separate Us from the Life We Crave by Jerusha Clark...

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post pregnancy weight loss motivation

I was in two minds as to whether to publish this blog post or not. So much of what we see and read online is about how well people are doing, happy lives portrayed and smiling perfect images.  And whilst that is all great, I also want my blog to reflect and record our lives. The good times and the tough times. So here goes.

LL is now 8 weeks old and appears to be struggling with reflux or colic. I say appears, as to be honest I really dont know whats going on. All I know is Ive got a very unsettled baby who appears to be in discomfort and who Im up most of the night with.

It all started just before Christmas, and its got worse and worse. On Christmas day she must have cried from about 4pm until midnight and then she was so exhausted she fell asleep.

I was at the GPs as soon as they opened after the bank holiday, but I came away none the wiser really.  I know she is medically well. She breast-feeds well, is gaining weight and is alert. I think we are just going through an unsettled phase.  But its so tough.

I think these last few days have been harder than when we first came home from the hospital.  Im also exhausted which doesnt help. Weve tried gaviscon and colief, which for the record are a bloody nightmare to give to a breastfed baby. At 4am this morning as LL was unsettled, I attempted to give her the colief via a syringe in warmed breast-milk.  When she then spat the lot out in my face, I threw the syringe across the room and decided I wasnt going to give it anymore. I think its causing both of us too much stress that outweighs the good its doing.

Yesterday, my eldest had a little accident and couldnt get to the toilet in time.  I was cleaning up the floor and asked her to pass me her wet knickers so I could wash them. She threw them at my head, so I got a wet slap in the face with her knickers. I just burst out laughing.  I think if I hadnt,  I may have been hysterical. Which I was today.

We had a bad night last night, so as my daughter is at preschool today,  I thought me and LL would have a lie in. What actually happened is our smoke alarm which is connected to the mains starting beeping every 5 minutes. This sent the dog mad. With instructions from my husband on how to dismantle it, I balanced precariously on a chair in my pjs.  LL started to cry, the dog was barking, and I saw two long spiders legs poking out from under the alarm.

This suddenly felt like the worst ever Bush Tucker Trial.  I half expected Ant and Dec to appear.

After some messing about with a screwdriver, I finally dismantled the alarm.  Oh wait, I missed the bit where I wailed on the floor for 5 minutes. Then I got a grip, and then I dismantled the smoke alarm.

Anyway, the whole point of this blog today is to say its tough. It doesnt matter how much I love LL, how lucky I feel to have my two girls, its still tough. And in the midst of my wailing this morning Ive decided to take each day as it comes.

Being a mum for a second time, I know this stage wont last.  I know I just have to ride it out. To all new mums, hang on in there. Being a mum is meant to be tough.  You are doing an amazing job. And if you do ever find yourself in the jungle, Bush Tucker trials arent a patch on parenthood.

Thanks for reading, 

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baby losing weight in the womb

Parenting a four-year old-- a preschooler-- is an entirely different ballgame than parenting a toddler, not in a slow evolution of parenting sort of way, but a must-completely-refigure-our-parenting-NOW way. I was chatting with a friend of mine a couple weeks ago about parenting and how sometimes-- okay, all the time-- parenting our preschooler is much more work than parenting two toddlers. Yes, our preschooler does have a very "high maintenance" personality. He internalizes everything around him; he absorbs everything-- I mean, everything-- he hears. He strives and longs from the very core of his being to be pleasing, yet cant help but do something for attention or test his boundaries. I wrote a blog about him in July. My love for him has also grown from simply maternal to a fascination; I cant wait to hear what he is going to say next and I love his little quirks, like the way he tells a joke or the silly faces he will pull in the middle of story. I long to hear his point of view and desire to fill him up with good things to talk about.

Watching him transition from a toddler to a little boy-- a child of his own with thoughts, dreams, desires, and fears-- has shown me the tenuous influence we as parents have over our childrens thinking. His thoughts are swayed by his favorite TV shows, what the kids around him think, what his teachers at preschool talk about, how he feels he fits into the world around him, and-- most of all-- by his very own mind. He is forming opinions about the world at large by the small interactions he has each day. My friend and I were discussing this new world of parenting challenges. She has two boys, a first and second grader. She said something that stuck with me, "I think back to the toddler years and long for those challenges, those things that were so hard for me at the time. There were tantrums over sippy cups and taking naps, but there werent the hard questions that are forming their characters." We went on to talk about what influence these years will have on them as teenagers and then young men and ultimately the grown men they will become. Ive always felt that parenting is our chance to teach our children about Gods love. How they receive love from us is naturally where they will draw conclusions about Gods love. Right now I have the majority of my preschoolers attention. He still turns to me, his face full of puzzlement, when he stumbles across something he is unsure of. "What does it mean to die?" "Why cant we talk to strangers?" "Why were you and Daddy arguing?" "Can we buy a monster truck?" Later he will draw his own conclusions or seek counsel from his friends and teachers.

Which led me to my own line of questioning: am I giving him a solid foundation? Am I teaching him how to select his friends? Am I giving him a strong moral compass? Are we raising him to be a man like his father is? Are we growing a desire in him to learn more about God? Are we focusing on his character? Is our lifestyle a model of the character traits we desire for our children to have?

I turned to God. I forget where I heard this, but I really did hear this from somewhere. You know how parents always joke that babies should come with owners manuals? Well, they do; everything you need to know about raising your children is in scripture. So I turned to the concordance in my Bible to look up every verse on teaching. Here is what I found:

Old Testament

• Exodus 4:12 "Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."
• Exodus 33:13 "If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."
• Deuteronomy 4:9 "Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them."
• 1 Kings 8:35-36 "When the heavens are shut up and there is no rain because your people have sinned against you, and when they pray toward this place and confess your name and turn from their sin because you have afflicted them, then hear from heaven and forgive the sin of your servants, your people Israel. Teach them the right way to live, and send rain on the land you gave your people for an inheritance."
• 2 Kings 17:27-28 "Then the king of Assyria gave this order: Have one of the priests you took captive from Samaria go back to live there and teach the people what the god of the land requires. So one of the priests who had been exiled from Samaria came to live in Bethel and taught them how to worship the Lord.
• Psalm 25:9 "He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way."
• Psalm 51:13 "Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you."
• Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
• Psalm 94:12 "Blessed is the one you discipline, Lord, the one you teach from your law."
• Psalm 119:99-100 "I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your precepts."
• Psalm 143:10 "Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground."
• Proverbs 3:1-2 "My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity."
• Proverbs 7:2-3 "Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart."
• Jeremiah 31:34 "No longer will they teach their neighbor, or say to one another, Know the Lord, because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the Lord. For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."

New Testament

• Matthew 5:19 "Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven."
• Matthew 7:28-29 "When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law."
• Matthew 10:24-25 "The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebub, how much more the members of his household!"
• Luke 11:1 "One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples."
• John 14:23-24 "Jesus replied, Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me."
• Acts 20:20 "You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house."
• Romans 2:21 "You, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You, who preach against stealing, do you steal?"
• Romans 15:4 "For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope."
• Ephesians 4:14-15 "Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ."
• 1 Corinthians 2:13 "This is what we speak, not in words taught by human wisdom but words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words."
• 1 Timothy 3:2-3 "Now the overseerer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money."
• 2 Timothy 2:2 "And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others."
• 2 Timothy 3:16-17 "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
• 2 Timothy 4:2-3 "Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-- with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them great numbers of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear."
• Titus 2:1-2 "You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love, and in endurance."
• Titus 2:11-15 "For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope-- the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you."
• Hebrews 5:11-6:1 "We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of Gods word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teaching about Christ and be taken forward to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God."
• Hebrews 8:11 "No longer will they teach their neighbor, or say to one another, Know the Lord, because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest."
• James 3:1 "Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly."
• 1 John 2:26-28 "I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray. As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit-- just as it taught you, remain in him. And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming."

Wow. Over and over again the Bible talk about teaching! So to start at the very beginning, we must teach someone how to worship the Lord, just as the king needed to be taught in 2 Kings. He expressed a desire to worship God and someone came and "taught them how to worship the Lord." If we desire for our sons to worship God from their own hearts, we must teach them how to do that. Teaching them about God will turn their hearts towards Gods ways, as said in Psalm 51, "then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you." Gods grace is extended to all people. This grace is what will guide our children down the straight and narrow path. Titus tells us that "the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope." Once we have taught our boys about the grace and how to worship God, they must have their own desire to follow God. The responsibility of their faith is their own, "keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye" (Proverbs 7) and ""solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil" (Hebrews 5). We must teach them that through constant prayer and a heart bent towards God, they can stand strong in a fallen world: "Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground" (Psalm 143). It is imperative that we build strong foundations of faith for our children, "I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray" (1 John).

In Deuteronomy 4, it says, "Teach them to your children and to their children after them." This is something my husband and I must remember everyday. As parents we must "preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-- with great patience and careful instruction" (2 Timothy 4). We dont need to come up with elaborate games or analogies. No, we just need to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit. "This is what we speak, not in words taught by human wisdom but words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words" (1 Corinthians 2). We can share with them our own testimonies and read from them out of our own Bibles. In Matthew 5, Jesus taught his disciples how to pray when they witnessed him praying, "One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples."

What are the fruits of faith in Jesus Christ? First and foremost: "whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5). Psalm 119 promises great insight and understanding. Proverbs 3 promises peace and prosperity. Titus 2 says, "It teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope." How will we know if we have passed the message on to our children? "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching" (John 14).

To quote Debra Bell in The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling, "Arent you glad youre a Christian? Arent decisions like this just why we know we werent designed to figure life out by ourselves? We need a heavenly Father we can count on for the future."

2 Corinthians 10b-16:

The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a persons thought except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgements, for, "Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ.

Which leaves with one option, as commanded in Exodus 4, "Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

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After I hit publish on my post, Motherhood without a filter, I immediately wondered if Id maybe shared a bit too much.  I worried that I would scare all the mums-to-be who read my blog, and I thought Id terrified all those mums expecting their second baby.  I dont want to be one of those scare-mongers. 

You know the ones.  The ones who are overly eager to tell you their horrendous labour story when youve only just met them and youre 9 months pregnant. Or the lady who continually complains about motherhood even though she has 5 children.  I want to be the mum who celebrates being a mum.  Who relishes having two beautiful daughters.  

But at the same time, as I mentioned in the blog post, I also want this blog to reflect real-life.  That it is hard sometimes.  But I wouldnt change a single thing.  Even the night I didnt sleep at all, I still lay on the bed the next day with LL and tried to make her smile with a toy penguin making cheeping noises (which she loves).  And when I felt ill because I was so tired, I still danced round the nursery carrying LL and dancing alongside my eldest to play that sax.

So if youre a mum to be, or going to be a mum of two, its all fine, I promise.  I hope my blog doesnt frighten or worry you. I hope instead my posts dispel this myth of the perfect mum, who doesnt, and will never exist.  I hope it reflects real-life. 

Motherhood isnt a constant state of euphoria.  It has its ups and downs, highs and lows and all those bits that fall between.  Every bit is needed and every bit is part of the journey. 

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