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When I first started this blog, my husband was in college taking mechanical engineering classes. We had newborn twins, a 2-year old, and I needed an outlet. I felt like my life revolved around schedules-- my husbands schedule, our newborn twins schedule, and our toddlers schedule. (Then we added a puppy to add yet another schedule-- house training a dog. Go figure!) Since I had put my degree on hold when my husband started college (under a rigorous timeframe imposed by the Navys STA-21 program), this blog was a great way for me to do something I loved. I missed writing. Blogging about our life as a Navy family helped give me structure.

I really enjoy blogging. Over the past couple years Ive written about the things that have happened to us along the way: infant twins to toddler twins and now 4-year old twins, homeschooling, moving across town and moving to a new duty station, making new friends and moving away from dearly loved friends. Ive written about our second miscarriage and subsequently dealing with a molar pregnancy. I have been moved to tears by the emails Ive received regarding that difficult stage in our life; it is amazing to me how many of my friends have had miscarriages that I never knew about. It helped me to put one foot in front of the other when I had friends helping me navigate the months following the molar pregnancy. It was hard for me to write about it; I doubted several times if I should hit publish. It was so personal and close to home, yet the stories that people shared with me made me so proud that I had posted my experience.

As Ive blogged about our life, bursting at the seams with these 4 busy boys of ours, I knew that we were living in a little bubble. The military, while always nearby, wasnt involved too much in our life. In North Carolina, my husband mustered with them several times a week for PT and before his classes. We had balls each year and award ceremonies, but those are the fun aspects of military life. His schedule was slammed, which was expected because he had to complete his mechanical engineering degree in 3 years per the STA-21 program. In South Carolina, it felt like we started getting our feet wet with military life again. He went to power school and prototype. The rotating shift work started with prototype and I balked. The rotating shift work in prototype was different than the rotating shift work on a fast attack submarine doing pre-deployment work-ups, but it was still rotating shift work and it reminded me of what we were heading back in to. Now my husband is at SOBC (Submarine Officers Basic Course). In SOBC, he has a very different schedule than with power school and prototype, but we are states away from each other. While he is up in Connecticut at SOBC, I am staying with my parents and doing life with 4 children.

Our oldest is 6-years old and really missing his daddy. He doesnt know how easy we have it right now with SOBC. My hubby may be stationed in Connecticut for the next couple months, but we are able to video chat with him almost every night. He calls me on his lunch breaks. While it is not the easiest drive to make, he can drive and visit us on weekends (there is a great comfort in having the option to do something, even if it isnt practical to do every weekend). Hes already come to see us one weekend since hes been there and we have another visit on the calendar. This SOBC schedule is not a submarine schedule. I know that; my husband knows that. Our children, who miss their daddy right now-- today-- do not know that. They dont know why we have packed up our things from South Carolina and moved states away to my parents house. They hear us talk how we are moving to Washington state and the concept is foreign to them; they dont know what that means and they long for familiar things. Where are their bikes? Why cant they play outside with their friends from South Carolina? Why isnt Daddy here to take them outside and throw ball with them? Where is their playroom? Why are they sharing a room with me here at Marmie and Papas house? Our 4-year olds have off days and miss their daddy. Our 6-year old is hit with it like a ton of bricks. The other day he started sobbing that he wanted to go play with his best friends in South Carolina and that he wants Daddy. It breaks my heart.

I know it breaks my husbands heart as well. He isnt here to hold his children and comfort them when they miss him. Even harder is when he video chats with them and they say those sweet, heart breaking things, "Can we move back to South Carolina now?" It is hard to explain the "whys" of our life to the children at these ages, 6-years old and 4-years old. We tell them that we are moving because Daddys job is in Washington state now. We are staying with my parents before we move to have some fun at their house for a couple months. Daddy has to go to a school in Connecticut and will be back when he is finished to drive us to our new house. We let them video chat when they want to see his face. We tell them the same things and reaffirm how much we love them and want to listen to them. We tell them we miss their old friends too and pull out paper to draw their old friends pictures. We set up routines here and try to implement familiar routines and schedules. But it still just feels heartbreaking sometimes, navigating them through all these transitions.

Here, now, at my parents house, I worry so much about what I will do when I am across the United States from my parents. They have helped so much. When I feel overwhelmed by life (for instance, last week when I came down with a really bad cold that is still holding on), they step in and take care of the boys. Every night my dad puts our 4-year olds to bed while my grandmother puts our 6-year old to bed. Im able to sit with my mom as she helps me get things for the next day together (clothes for the boys, lunch/snack for our kindergartner) and put the baby to bed. When the boys are having a rough day, each of them have someone to hold them and comfort them. If my lap is full, they can sit with my mom, my dad, my sister, or my grandmother. When our 4-year olds are napping, my grandmother can walk to the bus stop and pick up our 6-year old. When the baby is crying, my sister is here to finish up the evening bath with the older 3 so I can tend to the baby. When the boys are bouncing off the walls, my dad can take them to their gym class so I can make dinner in peace.

When I think about Washington state, I think about how life was on a fast attack submarine before we had 4 children; our oldest was just a baby then. I think about how life was with 4 children as my husband went through power school and prototype. I think about how life would be for me right now with him in SOBC if I didnt have the support system from my parents... and Im nervous. We wont be able to video chat with Daddy while hes gone on a submarine. We wont be living in the same house as my family and able to have someone else manage the school pick ups and drop offs if Im overwhelmed. We wont have someone there to step in and do bath and bedtime with one set of children while I put the other set to bed. We wont have a multitude of adults to choose from when our oldest is having a hard time and misses his dad; my dad wont be there to step in and say, "Hey, come help me with this," and take him off for some much needed one on one "man time."

I have a feeling that this blog, originally started to focus on our life as a military family (much emphasis on family), is going to involve a lot more of the military aspects as military life encroaches on the relative calm we have achieved with our boys. (I say relative because life with 4 children, I doubt, is ever calm and then throw in the fact that we have a towering 6-year old and rambunctious 4-year olds and that calm is just gone.) I have a feeling we will be talking about dealing with childrens emotions when Daddy is underway and balancing a household with the Navy schedule and how to maintain a sense of normalcy. Ive been pouring over one of my favorite Navy wife blogs, "Keep Calm and Have a Cosmo." She is full of tips for managing a family as a military spouse. Ive been sensing the shift in our own family from "pseudo-civilian life" to "real military life," as us military families rarely consider shore duties and training commands "real" military life. While we have dealt with many challenges over the past couple years unique to military life as he went through college with the STA-21 program and then the training pipeline, I know we arent back in "real" military life yet; as the spouse who has lived through life on a fast attack submarine, I know we still have it good. It has been difficult supporting our children through this transition, as we are still in the midst of a PCS to Washington state (house packed out, living with family, hubby at SOBC, cross country drive with 4 children in less than 8 weeks). It has been hard balancing all the moving parts of this PCS myself, even as a military spouse on my 5th PCS.

Reading my old blog posts, it puts in stark contrast the subtle shift that has been taking place in our home. I see clearly where we were then to where we are now. I can picture what it was like as my hubby went through college. I see the small changes in how our household operated as my hubby went through power school and prototype. I see now how different it is here, especially for our children, as their daddy goes through SOBC. I know the next big change for us will be boat life once we reach Washington state. As we navigate this new chapter in our lives, I am very glad to have this blog, not just as the outlet that it has been for me, but also for the support I have received from my fellow bloggers and my readers. I love when a friend emails me or says to me, "Hey, I had the same experience!" I love the links to similar blog posts, "Here is how we got through the same thing.." I love funneling my thoughts into one blog post (then debating whether or not to publish it) and connecting several communities of women. It makes me so happy to hear from working moms, stay-at-home moms, moms of multiples, moms of singletons, civilian moms, military spouse moms, and even military spouses without children, who relate to the challenges of moving and making friends and balancing the military with the rest of your life. Thank you to all my readers and thank you to all who comment, message me, and share my posts.

As we move from this bubble we have been living in back to the "real" military, please hang with me! Keep the messages coming and sharing your stories. I love hearing from you.

How have you transitioned back to boat life from an extended time away from it?

How have you helped your children deal with the transition back to boat life? Or through a difficult PCS?

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Im starting this blog post off with a disclaimer: this was my experience as a Navy spouse as my husband went through prototype, another school in the nuclear Navy officer pipeline-- not his point of view, but mine. These are my thoughts and words, not his.

My husband is prior enlisted. When he went through prototype this time around, he had already gone through prototype before {as enlisted}; he had already been on a submarine; he had been in the Navy for 10 years. He went through the STA-21 program {more blog posts on that under "Military Resources"} and is going back through the pipeline as an officer. I felt his prior experience would work to his advantage in prototype and at least give him more time with our family than he had while in power school {read the "Power school" blog post}.

Students in prototype are on rotating shift work. The shifts are roughly these times, depending on which boat you get on and various other factors:

• Days {day shift or first shift}: 7 am to 7 pm
• Swings {swing shift or second shift}: 12 pm to 12 am
• Mids {mid shift or third shift}: 8 pm to 8 am

*Note on shift hours: you need to add about an hour before and after these shifts because often they have to go in that much earlier and stay that much later for trainings and turning things over to the next shift.

As of right now, there are two prototypes, prototype in upstate New York and prototype in South Carolina. We went through prototype in South Carolina and I do not know how true all of this rings for upstate New York.

In South Carolina, there are two operational submarines {called boats} used for prototype. After the first 7 weeks of prototype, the classes are divided between the 2 boats. Even though the students are in one class, the submarines operate independently of each other and the training for the students on one submarine does not affect the training for the students on the other submarine. What I mean is, if the submarine you are on assigned to breaks down {as it did for us}, you do not get to go train on the other submarine until yours is operational again. While we were there and our boat was shut down, the students on the other boat kept moving forward and graduated on time while our graduation date was pushed back to graduate with the class behind us.

The first 7 weeks of prototype operate on a Monday through Friday day shift. After the first 7 weeks, rotating shift work starts. The shifts last 7 days and are 12 hour shifts. Here is how the schedule works:

• 7 days of days
• 2 days off
• 4 days of training {"T-week," which has the same hours as day shift}
• 4 days off
• 7 days of swings
• 2 days off
• 7 days of mids
• 2 days off

When shift work starts after the first 7 weeks of prototype, each of the students get assigned to a crew. Whatever shift your crew is on is the crew you will start shift work in on week 8. Some students actually started on day shift. We started shift work on swings.

The nice thing about shift work is that once it starts, you can mark your calendar from week 7 of prototype {you find out your crew around week 6 or week 7 and the shifts you are on around then} all the way to the graduation date. Because thats your schedule. And the first 7 weeks of prototype are days, so you can plan on that too. I liked that much better than the uncertainty of the study schedule in power school and felt like I saw my husband far more in prototype than I did in power school.

The first 7 weeks of prototype had to be 12 hour shifts. He spoke to his advisor and, after the first 2 weeks of prototype, he was allowed to come in early so he could leave early. With 4 children, arriving home shortly after 7 pm-- the busy hour of baths, pajamas, and stories before their 8 pm bedtime-- was crazy and chaotic. For the first 2 weeks of prototype, he came home to roughly 45 minutes to an hour of epic meltdowns. Over tired and excited children glad to see Daddy, tired from their day and resisting bedtime, to be bathed and put in bed by a hungry and exhausted Daddy. When he could go in earlier for his 12 hour shift, it was much better; he started going in between 5 am and 6 am. Even getting home at 6 pm gave him time to change and eat before the bedtime hour started. My husband wanted to help with the bedtime hour on those shifts because that was his only interaction with the children during day shift; on days he left before they woke up.


My husbands prior experience did work to our advantage in prototype; he spent most of the shifts on reduced hours. If students are a certain distance ahead of the curve in prototype, they are awarded reduced hours, which, depending on how far ahead of the curve they are, are either 8 or 10 hour shifts. Reduced hours made shift work far more bearable. On day shift, I asked him to be home by 6 pm, for the reasons stated above. On mid shift, he would leave for work after the kids went to bed at 8 pm. Most of the time he would go in at 10 pm, but, if he was really busy at work, he would go in at 9 pm. I loved mid shift. He would sleep in our guest room during the day, which was removed from the rest of the house, and sleep pretty much "work hours," 9 to 5, wake up in time for dinner, play with the children and then put them to bed, and then he and I would have time to curl up on the couch and watch a show together.

Swing shift was my least favorite shift. There was no good time to go in for swing shift. If he did reduced hours and went in at 2 pm, our whole morning routine was thrown off because we were hanging around the house until he woke up around 10 am and then we would hang around with him until he went in to work at 2 pm, which was about the time our toddlers went down to nap, which forced us to linger around the house even longer. It threw off the rhythm to our day. Swing shift kept him away on the busiest part of the day {evening hours} that was only made harder because our whole routine was thrown off by that awkward morning lingering {4 children off schedule = disaster}. He tried doing reduced hours to see us more, but eventually I told him that the reduced hours just made it harder. He used swing shift to work and stay ahead of the curve. The only nice thing about swing shift is that I used swings to schedule all our doctors appointments. I would schedule them around 10 or 11 am, after he woke up, and he would go in on reduced hours. We always tried to be home when he woke up on swing shift so the children could see him.

This is when we were exceptionally glad we homeschooled and had the flexibility to adjust our hours to be home with Daddy. If you look at the schedule, there are off days in there. Many of them arent actually off days, but days to help transition your sleep schedule. Here is a breakdown of the sleep schedule on shiftwork:

Days:
It was hard not to look at days as a day shift, "Oh, yay! Hes working regular hours and I will see him regular hours!" No. When he was on days, he had just come off mids so he was tired and grouchy. He went to bed at roughly the same time as the children and sometimes staying awake all the way until 8 pm was a struggle. There were times where he went in the boys room to read them a story and I found him asleep on a twin bed with the boys climbing all over him.

2 day {The 2 days off in between days and T-week}:
This was our weekend. More often than not in fell on a weekday. Since we homeschooled, I never did school with our kids on these days, weekend or weekday. We usually ended up doing errands or put-off projects on these days, which I think is what most people do on these days, but parents with 4 kids definitely do on these days. These are the days that were either filled with car maintenance, doctors appointments that we worried would be too long to squeeze in before swing shift, and various other house projects. Rarely did we not have something along those lines on a 2 day. I do think that is normal with family life, though.

T-Week:
This is training week for the staff so the students had to go find other sections staff for their qualifications. This didnt affect me at all, as the spouse. During T-week, his sleep schedule was almost normal for a "regular" day shift.

4-day:
4-days were lovely! Mostly because swings come next and so he started really trying to stay up in the evenings. These are the nights of movie watching, no school days {homeschooling, remember?}, and playing outside {South Carolina, remember?}. Again, generally we had something going on {we have 4 kids}, but they were still something to look forward to and very much enjoyed, far more than the 2 day, which always felt like an awkward weekend...in the middle of the week.

Swings:
The weird thing about swing shift is that he was almost the most "normal" sleep-wise. He was most alert, most rested on swings, but we saw him the least. He only had to stay at work until midnight and then he came home and went to sleep, at least, the first part of each swing shift. The last part of swing shift is totally awkward. He starts trying to stay up later in preparation for mids, so he his rising time is later: 8 am, 9 am, 10 am... 10:30 am... and that time between the time he rises and the time he leaves for work shrinks... and he gets home after we are all in bed. I will also add, in my Navy wife experience, all bad things happen on swing shift. This is the shift that you will get a migraine; you will forget your ID at home and thus cannot get back on base; your children will all get sick; your best friend will have distant relatives in town and so cannot come over each evening to calm your nerves. This kind of stuff only happens on swing shift.

Swings to mids rotation:
These are the off days in between swings and mids. When I first saw these on the calendar I thought, "Aw, how lovely to have all these off days built in our calendar!" Nope. These are basically sleep days. The crews usually meet up in the middle of the night to help each other stay awake, such as meeting up for pizza or to play basketball. I never went to any of these because 1. I am not a bat, awake all night, and 2. We always have kids sleeping at home. I do know that some significant others did go with their military members to these get-togethers, but as the parent watching the children, I never did. During the day on these rotations, he slept. In the evening on these rotations, he was tired.

Mids:
Since he put in so much work at the end of swings and the swings to mids rotation, he was fairly prepared for mids each time. My husband has a gift for falling asleep. I am not saying that sarcastically. I do think it is a gift as a submariner. He can sleep just about anytime, anywhere. He had no problems sleeping during the day and no problems sleeping in our guest room with the children home. As the parent awake with the 4 children making noise as he slept, I did worry they were waking him or that he wasnt getting good rest. However, he always assured me they were fine. I started trusting this and letting the kids live their lives as normal. I said it before, but I loved mid shift. I looked forward to putting the kids to bed each evening and our time together to watch a movie and hang out without him being tired. When he left for work at 10 pm, this was the time that I was heading to bed anyways and so I didnt really think of this as time away from him. I didnt like sleeping alone and sleeping alone bothered me far more in the past. Living on base with 4 children, a cat, and a dog in the house, across the street from my best friend and her husband {who was on a different shift than us}, helped me feel far less alone. I did miss falling asleep next to him and one mid shift I made the error of reading a scary book, but, in general, I slept fine. I do know that mid shift wasnt his favorite for his sleep schedule, but he did enjoy our time together and the time with the kids. He came home just as the children were waking up and spent all evening with us.

Mids to days rotation:
These days and the first part of days were enough to make me doubt each time if I really loved mid shift as much as I thought I did. Man, these were tired, grouchy days for him. He would try to stay awake as long as possible, but it was impossible, even with the children distracting him. He was so tired. I tried to leave him alone as much as possible on these days, no planning anything that could wait.

"Thanks," you say, "for the sleep schedule. But what is prototype? How do you pass it?" Im not even going to pretend that I understand exactly how the system works to get qualified at prototype. Here is a very simplified version of the process:

• You do computer check outs to see if you are prepared enough to monopolize an instructors time for an actual check out where you can get signatures for your "qual card" {qualification card, which is actually a ginormous book requiring upwards of 650 signatures}.
• You must complete all the computer check outs.
• You must get all the signatures.
• There are verbal check outs with the instructors and then there are check outs where you have to stand watch.
• There are smaller watch standing check outs and bigger watch standing check outs. If you are in charge of the watch, you are the Engineering Officer of the Watch {EOOW}. That is a Big Deal and deserves a special dinner the first time you stand it.
• You have to take a comprehensive exam which takes about 8 hours to complete. This is a Pretty Big Deal and also demands a special dinner after you pass.
• To graduate prototype, you have to stand a watch board and, the very last thing, the oral board. These are Even Bigger Deals and sometimes people fail them. They get about 2 more tries if they fail them. These deserve Big Celebrations after they are passed.
• After all that, your crew goes out to a celebratory dinner together in which everyone takes a cab home.

Besides the sleep schedule and the check out process, there is the boat schedule to contend with. When he started prototype, we thought with his prior experience that he would be qualified quickly. I briefly mentioned before that each class gets divided between the 2 boats. Our class had a January graduation date. Our boat broke and our grad date floated around for a long while before finally being pushed back to join the class behind us for the March grad date. The people in our class on the other boat did graduate in January and went to the February SOBC class. Since our grad date was pushed back to March, now he is in the April SOBC class. The boat schedule is frustrating. I especially disliked that when a boat is shut down, you cant get quals on the other operational boat. You are just stuck sitting around doing what you can until your boat gets running again. Prototype is supposed to be 24 weeks long and it took us 32 weeks due to the boat we were on. Not only did he not qualify as quickly as we thought it would take, but he stood rotating shiftwork 8 weeks after his projected grad date.

Around the time you start rotating shiftwork, week 8, you put in your Dream Sheet, which ranks your duty station options and boat types 1 through 10. Around week 20, 4 weeks before graduation if your crew is on schedule, you get orders with your duty assignment {read my blog post, "Submarine officers JO tour dream sheet" for more information on duty station options, etc.}. Some people have already gone through SOBC and will report to their boats immediately after graduation; some, like us, have SOBC after prototype and report to their boat after SOBC. When our boat shut down and our grad date got pushed back, the orders for our class were taken away and reissued. It was such an uncertain time. We had to cancel a house hunting trip we had planned over one of his 4 days; I ended up flying out to our next duty station to go house hunting without him because he cant take time off in prototype. It was a mess. It was made messier because we didnt know what his grad date was, what SOBC class he would be in, if our orders would stay the same. I got our house ready in January to pack out early February. Then our orders changed and we ended up packing out in March. I am glad that is all over.

Prototype, to me, started out far better than power school. I loved the reduced hours. I loved knowing exactly when he would be home and what his schedule was for the next couple weeks. I loved the 4 day weekends and being able to schedule doctors appointments when he would be home to watch the children. However--big however-- by the time it was over, I was over prototype. I hated the uncertainty at the end. Are we moving now? We had written and cut orders that changed. Are we going to the same boat? Same state? What SOBC class will he be in? When can we go house hunting? How much longer will he have rotating shiftwork? I had anticipated rotating shiftwork until-- at the latest-- his grad date in January, not all the way until March. I didnt ever quite grasp how the system worked to get signatures and what you were supposed to do when your boat was shut down and so, to me, it often felt disjointed or that nagging feeling of, "Surely there is a better way!" {Perhaps that is my mom-of-4 organizational skills kicking in, attempting to find the quickest and easiest system.}

I often had that feeling in prototype that I was being impatient, that boat life is harder than this. That I needed to take a deep breath and enjoy him being home. Our last boat was a fast attack submarine and that life was so up and down, in and out, nothing but uncertainty--never being able to count on him being home, always having my plans cancelled. Needing him, needing a day with a him, a night with him, a moment with him-- preferably when it could be us, not us where he is tired with gray circles under his eyes and Im frazzled, but us how we are in my mind, how we were. And when I compared prototype to boat life, I felt guilty. Boat life was so so so much harder. I knew I had it better in prototype, yet I struggled so much with the desire for this ever changing grad date, the tedious rotating shiftwork, the endless move preparations {with 4 children underfoot!} to be over... I thought of the loneliness and isolation of boat life, not being able to tell my family boat movements. And, yet, I was impatient. It was one of those times as a Navy wife where the grass is greener and yet you know it is not. You know the next thing isnt better than the current thing, and still you long for a change. Im terrified to get back on a submarine, now with 4 children instead of 1 like last time. Im sure when he leaves on that first underway I am going to cry thinking about warm South Carolina afternoons where he was working on a project in our garage and our children were riding bikes around the driveway while I sat and drank sweet tea watching our life march forward...

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Wow! It has been awhile since my last blog post. A lot has happened since then. We are in the midst of a PCS, one of those military moves where we wont be at our next destination for months and we are living with relatives and traveling to visit friends. These are all good things, but it has been exceedingly stressful planning this out with 4 children. On top of the craziness of getting our house ready to be packed out, we are making this move with a season change: wardrobes for 2 seasons for our family of 6 with a cross country drive at the end of these couple months. We have been consciously trying to pack our belongings in a way that we hope will fit in our vehicles when we drive from the east coast to the west coast (and trying not to stress out over a 5 day drive with 4 children, in the meantime). I packed our winter clothes lightly, with the hope that the winter will wrap up soon. Im relying on layering and the one winter jacket I brought for each family member. It is the first day of spring and snowing so it seems my good intentions are for naught. My children are going to be shivering for the next couple weeks! Could it please warm up soon?!?!

This PCS was one of the craziest PCSs we have made. I think I said that last time as well. When I first got married, I remember that being a whirlwind. California to the New Hampshire/Maine border in February was a shock to the system. After that, we were always moving with children. We had at least one child for our next 4 moves. I remember it being busy. When we moved across town with 3 children, I was ready to pull my hair out, but we still managed and my parents came to help us unpack. When we moved to South Carolina, we still had 3 children, but this time our twins were toddlers. I had them play on our patio as we unpacked the house and we managed to unpack quickly. PCSing a household with children is not convenient, by any stretch of the imagination, but still do-able. I search for the do-able.

Im not sure why it was so hard on my emotions and my stress level this time. I struggled a lot. While my husband and I worked on one area of the house, the children were destroying the other side of the house. I expected that, but I still found the level of mess that they were able to make in a short time hard to handle. One day while we were painting chairs, they "went camping." The three of them stripped their beds and stuffed their pillow cases and duffle bags with their entire wardrobes, their favorite puzzles (poured into the pillow cases, out of their boxes), and Playmobile people. I was mortified to discover this mess and it took us nearly an hour to clean it up. Afterwards I felt horrible because their little faces were so sad that I was upset. They were having such a nice time camping and I put a kibosh on the whole thing because of the mess.

Mentioning painting the chairs brought in another new element: DIY projects. My husband and I have never PCSd with 4 children. We have also never tackled the number of DIY projects we did this time, all the week before our pack out. Since we are building a house at our next duty station, we have decided that we also want to decorate it nicely. I did some thinking and browsing of my favorite designer sites and blogs and decided that I had a multitude of pieces I wanted painted or fixed up for our next house. My hubby and I discussed if we wanted to paint them in our current duty station or wait until we arrive at our next duty station. We decided-- since he will be reporting to a boat at our next duty station plus unpacking with 4 children-- that we should tackle as many DIY projects as we can before the pack out since we will still have much to do once we arrive. (I want my hubby to build us a couple pieces of furniture as well.) Looking back at how we spent our time before the pack out, I can confidently say that we undertook way too many projects. It was so stressful managing these projects as well as the children. I told my husband this and he agreed-- it was too much. However, he also pointed out that it would either be too many DIY projects before our pack out or too many DIY projects after we arrive at our destination. I agree on that. He also said that at least this way, it is all finished. I also agree with that. So, I dont know. Maybe there just isnt the "best time" to get a lot of DIY projects done with children and with a PCS; I can say I am excited to decorate our house.

...and our house. That was another first. This is our first time buying a house plus we are building it. It is all new to us. That has been stressful as well, but not nearly as stressful as my husband and I thought it would be. I think what helped us is that we were on the same page about the whole house buying process. We found what we were looking for. We liked our realtor. I was far more nervous approaching this than my husband was (he wanted to buy at several of our last duty stations) and we did have a number of disagreements. I think I just expected much more disagreements than we ended up having. I am very nervous about selling when we PCS next time, but Im putting that in a bubble and letting it go. We will cross that bridge when we get there.

Along with my husband and Is emotions approaching this PCS, our childrens emotions really came in to play this time, much more than last time. Our oldest had just turned 5 when we moved to South Carolina. He was nervous about leaving his friends and cried all the way from North Carolina to South Carolina; it was heartbreaking. This time, at 6 years old, he had a lot of anxiety approaching the move. He remembered PCSing and didnt want to leave his friends. He frequently complained about his tummy hurting and his emotions were very up and down the weeks before we moved. That was very heartbreaking. Our twins are almost 4 years old and mostly fed off of the emotions in our house-- my stress level, their older brothers stress level. They had very short tempers and there were a lot of tantrums to contend with. In general, there was a lot of conflict between all the boys, much of it to get our attention and much of it because they all werent sure how to process what was going on around them. The baby fed off my stress level at times, but he was mostly grouchy because, of course, he got sick. (And did I mention that one of our boys caught a stomach bug days before the pack out? Yeah, horrible timing.)

Now that we are settled in my parents house, we actually made a huge change and enrolled our oldest in kindergarten here. He started on St. Patricks Day and will finish out the year here. This is a big change for us as we homeschooled 5-year old preschool last year and kindergarten this year. We had started feeling God put the possibility of traditional school on our hearts several weeks ago when our oldest was having such a hard time with the uncertainty of our upcoming move. His anxiety and upset stomach really broke our hearts. Since he is a child that loves and craves routine, we started thinking that school would be a great option for him next year, for first grade, after we arrive at our next duty station. We felt that the routine of school would be good for him with the ups and downs of submarine life; no matter what the boat schedule is, no matter how uncertain our days are, he would have the consistency of his school routine. We felt like that would be a good option for him and felt that we would just use the rest of this year and this summer to continue to pray about it, marinate on the idea. I, for one, loved the flexibility of homeschooling. When my husband and I discussed school, it basically came down to homeschooling works best for me and traditional school might work best for our son. Anyways, so the children and I moved to my parents house and settled in. We had been here for 4 days when I saw the stress starting to peek through in his behavior. I called my hubby and we decided to enroll him here at my parents house, where I will be living until this July. We also felt that being in a place he is comfortable and familiar with might be a great place to get his feet wet with traditional school. My hubby also thought that it would be a great place to try it out because there are so many adults living under one roof-- plenty of people to help with baked goods, carpool pick ups, and volunteer days-- and plenty of people to make sure I places on time. Also, now that hes started, when we do get to our next duty station and enroll him in first grade, he will know what to expect from school; it wont be so foreign to him.

We are all settling into this new temporary routine. The boys are all also enrolled in a gym program so we have plenty of space to get the wiggles out. The toddlers have especially enjoyed taking advantage of the open play hours in the afternoon while our oldest is at school. Ive enjoyed taking them to it as, while my parents house is quite comfortable, the open play can accommodate them much better than this shared space (and there is no possibility of them breaking anything!). It is strange going out with 3 children instead of 4. Im constantly feeling like I left someone. I have to admit, it is nice doing activities geared towards our toddlers without feeling like it is too big for our toddlers or too young for our oldest. Our oldest is also especially tall and strangers are often reprimanding him for being in places that are "too young for him," when actuality, it is geared for his age, if not his height. So far all of the boys seemed very pleased with our new routine. Our oldest is loving school and its accoutrements. We bought him a new lunch pail, appropriate jeans (how do every pair of his jeans have holes in them?!), and he loves toting his things to and from school in his backpack. He loves his teacher and classmates. He loves showing us his work at the end of the day. It is a big change from homeschooling, though Im feeling peace about the decision. I was exceedingly sad and shed many tears when we moved in this direction because I thought we would be homeschooling him for at least 1-3 more years, but this was the time for us to move in a different direction and we have all embraced it well. Im sure I could write much more on this topic, but the boys are starting to get restless.

A lot of big changes at our house. A lot of new routines. A lot of changes on the horizon. For now we are focusing on enjoying our time with family before we move to the west coast; Im eagerly planning visits with friends before that move as well. We are taking one day at a time and following where God is guiding us!

****P.S. During this PCS, we have switched to disposables. I know Ive written several blog posts on cloth diapering, but I could not figure out how we would manage cloth while living with family for several months and making all the trips we have planned to visit friends. If you are a cloth diapering military family, did you cloth diaper while PCSing? Even with a TDY? How do you handle cloth while traveling?

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Here we are... Asthma Management Plan in hand for one of our toddlers. Last February, O had a severe case of RSV that put him in the PICU for four days. Shortly afterwards, we were seen by an asthma/allergy doctor who told us that O has "reactive airways." We actually had not noticed his retractions, induced by simply walking around the room. She asked, "Does he always breathe like that?" She was very helpful and put him on Singulair, but I left that appointment feeling like a horrible mother. The big question running over and over again through my mind, "How did I miss that?" He stayed on Singulair for a couple months, into the summer. We-- thank the Lord!-- managed to avoid catching any summer colds. The summer passed easily and O finished his prescription on Singulair. I watched his breathing and didnt feel that it was "out of control." I still noticed those retractions, but they didnt seem that bad. Maybe he was doing fine?

September came and the weather cooled. Our boys caught their first cold of the season two weeks ago. It passed around between us, a mild cold that only caused congestion. While our preschooler and C seemed to have caught it and moved on, it settled in Os chest. He was up two nights ago coughing intensely, the next day he started wheezing, and that afternoon he started retracting. Always a good natured child, he smiled and giggled all through that night, snuggling in bed with my husband and I while we nervously watched him labor. Yesterday morning I brought him into the pediatrician for a breathing treatment. His oxygen levels were still good (the color never changed in his face and he wasnt lethargic or we would have been at the childrens ER in a heartbeat!), but his retractions were intense. The breathing treatment helped and we discussed what I should do at home. Our CPNP gave me the option of an Albuterol inhaler or the nebulizer. As an (adult) asthmatic, I know how and am comfortable administering a breathing treatment with the inhaler. I even had given my oldest breathing treatments that way when he was a toddler, thus I chose the inhaler.

That evening his wheezing became much more intense. His retractions really picked up. I gave him a breathing treatment via inhaler with a child-sized spacer and it went okay. He wasnt fond of me holding him down, but he did take the required dose. Off he toddled, wheezing less but still retracting. My forehead furrowed... what should we do? He slept fitfully through the night. I heard him cough and toss and turn. I listened and each time he managed to fall back asleep. I worried through the night. Is he in there struggling? Sleeping? Is he okay?

This morning his wheezing was back in full force. I wrestled with him through a breathing treatment. He saw the inhaler and took off running, apparently no longer curious about the bears on the side of the spacer. I made him an appointment with the pediatrician to possibly get another breathing treatment and to discuss our options. I worried about the rest of the cold season. Would we end up back in the PICU? Or continue coming to the pediatrician every time he gets a cold, like we did last season even on Singulair? Where do we go from here? I felt like Singulair wouldnt be enough, but that what we were doing (nothing) wasnt covering it. And, for a number of reasons, I wanted to see a different asthma/allergy specialist. We saw a different doctor in the practice since it was a last minute appointment and our CPNP was unavailable. However, our CPNP met with the doctor before our appointment and filled her in on everything. Our doctor walked into the appointment fully knowing Os story and had reviewed his chart. Instead of spending the appointment filling her in on his past medical history, she knew his history with RSV already and about his history of wheezing, as well yesterdays appointment. We spent time discussing family history and really listening to Os lungs. She confirmed the reactive airways diagnosis, stating that it is really difficult to say that a 17-month old definitely has asthma. Although, considering our family history and Os personal history, she would guess that this isnt something he will outgrow. Regardless, we need to treat it now. And so we wrote a treatment plan for Os reactive airways.

Yesterday when O came into the pediatrician for breathing treatments he was in the "Red zone." Today he is in the "Yellow zone." We want him to be in the "Green zone." Here are his medications for each zone, each given through a nebulizer unless stated otherwise:

• When he is in the "Green zone," he will only take Pulmicort twice a day. Symptoms in the "Green zone:" breathing is good; no cough or wheeze; can work and play.
• In the "Yellow zone," he may need 2 puffs of his Albuterol inhaler through the spacer. Within an hour he can take a dose every 20 minutes, up to 3 doses, if we are out of the house. If we are home, an Albuterol treatment with the nebulizer. After the hour, if his symptoms keep improving, he can continue taking puffs from his inhaler every 4-8 hours, if needed. She said that if were to come down with a cold, we could use Orapred, a corticosteroid, for 5 days. This is more effective in managing a flare-up than bursts of Albuterol, which is a bronchodilator. Symptoms in the "Yellow zone:" coughing, wheezing, tight chest, wakes up at night.
• The "Red zone" means trouble. Starting with the symptoms: medicine is not helping, breathing is hard and fast, nose opens wide, cant walk, ribs show, cant talk well. We continue with the Albuterol and Orapred. We contact our doctor and see what she recommends, or we call 911. She said, if we follow our action plan, that usually we will be calling 911 instead of the pediatricians office because we will have followed all the steps they would recommend. We dont want to be in the "Red zone."

We had to do an Albuterol treatment this evening, our first at home. O started retracting and wheezing, his nose started flaring some, and he could not catch his breath. I whipped out the nebulizer and set everything up. At first he wasnt happy. The breathing treatments in the hospital for his RSV were very quiet. With a nebulizer, the machine is loud. He didnt like it at the pediatricians office and he didnt like it at home. I held him in a cradle hold so he couldnt turn his head away from me and sang him "Beautiful Boy," a favorite of ours. He calmed down by the end of it. The nebulizer treatment took about 10 minutes, as our pediatrician said it would. During that time, my other toddler got a fat lip and pulled every book off the bottom shelf of a bookcase. I told my mom that I kept saying, "If you take that book off the shelf, I will... okay, seriously, if you take that next book off the shelf, I really will... this time I mean it, do not touch that book... please? Please dont touch that book?" I really think C knew that Momma was busy and could not get up to wrangle him. The fat lip... he took the box the nebulizer came in, laid his blanket over top of it, and then banged his head on it. Why? Does that even make sense? He looks up and there it was-- a fat lip. For the Pulmicort treatment before bed, I put C in his crib while I gave O his treatment. Containment: a twin moms best friend.

All along this road, every doctor weve spoken to about his wheezing and reactive airways has mentioned his severe RSV back in February (see my blog post, "RSV and premature babies"). Today our pediatrician mentioned it. She said that there are many studies about whether RSV triggers reactive airways or if children with reactive airways just come down with severe cases of RSV-- what comes first? This question has really weighed on my mind. After talking with our doctor today, I dont think it matters so much. Perhaps O has reactive airways because of his severe case of RSV. Perhaps he only had such a severe case of RSV because hes always had reactive airways; remember, his identical twin brother had RSV at the same time and only had an ear infection with fevers-- not even a trip to the ER for him. My heart does break for O. Watching him retract the way he does and holding him against my chest, hearing that wheeze shake his little lungs... I want to protect him.

My mom has always joked that my kids are going to put me through all the things that I put her through. For instance, I was a breath-holder as a baby; my oldest was a breath-holder. (He was the most intense case our pediatrician had ever seen! He grew out of it at three, though he recently had breath-holding episodes in recovery after his umbilical hernia surgery.) I am exceptionally stubborn and I have two very stubborn children. However, both my mom and I agree that I do not want to experience the terror of watching your child suffer from an asthma attack. As a teenager I had a severe asthma attack; my momma was by my side in the ambulance. Right now, when I think about O and his "reactive airways" and possible future with asthma, that fear is what grips my bones.

I feel much better with our Asthma Management Plan in hand. I feel much better knowing that if these meds dont get him under control, we have other options. I feel much better knowing we have a doctor who is invested in our child, managing his asthma, and communicating with us. Im not sure why it was so hard facing an action plan or really getting the help. Perhaps I was afraid of admitting that he could have asthma and could always need to know where his inhaler is or avoid running outside when the seasons are changing or take medications twice a day for the rest of his life. Are those things so bad? Not in the scheme of things. But I didnt really want them for him and it has been hard for me to swallow that maybe... maybe he does have asthma. Right now Im much more comfortable with reactive airways.

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post pregnancy weight loss c section

Get Pregnant Naturally By Changing Lifestyle and Eating Habits

I rest my case! More evidence that making simple lifestyle changes can drastically improve your chances of getting pregnant.
 Im so happy when I see articles which support natural methods of enhancing fertility especially since so many couples are pushed into fertility treatments before really addressing their diet and other lifestyle factors. Read more about the study:

SEE ALSO: FOODS FOR FERTILITY AND PREGNANCY (Getpregnantover40.com)

The team devised a scoring system on dietary and lifestyle factors that previous studies have found to predict ovulatory disorder infertility. Among those factors were:

• The ratio of mono-unsaturated to trans fats in diet

• Protein consumption (derived from animals or vegetables)

• Carbohydrates consumption (including fiber intake and dietary glycemic index)

• Dairy consumption (low- and high-fat dairy)

• Iron consumption

• Multivitamin use

• Body mass index (BMI, weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters)

• Physical activity. from:
harvard.edu

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This blog post on our bedtime routine was inspired by a post I read last night on "Mels 2 Belles" called Bad Habits.

Bedtime is probably the most challenging time of day. By the time bedtime rolls around, your mind is wandering to the bottle of wine you have chilling in the fridge and your body longs to collapse on the couch (with chocolate).

Here was our old bedtime routine:

Dinnertime sometime between 5:30 pm and 6:30 pm, depending on when I started cooking.

After dinner, playing outdoors with the boys.

7:00 pm: bring the toddlers in for bath and pajama time (pajama to the left, pajama to the right, jamma, jamma, jamma, jamma, P! J!) Toddlers then meltdown through entire pajama routine.

7:15-7:30 pm: Toddlers go to bed early because Momma is done listening to meltdowns.

7:45 pm: Momma hollering outside to Husband and preschooler that it is probably time to possibly think about coming inside, maybe?

8:00 pm: Husband wrestles with preschooler through bath time. Preschooler cries through bath time and drags his feet getting pajamas on. A very frustrated-- and rushed-- story time.

8:20-8:40 pm: All the kids usually down for the night. Preschooler is the last one in bed, though the shenanigans in the bathroom and hallway tend to wake up the toddlers.

8:30 pm -ish: Momma starts picking up the rest of the sun room toys, tidying the kitchen and kitchen table, finish packing Husband and preschoolers lunches.

9:15-9:30 pm: Parents finally get to the couch to stare blankly at the television, exhausted by the wrestling match bedtime had become.

Obviously, we needed a change.
So here is our NEW bedtime routine:

Dinnertime, which I already have planned out a week in advance and the ingredients bought via online grocery shopping, is started around 4:30 pm. We usually eat between 5:00-5:30 pm.

Tidy up the kitchen and sun room BEFORE going outside. The toddlers can play outside until, at the latest, 6:45 pm. Bring the toddlers in for pajama time! (Oh, yes, pajama time!) I get them undressed in the same area every night; that way they know what is expected of them ("Okay, it is time to get ready for bed!"). I then have them carry their dirty clothes to the hamper. On bath nights, they go to the bathroom. On nights we arent bathing, we head to their room for pajamas.

Between 7:00 and 7:15 pm, the preschooler and my husband come inside. (If Husband is not home, D comes inside with us when I bring the toddlers in. He either helps with his brothers or listens to a book on tape while I get them ready for bed.) We read stories all together with all three boys in "the reading chair;" when I read to all the kids at the same time, we try to find easy picture books that appeal to both age groups. I then take the toddlers to their bedroom while the preschooler brushes his teeth and puts on his jams. I read the toddlers some toddler stories (Goodnight, Moon, Jamberry, Sandra Boynton) and put them to bed.

After the toddlers go to bed, around 7:30-7:45 pm, I finish tidying up our living spaces. Sometimes I have our preschooler help with this, like have him wipe down the kitchen table. This is when I finish packing the lunches. (I start packing the lunches when I clean up the dinner mess. I usually pack leftovers for my husband and so half of his lunch is already packed.) Then I come out to the reading chair and read the preschooler some preschool stories (our recent library check outs, Roald Dahl, or whatever books he picks out).

After stories with our four-year old, it is off to bed for him! He gets all his current favorite animals and tucks them all in. Then we say prayers and tuck him in. Lights out by 8:00 pm! (Okay, sometimes we get caught up reading and he doesnt go to bed until 8:15 pm.)

Once all the kids are in bed between 8:00 and 8:15 pm, there is nothing else to do. My husband and I are free to watch a movie! Or a DVRd show! Or check our email! I dont have a whole room of toys to clean up or a kitchen full of dirty dishes... nope. Nothing. Ah, it is wonderful.

I get done the same amount of things with our old and new schedule. We consciously rearranged our nightly to-do list to make it work better. The kids arent overtired during bath time and pajama time. By the time we read stories, they are ready to listen. I can relax reading our preschooler stories because I am not thinking about the millions of things I need to get done after he goes to bed. We just made a series of minor adjustments to the schedule. As an unexpected bonus, my husband and I are going to bed earlier. I was staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning (or later) reading and then waking up at 8 am with the kids; this worked until our days got busier and I had less downtime in the afternoon. Now I have time to do the things I want to do much earlier in the evening and dont feel the need to stay up so late to get them done. I am also much more relaxed when the kids go to bed; I felt like I was wound up so tightly before because it was so stressful and there was so much crying.

As a note, the above schedules often say "I do this," instead of my husband doing it. My husband is actually the one who usually does all of this. We try to keep our schedule simplified enough so one person can do it. That way when my husband is home, I can go take care of other things while he takes care of the kids or he can take the preschooler while I take the toddlers. Keeping the schedule simplified also allows me the freedom to go out in the evening, leaving my husband to do bedtime, or vice versa. Weve even had-- gasp!-- a baby-sitter. :)

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